章節 112: Trust and Loyalty
A smile was beautifully drawn on Cao Yingjie's face as he covered himself with a blanket and lay back in his bed. The food he asked his mother now forgotten because of the happiness he was feeling. This will be the first step to the restoration of his family…the first step to his dream.
Hou Wei Yan who was observing him since earlier couldn't help but shake her head. Although feeling guilty for somehow betraying Cao Xiaolian, she's still glad that she took the chance and made Yingjie feel better.
Wishing him happiness, she walked towards him and kissed his temple. After doing this, she glanced at her watch and was now a little worried because it was time for her to go home. Not wanting to disturb Cao Yingjie who was now grinning while thinking of what tomorrow holds, she decided to step outside to call Fang Tao.
As soon as she stepped outside, she noticed a crouching figure outside. Concerned, she immediately closed the door and crouched down so she could talk to her face to face.
"Xiaolian," she gently called out. When Cao Xiaolian raised her head, Hou Wei Yan immediately sighed as tears trickled down her cheeks. "You heard everything, didn't you?"
She slowly nodded her head making Hou Wei Yan sigh once more. Bothered, she stretched out her hands and brought Cao Xiaolian's head to her shoulders. She gently caressed her hair as she cried in the hallway.
It took her a good few seconds before she could mutter the question that was bugging her the whole time. "Wei Wei, what am I supposed to do?"
Hou Wei Yan released her from her grasp and looked her directly in the eye. The tears flowing from her eyes are an obvious sign of her turbulent emotions. She could cut off Makio without sparing him a glance and deny him of Yingjie…but here she is crying her eyes out in confusion. A confusion that shouldn't even exist if her heart was as hard as stone as she claims.
"Do you love him?" she finally asked after she saw the desperate look in her eyes. She was still seeking answers even though it was obvious what will come out of it.
Cao Xiaolian was taken by surprise by this question. "What?"
"I'm asking you if you still love Makio," Hou Wei Yan asked once more, this time, her tone was warm and understanding. She was observing Cao Xiaolian for a while now and even though she doesn't admit it, her confusion is the answer she was seeking all along.
"It's been 8 years, Xiaolian…and in that span of time, you didn't allow any man to enter your life. You're always well-guarded and never did you once allow them to talk to you when everything is over. You coldly left those whom you detested and never gave them another chance," she muttered softly, like a whisper in the wind. She refuses to admit it, but her actions gave her away.
She was a cold woman. She's strong and independent to the point that she never really needed a man to help her to fix her troubles. But Makio was her only exception and she knew that it wasn't simply because he was Yingjie's father…but because he was the one man she genuinely loved. It may sound cliché…but Makio is probably her fated mate.
"But when it comes to him, you showed signs of forgiveness. Am I wrong to assume that you still love him?" she added as she flashed Cao Xiaolian a smile. It was no use denying it. Those around her probably knew that she loves Makio. It was her that was stubbornly refusing to acknowledge it to protect herself.
Cao Xiaolian fell into silence when she heard this. She loved Makio, more than any of them know. She was an orphan and always believed that she was unloved and doesn't even deserve to feel love. Grand Elder Bei made her feel familial love…and Makio made her feel romantic love and it was the best part of her life. But it was ruined and she doesn't want to risk her heart once more to a man who already betrayed her.
"But my love for him isn't going to just erase the actions he committed that lead to this misfortune," she finally admitted making Hou Wei Yan hug her once more.
"Xiaolian," she called out warmly. "I only met him a few times but I saw how loyal he can be. Why don't you try hearing him out and try believing in him a little for your sake…and for Yingjie's happiness,"
"I'm afraid that if I give him another chance…I would end up broken again," Cao Xiaolian cried out. The thought of Makio breaking his promise still hunts her. But what terrifies her more is the thought of seeing her son receiving hope only to get abandoned in the end just like her. "He might leave me and my son broken again,"
"Sometimes you need to take a risk to achieve happiness. You never know what the future holds so stop thinking about it and focus on how you will give Yingjie the family that he deserves," Hou Wei Yan muttered.
Seeing Cao Yingjie long for a complete family reminds her of her siblings. She wanted to give them a complete family but she failed miserably and no matter how hard she tries to patch up the hole their situation created; the void remains there.
"I know that forgiving someone is hard. When we were children it was easy but as we grew older, it became hard because of our pride. But if you dawdle and feed your pride you won't achieve the peace of mind that you need. So why don't you take tiny steps and forgive him little by little depending on the actions that he will make for you and your child," she added with a smile on her face. "The Xiaolian I know is strong…so learn to forgive because forgiveness is the attribute of the strong,"
Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
She hated appearing weak and hopeless so she always strived for strength. It was sometimes tiring but at the end of the day, her strength made her the mother that Cao Yingjie needs. All that matters to her is her son and if this will put him and her in peace then she will do her best to achieve it…as the superhero her son always adored.
"I'll…try," she slowly said as she wiped her tears away and stood up with a determined look on her face. She doesn't want to remain a prisoner of her past. She needs to be set free from it so she could finally breathe with ease.
…..
As soon as the sun set and darkness began announcing its presence, the servants of Li Wei Mansion immediately set up the lights and illuminated the Mansion with warmth. The scene of the garden slowly lighting up reminded Hou Wei Yan of the fantasy books she read when she was young. She enjoyed this picturesque view and savored it from the library window with a thick book placed in her lap.
When everything was lit up, she smiled before returning her attention to the book she was reading. She was so engrossed in it that one would think she won't notice any movements in the room. However, the familiar soft footsteps that crept behind her were immediately picked up by her senses.
Ji Li Zhao who was already donning his mask wrapped his arms around her neck and placed a gentle kiss on her cheeks. "I'm back,"
Hou Wei Yan's lips immediately curved up with his actions. She slightly looked up and returned the kiss…but this time, she aimed for his lips. Once she was done, she flashed him a huge grin. "Welcome home,"
Her cute actions surprised Ji Li Zhao but he was fast to recover from it. He tilted his head and stroked her hair with a curious glint in his eyes. "What are you reading? You didn't even notice me coming in,"
"Anatomy," Hou Wei Yan answered as she closed the book and allowed her husband to see the cover of it.
A soft chuckle instantly came out of his mouth when he heard this. She was so engrossed in it and was even smiling widely that he thought it was a cute romantic story that reminded her of them. "Your eyes were sparkling so I thought you were reading a romantic novel,"
"But this is romantic?" she retorted which only made Ji Li Zhao crack up a laugh. She was really amusing in more ways than one.
As soon as his laughter died down, he snuggled closer to her and hugged her from behind. His head was resting on her shoulders and she could hear his gentle breathing. Hou Wei Yan loved this closeness but somehow it was lacking.
While he was inhaling her scent, she looked up at him and touched his hands. Slowly, she guided him to sit beside her and he miraculously obeyed. Once he was well seated, she immediately placed down her book and sat on his lap before placing his arms on her wrist and hugging it.
This was the position that felt right to her and once more…her actions greatly surprised Ji Li Zhao. After the confession, his wife became bold and it's becoming hard for him to hold back. It was a good thing that she's now open with her emotions...but it will be troublesome if he loses his self-control.
In the middle of the warm silence that engulfed them, Hou Wei Yan suddenly opened up a topic that made Ji Li Zhao flinch. "Honey, be honest with me…are you making moves against Jinjin? Are you jealous of him?"
Ji Li Zhao who was obviously guilty cuddled closer to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. "What made you think that?"
"Fang keeps on glaring at him behind my back...and because you managed to commission Xie Na, I began suspecting Han Yu Shou to be on your side as well. He's been giving Jinjin a hard time and it's been bugging me ever since," Hou Wei Yan muttered as she stroked his ebony-colored hair. The softness of his hair greatly amused her and she was beginning to get addicted to it. "Are you jealous of him? Is that why you're doing this to him?"
"Would you hate me if I did?" he nervously asked which made Hou Wei Yan stop. She tilted her head in confusion and slowly looked up. When she saw his dejected face, she immediately smiled. She stretched out her hands and stroked his hands that were tightly cuddling her waist.
"No…but I'm slightly sad though," she admitted as she breathed a sigh of relief. She repeatedly told him that from now on she belongs to him and no man would stand a chance against him. "Don't you trust me?"
Ji Li Zhao pouted when he heard this. He knows just how faithful Hou Wei Yan is but the world is not as nice as her. Her kindness is her attractive feature and it invites other bees who want to smell her sweet scent. The thought of them flocking even though she won't spare them a glance still infuriates him. "I do…the one I don't trust is Zhou Jinhai,"
"Isn't it enough to trust me? I really don't have any romantic feelings for him and I doubt anything would bloom now that I have you," she softly whispered as she kissed his cheeks. "Tell them not to bother Jinhai anymore. You're giving everyone a hard time,"
Her kiss sent butterflies to his stomach. He felt giddy that letting off Jinhai didn't matter anymore. "Fine but you need to make sure not to let him take advantage of you in any way,"
"I promise," she answered as she cuddled close to him once more. She leaned closer to his body and buried herself in his warm embrace with a smile on her face. With this Han Yu Shou could focus on his work and stop giving her a hard time. "Should I compensate you for trusting me with more kisses and cuddles? Would that be enough?"
"I like the sound of that," he replied as he placed a tender kiss on her hair.
While savoring his warm and sweet moment, Hou Wei Yan can't help but notice the unusually large number of orchid symbols around the library and the house. "By the way, I've been curious…do you like Orchids that much? I always see it everywhere,"
Ji Li Zhao's hold on her tightened once more as he rested his head on her shoulder. Orchid is his connection to the past…his connection to their first meeting and their heartbreaking separation. It's proof of his childhood romance and a reminder of his mistake. It stands as a sign that holds all the precious memories he had with Hou Wei Yan…which she forgot because of him. "It's a significant plant for me,"
"Should I plant more of it in the garden? You like it that much, maybe we should fill a part of the garden with it," she warmly suggested. The garden already had plenty of plants but it still had plenty of space so she's out of ideas on what to do next for it.
He smiled at her suggestion. She worries too much and is very considerate even though he already gave her full control of the mansion's affairs. "That garden is yours to nurture. You can do whatever you like with it,"
"You're so sweet. I should start calling you Xiang Gong," Hou Wei Yan suddenly blurted out in the heat of the moment making Ji Li Zhao who was busy twirling her hair halt.
"Xiang Gong?" he asked as he looked down at her. When he saw the redness of her ears that signifies her embarrassment, his lips immediately curved. He continued twirling her hair and even placed a tender kiss on it before he whispered near her ears. "My Niang Zi is so cute I always feel bothered by it,"
A/N: Correct me if I'm wrong but according to my research "Xiang Gong" is the ancient term for husband while "Niang Zi" is the ancient term for wife.
"I haven't even shown you my cutest side," she slyly answered before looking up at him and flashing him a teasing grin. "I wonder if you can handle it…Xiang Gong,"
The mischievous glint in her eyes and the thought of her messing with him sent him into a blushing mess. To cover up his red face, Ji Li Zhao buried his face in her shoulders once more. "Ah, seriously…I don't want this moment to end. If this is a dream I don't want to wake up,"
Hou Wei Yan suddenly felt a pang of sadness hit her. She too believed that everything is surreal, but she felt his love and she trusted that it was real. It moved her when she learned that everything was real and even if this is only a dream, she'll wake up with a smile on her face because she met a man like him.
To assure him that he was truly loved and that she was openly showering him with it, she cupped his face and placed a tender kiss on his lips. It wasn't hasty nor was it rough…but rather sweet and intoxicating.
"This is all real" she whispered in his ears before she allowed him to kiss him once more…only this time with more passion ignited by her abundance of love.
…..
It was still early in the morning and yet Cao Xiaolian was already up. She was sipping her coffee when Cao Yingjie woke up and saw her pale complexion. Worry immediately crossed his face when he saw her trembling hands that were still stubbornly holding the cup of coffee. "Mama…are you okay? Why do you look so pale?"
"It's nothing," she meekly answered before she placed down her cup and approached him. She then placed a tender kiss on his forehead. "Do you want more fruit? Should I peel more apples for you?"
Cao Yingjie slowly shook his head with a huge smile on his face. "I'm okay…he'll be here soon,"
His words made Cao Xiaolian's nervousness rise up once more. That's right, Makio will arrive any minute now but she's still unprepared for his explanation. While she was still worried about what he will say, a sudden knock on the door echoed in the room and this immediately lit up Yingjie's face.
Not soon after, a man entered the room…but the Makio they were expecting looked somewhat new. His long curly jet black hair was cut short. The front layers were flipped back and had gradual cuts at the sides and back which was shorter than the top. The sideburns were long to balance out the movement and texture above. His glasses were nowhere to be seen which made his beautiful hazel eyes stand out even more.
"What in the world?" Cao Xiaolian muttered in confusion. He was wearing a plain button-up shirt and denim pants which made him look dashing compared to his old self. "Makio?"
"Did I look that different you can no longer recognize me?" he said in embarrassment. He allowed Darlene to do whatever he wants so he ended up changing a lot of things. He was even baffled by the finished product because he looked too decent compared to his usual lazy get-up.
Xiaolian nodded her head in amusement. "What happened to you?"
"I got a makeover," he shyly answered while stroking the back of his neck. After a few seconds of silence, he slowly approached Xiaolian and handed her a bouquet of Gloxinia which was her favorite flower. "I hope you like it,"
Although planning on ignoring him, Cao Xiaolian found herself extending her hands to accept the flowers. "Thank you,"
She stared at it long and hard before she diverted her eyes towards Makio who was smiling already. He looked so charming that it was nearly blinding her. This new get-up makes him stand out and it's making her heart somersault. He usually wears sweat pants and his hair is always long and disheveled and he wears glasses for protection of his eyes. Even when they were going out, he never wore anything like this. As though mocking her will for playing hard to get and not forgiving him, he appears like a young man and took her heart away once more.
"Who styled you up?" she bravely asked which broke the deafening silence in the room.
Makio was baffled by this sudden question but he was glad she was showing interest in him. "Darlene,"
"I should thank him later," she whispered with a blush on her face. Darlene is indeed a miracle maker and she was glad she decided to use her wand on Makio. To hide her growing blush, she took a step back and decided to place the flowers in a vase beside Cao Yingjie's bed.
He smiled at her actions. Not soon after, his eyes drifted to Cao Yingjie who had a huge smile on his face. He slowly approached him but stopped midway. He was unsure whether Cao Xiaolian was already okay with him approaching Yingjie so he turned to her with a curious look on his face. "Can I approach him? Can I talk with him?"
Cao Xiaolian who was busy arranging the flowers suddenly halted with his question. She was glad he was considerate enough to ask her first but the situation was making her heartache. He is Cao Yingjie's father but he needed to ask permission first before he could approach his own son. She caused this situation and it's now weighing down on her guilt.
"I'm going out for a second to ask the nurses to change the drip," she muttered after she nodded her head as a sign of permission. Once she was done wiping her wet hands, she walked out of the room and closed the door.
Makio stood there in silence as he watched her leave. A few seconds after she was gone, he turned back towards Cao Yingjie and slowly sat down on the chair beside his bed. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm doing fine. Big Sister stitched me up good," he answered with a huge smile on his face. "Once Mama returns, will you be ready to confess everything?"
"Only if she's willing to listen," he replied with a serious look on his face. It was all a misunderstanding and he prepared everything to prove that it was only a misunderstanding. He wasn't framed or anything but he still needs to show her the pieces of evidence he compiled so would believe him and finally cast away all her doubts.
"I will use my charm so she would listen," his son suddenly muttered which made him chuckle.
He stretched out his hands and ruffled his hair with a smile donning his face. "You don't have to. I'll use mine instead,"
While he was ruffing his hair, Cao Yingjie was savoring the moment. He finally met his father and he was beyond glad that he was willing to fix everything and stay with them. What he feared in meeting his father was rejection and abandonment. He was always worried about this but looks like his worries are silly thoughts. Because his father is a responsible man who only lost his opportunity to be with them.
"Yingjie…thank you for accepting me as your father and for giving me a chance to fix our family," Makio remarked when he saw his son smiling happily at their little interactions.
"I don't want to remain as a fatherless child so I'm technically doing this for myself," Cao Yingjie replied as he slowly stretched out his hands and held Makio's hands. "Papa,"
Makio wasn't all prepared to be a parent and he was unsure whether he will be a good father…but that was all before he knew that an angel like Cao Yingjie existed as his son. He is still unsure whether he will be a good father but he was willing to do anything it takes to become one. For this child in front of him who has his blood running in his veins, he will do anything.
A few minutes after their interaction, Cao Xiaolian entered the room once more with a nurse trailing behind her. Cao Yingjie's IV drip was immediately changed into a new one and not too soon, the family was left on their own. As soon as the nurse left, Makio urged Cao Xiaolian to take a seat in front of him. "Shino…are you willing to listen to me now?"
There was still hesitation within her. She wasn't sure whether she could take in once more the reality that she was cheated on. So, instead of immediately answering she looked at Cao Yingjie who already had an encouraging smile on his face.
Even though it's terrifying, she can no longer keep her son away from his father so this is the first step she needs to take in order to give him what he needs. "Promise me you'll only speak of the truth,"
"I promise," Makio answered without hesitation.
…..
It was already evening and fatigue was finally creeping n her system. Hou Wei Yan's shift just finished but she was still stuck in her office and sorting out some documents she needs to submit tomorrow. Qiu Miexiu was nowhere in sight because today was one of the days, she needs to fetch her niece from kindergarten.
While she was busy flipping through a document that intrigued her, a sudden knock on the door erupted causing her to lose focus. Thinking that it was an emergency, she immediately looked at Fang Tao and allowed him to open the door.
There stood, Cao Xiaolian with a distraught look on her face. Surprise and worry immediately crossed Hou Wei Yan's face as she slowly saw how grave the situation must have been for her to cry like this. "Xiaolian? What are you doing here?"
"Wei Wei," cried out as she approached Hou Wei Yan and hugged her. Her tears flowed uncontrollably making Hou Wei Yan anxious. Worried about Fang's presence that may worsen Cao Xiaolian's mood, she looked at him and motioned him to leave them for a few minutes. Fang Tao nodded his head and left without saying anything more.
"What happened? Did Makio do something? Whose watching over Yingjie right now?" she asked worriedly while repeatedly stroking Cao Xiaolian's back.
"I…I'm a failure," Cao Xiaolian answered in a shaky voice. Hou Wei Yan immediately tightened her embrace when she saw her trembling.
"Why would you think that? Tell me, what did Makio say to you?"
Cao Xiaolian tightened her grip on Hou Wei Yan's shirt as she cried her heart out. All these years she was under the wrong impression and lived a lonely life without him because of a lousy mistake. "He told me the truth…and someone vouched for its validity,"
Hou Wei Yan's brows immediately furrowed when she heard this. What truth did he tell her? Did he really cheat and apologized which made her act like this? "Did he really cheat on you?"
"No…he didn't…that's why I'm pathetic," she answered in between her cry. She was desperate to let her emotions out and Hou Wei Yan felt it. "He didn't cheat on me nor did he show disloyalty. He looked for us for a long time but because I always hid and concealed our presence well…he wasn't able to learn why I left and that I had a child with him. He only learned of the misunderstanding when he saw Yingjie and confronted me,"
Cao Xiaolian's cries intensified after blurting out the atrocity she made her son and lover go through. She felt so pathetic and the guilt was killing her. "It was all a misunderstanding…I raised my child away from his father because of that misunderstanding. And when I finally saw him, I blamed him and I hurt him…I feel awful,"
Hou Wei Yan has seen the many sides of Cao Xiaolian. She lived with her for quite a time and was there while she was still in the state of denying her feelings for her ex and moving on. She repeatedly uttered how much she despised her ex for cheating on her and she saw her determination to keep Yingjie away from his father.
To suddenly find out that she was the reason why their family broke apart, must have devasted her beyond words. The pain, the guilt, the misery…all of it must be swirling in her mind and it's driving her to insanity. If she continues to mull over it, she might get stuck once more in her spot and continue to blame herself.
"Now that you know the truth, you need to do the next right thing to fix the mishap you made," she softly whispered in Cao Xiaolian's ears before placing a tender kiss on her forehead. She could cry and she could blame herself, but it won't be good if she continues doing it for a long time. What she needs now is to correct her wrong and receive the resolution she needs.
"Do everything you can to fix your family. You can cry now but once you're done, pick up yourself and move forward. That's the only way you can live on without breaking down," she added before embracing her once more and allowing her to cry her heart out.
While she was hugging her tightly, she can't help but reminisce about the past when she comforted her as well. [ This is the first time that Xiaolian cried this much and exposed her most vulnerable side. ]
創作者的想法 
themilesaguanta
themilesaguanta Hi guys, if you want to find out the outfits Hou Wei Yan and some other characters are wearing, you can check out my new twitter account. I posted their outfit references there so you could imagine what they are wearing.
My new account is @tinelavine…don’t forget to follow me as well. I will post there the link of the Side-Dishes (the short stories of the characters so you could get to know them better). See you next, Sunday!
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