章節 104: Balloon
Ruslana
Lana spent the rest of the day walking around the city. She gave up sleeping after the departure of Greg and the children. For some reason, it seemed to her that even the next night she would toss and turn restlessly.
Even though not so much time passed since they began to live together, but the feeling of home, warmth, and comfort has already slipped into the soul so deep, that it was hard to imagine the world without it. It was so scary. As if suddenly, she will wake up one day, and this was actually just a dream, and around is still the same frightening life that she left behind. Drunk and angry Ralph, who was forcing her to shudder at every rustle and afraid to make an extra move.
Lana clenched her fists. No! She will no longer be like that. Even if it is a dream, waking up, she will know how to raise her head proudly and fight for her happiness. Cause now Lana experienced it, and know precisely well how sweet it can be. Once having a taste, it is impossible to go back. She would rather die! The same as right now she is ready to fight for this warmth to stay with her forever, even if the devil himself would stand in her way.
The image of his parents immediately appeared before the eyes. Ruslana didn't even know whom she was afraid of more - mother or father. Ian Winterburn was always cold and unemotional to absolutely everything. He perceived his children no more than a part of the interior. Even academic success or future plans were not significant enough topics for him to discuss. He always had only one plan - his own, and the opinion of all the others involved in it was of little concern to him.
Mom was not as cold as a father. She instead never found any time for her own children. The affairs of the pack have always come first. More than once, Lana watched with envy as Veronika Winterbourne with a warm smile was patting some baby on the head or praising someone's teenage daughter.
How did it happen that a mother could be so sweet and kind with others, but after had no strength for her own children? And even worse.
More than once, still quite a child, Lana, boiling with anger, would become as annoying as a fly. Asking questions, chasing the mother on the heels, escaping from the nannies and making her way to her office in all possible ways. At first, Veronica scolded the girl and sent her back to the nannies. But each time mom would become more and more irritated. And one day, it's all snapped.
Lana then decided to take the mother by ambush, leaving no choice but to pet a stubborn child. Once again, having escaped from her two nannies, the girl entered the mother's office and hid behind a curtain. Veronica at that moment apparently was preparing to go out in her bedroom. The girl had to wait for about fifteen minutes until finally the door to the office opened and the click-clack of heels on the parquet floor sound in the direction of the desk. Ruslana held her breath.
Apparently, the woman, as always, was deep in her thoughts, and therefore did not notice the presence of someone else's smell in the room. Lana felt her heart beating so loudly in her ears as if it was about to jump out. Finally, she heard the chair creaks and rustles of the paper on the table, showing that Veronica set at her desk and now shifts some documents.
With a sly smile, the girl took a deep breath and shouted: "Buuu!" Jumping out from behind the curtains and throwing herself at the mother. The woman shuddered and recoiled. But Lana was not an ordinary child and deftly grabbed her mother by the shoulders, hiding her contented, cheeky face on her chest. Veronika froze, and Lana was already waiting for her mom to start laughing now, just like the other mom she had seen with her daughter a week ago.
"You idiot!" - Veronica screamed, tearing her daughter's arms away from herself and throwing the girl aside. - "Just look what you did!"
The world in front of Ruslana seemed to sway. She looked in horror at the furious mother in whose hand a cup of coffee was squeezed, and the liquid from it already formed brown stains over her blouse and papers on the table. The girl realized that she was trembling only when she caught a glance on her own hand that was still stretched toward the mother. There was a strange hum in her head, making everything seems so unreal.
"I'm so sick of your stupidity! You never think with your head! Are you completely brainless ?! What should I do now? I have a meeting in half an hour, and the contract is spoiled, everything is ruined. Damn moron."
Lana wanted to cry so much, but tears stuck somewhere in her chest. And for some reason, it was very painful there, as if a metal thorn was stuck between her ribs.
At the screams of Mrs. Winterbourne, Patrick came running. Seeing the whole epic of the incident, he immediately called the servant from the corridor, and picked up Lana in his arms, carrying her out of the room, paying no attention to the screams of that woman.
"Patrick! Immediately bring her back here! She must be taught a lesson! She thinks she is some princess and she can do anything ?! Nothing like this! I will show this insolent fool her place!"
Ruslana did not hear anything after that. The ears rang louder, and tears flowed in an endless stream, wetting the butler's jacket.
Later, Patrick tried to explain everything to her.
"Mrs. Winterbourne did not mean to offend you at all. She is just very busy, and you scared her at the wrong moment. Sometimes it happens when adults are too nervous, they can just explode, like a balloon inflated too much."
Then Lana did not understand anything from Patrick's confused explanation. She could not accept herself the idea that other mothers could laugh with their children, hug them, kiss them. On the contrary, her mother was some kind of a balloon that can't be touched ever ...
Of course, when Nikki appeared and then Vicky, she understood a lot. More like felt it inside herself, what it feels like to be a balloon, which is about to burst. Strangely, the desire to scatter into pieces did not appear with Ralph, where she held herself in her hands. But next to the children, when they were mischievous, rested or disobeyed, sometimes Lana felt this insane desire to let go and explode as if letting out some crazy demon. It was good that every time it was enough to recall this simple event from childhood and the balloon immediately deflated, leaving an emptiness in its place.
On the main square, the construction of tents and tables for the fair was in full swing. Multicolored decorations flashed here and there, and the air already smelled of the celebration. Lana involuntarily smiled watching the enthusiasm with which the town dwellers worked all together to organize this festival. It was such a pity that the children and Greg are not with her now.
Suddenly the phone rang in the pocket.
Greg's number appeared on the Display.
" Hey?" - Lana answered. But for some reason, nobody responded from that side. Lana started to get nervous.
"Greg?" - she called already louder.
"I still can not get used to it." - Finally, a male voice sounded from the other side. Lana exhaled, Greg's voice was a little confused, but everything seemed to be fine.
"What?" - She asked puzzled.
"To this connection. Suddenly I felt so distressed, but everything seemed to be fine ... And then I realized that it was you. Why are you sad? Why didn't you call me right away?" - His voice was quiet and a bit sad, so Lana's heart sank for a second. She first wanted to come up with some kind of excuse, but something suggested that he would get everything out of her anyway.
"It's just some stupid nonsense. Old memories made me feel a little sad." - she admitted shyly.
"Tell me," - although his voice was soft, it immediately became clear that she wouldn't get away so easily. So Lana took a breath and poured it all on Greg. Having said everything out loud, suddenly this story seemed to Lana so childishly and stupid. She wanted to add something, but Greg interrupted.
"Do you know why we can often be cutting with our loved ones, explode like this, not thinking about the consequences, and say a lot of filth?" - He asked, confusing Lana with his question.
Meanwhile, Greg continued, feeling that she could not find the answer.
"The thing is that with our hearts we feel that our person will understand, forgive. We are not afraid to show even the ugliest side in front of them. Because if you take a person as your own, then you take his whole, with all the bad, good, ugly or sweet parts. Your mom subconsciously felt that you were her and she was yours, cause it meant to be so. Only with her head she never tried to understand you, this bond is not working if one of the ends is closed."
The heart sank again. Lana suddenly felt like that little girl, in whose head again and again only one word spun: "Why?"
"I just don't know how to act with her tomorrow. Brian said she changed. But ..."
"Are you afraid that she didn't regret it all? Won't apologize?"
" Quite the contrary. I am afraid that she will apologize. And that she really has changed. But I am still the same. And all those memories, can I get over it just like that?"- Lana said in a slightly shaky voice as if confessing it herself and not to him. For some reason, Greg chuckled at that moment.
"Yet it's not for nothing that they say that boys are always very similar to mothers. Honey, listen to me carefully. You do not have to accept her apologies. You can sulk, make trouble, tell her everything in the face. You do not need to forgive her now or ever. As well as our connection is not a chain at all, your blood ties to this woman do not oblige you to anything. And you can make a decision whenever you want. She stalled for more than thirty years, so you have the right to torture her a little, too. You can't rebuild a thing on regret, but you still have time to look at each other in a new way. Try it, maybe you will see something that you have not seen before. As a last resort, we can always push my mom and sister on her. We hide behind their backs and bet whos gonna survive this cats vs. she-wolf fight."
Lana laughed, picturing this image. And warmth stated to soak her from the inside again.
"I miss you," - she said softly, pressing her phone to the ear as if it were his hand.
"Maybe I should comfort you now and say that only half a day has passed, but ... I also miss you very much!"
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