章節 24: A Hand

A strange experience to lose out to his own food. The eggs had been devoured by Elya and Nikolai had received a paltry two out of ten for his efforts. Humming a song that Nikolai struggled to recognise, she wiped her hands with a floral handkerchief and undid her hair. Shaking it out, Elya placed the clip that held it into her mouth as she arranged it into a new style, slightly lopsided and falling over a shoulder. With a quick twist the clip was back on and Nikolai marvelled at how quickly she could change the impression she gave. Before she appeared stern and commanding, everything tight and to order, but now cracks appeared in the perfection.

In one word, she was adorable.

"Now that is satisfying Nikolai." She smiled widely and her scar turned it into a great big smirk.

"That's good. It's a great place to come away for a break."

"Yeah." She picked up the cushion and came to his side, settling down to stare at the town. "I still feel odd here if I'm honest. It's not like the army. Too civilised. But unlike the Suzdal manor, it's very relaxed."

"It's an odd place after all." Nikolai grinned and pointed towards the town. "It's a mix of all sorts of cultures. Fleeing Dragon Lords, stubborn farmers, hunters, dispossessed nobles even a few of the Illyri can be found skulking around. Yet somehow there's very little conflict, and that has very little to do with Imperial presence. It was like that long before I took over. It's like the people just cooperate, as if they don't know how to behave in any other way."

"That sounds nice. Better than anywhere I've ever been."

"Well it's not perfect." He clarified.

"People never are."

"True."

The wind swirled around them and they shivered a little. Elya glanced up at him, considering something. She took a deep breath like she'd come to a decision and in a quick motion scooted over until their shoulders touched. Nikolai felt a jolt pass through his arm at the contact and he shivered a little. Not because of the cold this time. Odd that her arm could be so slender, yet possess such overwhelming might.

"It's chilly." She said, blushing a little.

"Yeah."

"We used to sit next to each other like this for warmth in the army."

"Yeah."

"It's cold." She looked up at him, eyes flashing with a strange light.

"I could create a fire with magic." He offered, but winced when she scowled. She rolled her eyes and shivered exaggeratedly.

"Oh." He may not have much experience with women but he wasn't dumb enough to miss her point. Tentatively he put his arm around her and she huddled closer reaching out to grab his free hand. He silently praised the Fates for the gust of wind they had sent and rested his head on hers. His nose twitched as loose strands of hair tickled it, but for the first time in a long while he experienced complete relaxation.

At this moment nothing else mattered.

"Nikolai, thank you."

"For?"

"The meal. The companionship." She hesitated. "The engagement."

"I think most people would think I was getting the better part of this deal." Elya pinched his hand lightly in admonishment, but he ignored it. A rare playful gesture. Nikolai was finding the whole experience delightful. "I like cooking and sharing meals with people I care about. You'll be my wife soon and we should always get along."

He felt heat pass through him at calling Elya his wife and he glimpsed her cheeks flush a deeper crimson as well.

She cleared her throat and squeezed his hand. "Well. Yes. Still. Thank you Nikolai."

"Anytime."

She gripped his hand tightly and looked up. "Nikolai." She breathed, eyes shining with unshed tears and his heart froze. Had he done something wrong? "Thank you for Galicia."

"You were there?" He twitched, expression turning to stone. What a dumb question. Only someone who'd survived would thank him. She nodded anyway.

He swallowed through the dryness in his mouth, recalling the day an initiate War Mage had been forced to take charge of an army as his colleagues burst into flame and horrors poured into their camps, a vanguard for tens of thousands of screaming barbarians.

It was the day he placed down the greatest spell formation the Empire had seen in decades, harried and alone, soldiers falling around him at every step.

It was the day an innocent young man sacrificed thousands so he could turn an invading army and dozens of Master Mages into dust.

It was the day an Emperor would turn his attention to a newly minted hero.

He breathed deeply and glanced at Elya. Her eyes were shut and Nikolai thought she slept, but small shifts in her breathing indicated otherwise. There was so much he wanted to know. Not about Galicia. That was better left buried, but did that mean she was approaching him out of gratitude?

Was there more that she feared to say, like him?

Where were they meant to go from here?

He sighed and stared at their hands tightly wound together

'Are you alright with this marriage?' he wanted to ask.

Nikolai was dubious, his obvious attraction to her aside. There was more to a marriage than physical attraction, especially with the implied ties that would bind him to House Suzdal. Yet there was a certainty that they could live together in harmony. More so now that she lay in his arms. There was a calm confidence about her that soothed him. He hadn't experienced it since he left home as a child to follow Master Etenani. Things had changed at home when he returned, his parents saw a man at the side of the Emperor as much as they saw a son.

Watching her gazing into the distance, her hand resting within his, was something he had never expected, yet it felt right.

She hadn't said it, but there was an iron will in her stance. She would always be a Suzdal somewhere deep inside because unlike his mother she had a place to return to.

A home.

In a way none of it mattered and Nikolai grinned softly, thinking what a fool he was.

He wasn't sure if he fell in love, but he was definitely smitten. It might be a small difference, yet it meant that he wasn't so far gone that he would blurt out things. It would only be a matter of time though, she was too charming,

He didn't ask though.

If he did something would break.

Truths would have to be revealed.

Dangers shared.

Forget the dangers, she would have to face the consequences of his actions.

Life wasn't easy and in following the Emperor he had restricted the choices that lay available to him. He served as a weapon for the Empire, bound with unbreakable chains in servitude for the greater good. She would be dragged in, eventually. Nikolai wasn't naïve enough to think that the Son of Heaven would leave someone so skilled and close to him alone. But for the moment he wanted to be alone with her, forgetting what could be and hoping that she would never have to face the same choices.

Only one of them should have a terrifying nom de guerre like 'The Butcher of Galicia'.