章節 144: Christmas Gift Giving Extra
Hello hello~
As a special Christmas gift to the loyal fans on discord this Author God had prepared a small Christmas event where fans can gift presents to the characters! Here are a few presents that had been given to the characters. Not all of them are here ah~ If you wish to see more go find the discord! :3
(Please turn on your paragraph comments as some presents may come with photos)
Jia Hyson: Oooh Christmas presents from the fans~ how exciting~
Bebe: Bebe doesn't know…Bebe feels an uncomfortable sense of foreboding…
___
To: Bebe, From: @LittleBlueLake
Message: As the author god I feel like I've really worked you hard throughout the story Bebe. You are hard to crack and always shining in the story, much like a diamond in my opinion. I hope this gift will fully show my appreciation for you. Merry Christmas.
Present: A pair of Black Diamond stingrays (11,000$)
…
Bebe: What. The. Fuck.
Bebe: You fucking spicy chicken Author God, Bebe cannot believe I was moved by your message full of sweet lies, what is Bebe supposed to do with these stingrays??? WHY ARE THEY SO EXPENSIVE!!
Jia Hyson: …Bebe are you okay?
Bebe: BEBE CANNOT HANDLE THIS RESPONSIBILITY!!!! AHHHHHH!!!
___
To: Jia Hyson From: @LittleBlueLake
Message: This is the publicity fees. Your welcome and Merry Christmas. Regards, Author God.
Present: Bill for publicity fees (11,000$ fee)
….
Jia Hyson: …
Jia Hyson: ….this fucking money hungry single dog Author God deserves to be poor.
Bebe: Oof.
Jia Hyson: Hey Bebe…
Bebe: No.
Jia Hyson: Bebe. Please. I don't have 11,000$ and I think Author God is taking out her lack of profit on me eVEN THOUGH ITS HER FAULT TO BEGIN WITH.
Author God Little Blue Lake in distance: Shhhhhhhhut your face hole.
Bebe: I'm not selling Santa and Maria.
Jia Hyson: Fuck you named them already?! What happened to you weren't ready for the responsibility?!
Bebe: Bebe isn't ready for it before but Bebe downloaded an app and now Bebe has gained [Maternal Instinct level 1].
Jia Hyson: …
Jia Hyson: F
____
To: Jia Hyson and Bebe, From: @Punpun
Message: you guys haven't forgotten your civic duties as upstanding citizens right? Have you kept all the receipts of points earned and spent? No matter your answer, here's a friendly reminder that getting pursued by your tax agency is never fun.
Present: inter-dimensional tax report forms, complete with specific instructions on how to fill them up and where and how to send.
…
Jia Hyson and Bebe: ...
Jia Hyson: Is it cold in here?
Bebe: Bebe definitely feels the chill in Bebe's heart.
Jia Hyson: Great let's warm up then.
*Throws papers in fire*
____
To: Da Gong, From: @Yare Yare (Arashi)
Message: Look bro, I may not really like you much but I gotta say this man.
Bro, your kids. . . They're not really your kids.
I- I got some papers here to prove that they have no Rooster chicken DNA.
Um, Merry Christmas man.
Present: DNA results from the 3 mice, Jin Bao and Da Gong.
…
Bebe: …There seems to be a strong trend in people giving us documents here.
Da Gong: …
Da Gong: rips paper in shreds
Da Gong: If my little worm says left is right, then it is right. If my little worm says we have children we have children. Even if they are not really made from my blood, they are still a symbol of our love.
Jia Hyson: Fuck my heart
Bebe: Talk about henpecked amiright? (badum-tsh)
____
To: Jia Hyson, From: @babymew
Message: JH my man, mah boy I feel close to you spiritually so I wanted to gib u a present ah .
Warning: You may not share or show this present with anyone but the author god (she already has this but still).
The heart is a sentient being so carefulllll.
Present : A precious piece of my heart 💙(don't try to gib it to someone else it will eat you if you do)
…
Jia Hyson: Awwwww this fan is so nice~
Jia Hyson: (proceeds to roast and eat the heart)
_____
To: Bebe, From: @EzriiSchü
Message: I believe you are the only one who should be flipping table's so from this respectful fan, I give you this.
small bow as people roll in product
Present: Automatic Table flipper/cleaner (To be used under supervision, do not let around unattended, children [or an immature Jia Hyson], can be resold for extra spending points 😉)
…
Bebe: Finally, a nice and practical present. Thank you Ez.
Jia Hyson: Um wtf does she mean by saying I shouldn't use this unattended??
Bebe: Well what was your first reaction when you realised what the present was?
Jia Hyson: …
Jia Hyson, whispering: You could flip my table anytime.
Bebe: …what does that even mean?
Drake: I got it 😏
Sefu: Same 😏
Monroe, Tian Shun, Li Guiren, and Da Gong, who didn't get it: …ಥ_ಥ
____
To: Bebe, From: @Bebe (BB)
Message:Bebe I love you ah! It was love at first sight! I can't go on about a day thinking of you. You were my light in the darkest of days! Even though you don't have a face, I used Jia Hysons face to think it was you. Just by thinking about Jia Hysons face I am getting hard…
Bebe, leave Li jun and come to me. I really want to sleep with you…
Merry Christmas Bebe!
It's not a merry Christmas for me, since you are not by my side...but if you say yes i will be happy UwU~
Present: Condom XXL SIZE (sleep with me, you can even personally put the present on my di-)
PS: send your thanks to the author of all the world's OwO😳
…
Bebe: …
Jia Hyson: Oh. Nice.
Bebe: How is it nice?
Jia Hyson: It's your first sexually aggressive stalker. That's always a milestone ah.
Jia Hyson: …the my face on your face thing is kinda disturbing though ngl.
Bebe: Bebe is calling the discord police. This perv is gonna go straight to horny jail.
Overlord Li Jun: Already on it :3
Discord police: For trying to reverse loli (loli topping/dominating older person) someone and writing sexually harassing notes @Bb will get the tag reverse loli harassment as punishment.
_____
To: Bebe, From: @Castdaph
Message: Dear Bebe, I have noticed that you are very bitter when it comes to any sexual matters. I have always wondered why, but finally I realized 😳
Ever since you mentioned Li Jun being full of 11111s, I have known in the back of my head. Only now have I placed all the pieces together. I will make it short because I could go on forever. Here you go mate, I hope you feel better soon.
Present: a pack of Viagra pills
…
Bebe: …I hate these fans
Jia Hyson: I know right, only four tablets? Fucking stingy this person is.
Bebe: ….is this hell?
____
To: Li Guiren, From: @punpun
Message: what the hell of a second lead syndrome you've suffered from!! It's almost too painful to watch!!! You had so many things set up for you, by you ended up losing to your son... It really was a pitiful sight, ah.
Maybe with this you'll finally be able to touch your childhood sweetheart in a meaningful way?
Present: a stack of yang-suppressing seals, with another slip of paper on the side. It might be the fine print detailing the possible side effects, but the font size really is too small to be legible. You think you saw "death" somewhere in the words, but you aren't sure because the fine print wasn't meant to be read.
….
Li Guiren, reading the message: ….wu
Li Guiren: Wuwuwu finally somebody cares! Thank you punpun you kind child.
Bebe: Does this count as bribing an officer of the law?
Jia Hyson: Is nobody worried about the fine print?
Li Guiren: What fine print?
Tian Shun with white out: Hehe
_____
To: Little Blue Lake (author god), From: @2F.45.52.52.4F.52.2F.0.hex (hex)
Message: Author God, you're my favorite character in the book despite only making an appearance in the 4th wall breaks. I'm such a huge fan! You're so amazing to have created the whole of BtBaB!! Author God, you're the best! I hope all your wishes come true and you deserve the best!!
Present: Infinite Wishes and Motivation Injections
…
Jia Hyson: You fucking suck up. ,,UwU,,
Bebe: Simp.
Author God Little Blue Lake: (」,,,> ロ <,,)」♡ ♡ Shut up guys don't be mean to my cute fan~
Jia Hyson: You shut up, where am I going to get 11,000$ for the publicity fees huh? Like what bullshit Christmas gift is that? It's not my fault you don't make money.
Author God Little Blue Lake: Hmmm… if I'm not making anything maybe I should just switch the main character for a cute fan instead, and see how much money I can make anyway ah.
Jia Hyson: …
Jia Hyson, kneels down and holds thighs: Daddy don't leave me.
_____
To: Bebe, From: @nobody
Message: Hi bebe, Merry Christmas! I really like your personality and bickers with JH. As I don't know what to give you, I asked a system from another universe and this is what they suggested.
I find it really suitable for you!
Present: An overlord which I gifted a bulky body 10ft tall, and a physical body of a loli for you! Ah, also here's some insurance for ass injury, can't be transferred! Data bound! Hehe, are you worried Li Jun won't use it? Dw, both of you will explode and data eradicated if you don't use it to have a
S*x within 24hours! Aren't I nice, I even think of how you get him to bed!
…
Bebe, reading message: Awww thank you kind fan. Your so sweet.
Bebe, opening present: …Your fucking dead to Bebe.
Overlord Li Jun hiding in a corner: Don't worry I got your back @nobody!
Jia Hyson: …Why are you hiding?
Overlord Li Jun: I need to get this present giver's back first to protect my own.
_____
To Jia Hyson, From @Immortal tree
Present: Free medical diagnoses.
Result: Extreme horny
Prescription: Kidney nourishing pills and a s*x doll
…
Jia Hyson: …
Jia Hyson: ….
Jia Hyson: ....so about that sex doll-
Bebe, setting it on fire: Nope.
___________
Jia Hyson: Well. That was… *looks at debt, various paperwork, and a burnt sex doll among other things*
Bebe: … *looks at stingrays, viagra pills and a lot of other things that probably could only be used for laser cannon practice*
Jia Hyson: ....
Bebe: ....
Jia Hyson and Bebe: Merry Christmas and happy holidays everyone! Wishing you all better presents then ours~!
Thank you for all the love and support my lovely (sadistic) fans! Each comment, review, gift and ko-fi means so much to me. This year was tough for me but your support really did a lot for me ah. So yeah. Love you guys. Platonically. (Tho we can be a bit more if you give me enough money :3)
Jia Hyson: Wow, even I'm not that shameless.
LittleBlueLake: Shut up person that owes me $11,000. (ꐦ ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )
Jia Hyson: ლಠ益ಠ)ლ
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