Thank you so much. :)
Thanks for the very detailed and critical review. Helps me a lot. I will go back and check the chapters for the grammatical errors again. no....i don't have a name generator. trying to come up with them from my imagination, and it is really very hard work :))
Thanks for the very detailed and critical review. Helps me a lot. I will go back and check the chapters for the grammatical errors again. no....i don't have a name generator. trying to come up with them from my imagination, and it is really very hard work :))
You could try breaking down the paragraphs. Too many lines visually seem a lot for a reader. Also, there are a lot of different situations taking place in one chapter. Try separating the different segments with a line or something. For the reader it will become clearer, otherwise I was a bit confused when I read from one segment to another and suddenly couldn't connect. But really good start.
The FL is pretty feisty, works hard and does exactly what she decides. Loved the way she just kicked all party-goers out of the house. The three kids of the benefactors have very clear personalities, and the relation between the FL and each of them is well portrayed. Very good work.
Will completely ignore the minor grammatical errors, since I found this to be a beautiful piece of writing. The frustrations and helplessness of the FL comes out so clearly through the various real and dream situations. The different relations and personal chemistry of the FL with different characters is well portrayed. Very good work.
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The detailing of the world is very good. Also the different characters and the different professions which might exist in such a world. A very good piece of work.
I personally find the detailing a bit too heavy, but love the storyline. the characters are well defined, and sequences well spaced. would love to see more chapters. Good work.
The story is very hardcore and gripping right from the beginning. in a post apocalyptic world, how people survive and live on from day-to-day is very well written, also giving space to their emotions and frustrations. Very good work.
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original THE RISE OF THE FORGOTTEN GODS
4.5
An average girl, with average intelligence, and a very laid back, happy-go-lucky attitude towards life, suddenly dies an unpredictable death.....and finds herself in another world! Transmigration?......Seriously?! Trapped inside the body of a 10 year old girl, Rihanna wakes up to a world beyond her comprehension. A world with two suns and three moons. A world where both beasts and humans can use elemental powers, defying her understanding of physics, and call it cultivation. And a world which she has to face all alone, since the original owner of the body forgot to leave her memories behind! Despite being a commoner, with no spirit roots, Rihanna discovers that she can cultivate.....albeit not in the same way as the other beings of this world. And trying to experiment with this new found discovery, she embarks on a journey through the vast lands of this new world, collecting friends as she adventures on, trying to understand the history, geography, mesh of political intricacies between the different countries, and the various elemental powers and cultivation techniques. But the more she delves into this world, she keeps finding a strange connection between the current world, and something which happened over a million years ago. What happened in the distant past, which still affects the world today? Was her transmigration a fantastical coincidence, or is it connected to an age old prophesy? And most importantly....who the hell is that cold, frigid fellow, who rules over the largest underworld organization of this world? Why does he treat her so warmly?.....And why does she keep feeling she is very familiar with him?!181 Chs 35 sưu tầm
Thank you for the great review. :)
THE RISE OF THE FORGOTTEN GODS
Fantasy · DaoistNotAvilable