I really like the story and it has a lot of potential but I think you are putting too much focus on certain aspects to the point that it feels like the story isn't advancing. At the start it was fine and I found it novel but lately I can't help but jump from paragraph to paragraph. I understand that these are the early chapters and that you need to lay the ground for the future storytelling but it has come to the point where it doesn't feel like a Genshin fanfic. Yeah, he has encountered the Fatui a few times but if you replace them with any other random villain group it wouldn't make a difference. Moreover, sometimes the gacha recompenses and the system in general feels useless because until now he has only ever used a couple of them. Even then, they could have been replaced with in world alternatives. The character of the automaton could have been replaced by Faruzan or anyone else for that matter. The alchemy notes could have been replaced for Albedo's notes that somehow ended up in there and that could have been useful for a future connection or story line related to him, Alice's notes could have also been a good alternative too. I just feel that you are not exploring Teyvat enough.
Yeah, I think that is less of a woman's intuition and more like they have the whole house full of spying devices
'Woman's intuition huh'. Alex thought replied with a smile, feeling much better.
Gold Experience(GER) in DC
Anime & Comics · Hancock_Sama
That's not acupuncture, that's magic
He quickly moved behind another one as he used the acupunctures to make the goon enter a semi hypnotic state.
Gold Experience(GER) in DC
Anime & Comics · Hancock_Sama
Another filler chapter that could have been resumed in a few lines. It's very bothersome when the characters just say a phrase or two and the rest of the chapter is an info dump. This has been happening too much lately. It's not worth the hassle. Good luck
A complete chapter just to tells us that he bid 500.000 and that the audience did not like that. All of this could have been resumed in two lines
50 chapters and nothing has really happened. All of it could have been shortened to 10 and there would have been no difference. You focus too much on details
I've been thinking this for a while but all conversations feel inorganic. It just makes me think "that is not how normal people talk", idk
It’s pretty misleading putting the reincarnation and transmigration tag. He gets some memories from the future, and absolutely nothing changes within him. He is like, ‘cool,’ and moves on. I kept reading in hopes that it would be used in any way, but that did not happen. Moreover, a lot of situations and inside the story feel disposable, as though they contribute nothing to it. If you cut those chapters in half, it would stay the same. There has been no interesting or intriguing development that would entice me to read more. As a reader, I hoped for a more meaningful development.
The drawing is pretty good and the character design is good too. However, story wise it couldn't be more average. It's one of those Mary Sue CEO falls in love with a female MC, just marketed towards guys. I understand that the appeal of these kinds of stories is that everyone falls in love with the MC but was it really necessary to make every female character so creepy? If guys really acted the way they portray girls in this novel, they would have received several jail sentences. Moreover, every corporation in this world seems to have Intel gathering skills comparable to governments, all wasted on finding this average guy that is just a little cute. Like, imagine the CEO of YouTube or Twitch contacting a random guy to make a contract with them just because they saw a picture of them online and they were pretty. Not only that but this novel collects Chinese novels cliches like they are awards, it has every single one of them. Sorry for ranting but I need to get it out of my system. It's not that bad, just don't expect too much. If you start thinking, you will end up as frustrated with this novel as me.
However, genuine interactions like the one he had with Neuvillete were amazing. I feel like that is my favorite part of this story. You could have made it played out as it was, without the need to tells us what the characters are thinking though. I feel like sometimes leaving some room for the reader's interpretation helps the story feels alive. I just feel like you need to make the system a plot device for exploring Teyvat and its characters more. For example, in one of his gacha draws he could obtain one of Furina's or Navia's precious objects, making him feel bad so he has to give it back. You could use that as an excuse for the MC to interact with them. After all, the only really important character from Genshin he has met is Neuvillete
Genshin Impact: Reborn Engineer
Video Games · Paradoxxed