Mr_no

really happy for you that you're improving you're being a little silly no matter how good the later chapters are if people cannot push through the early chapters to get to them then might as well not even exist so of course you're going to get the same criticisms all I can say is if you want up to date reviews and criticisms you'll have to start a new book

I think I see where your problem lies you're thinking of them as characters not as real people when you think of them as real people you realize she had 12 years to think about this 12 years to plan either for a normal mortal life or for exciting and dangerous life of a cultivator so that statement runs contrary to what you are trying to say then suddenly grade five Spirit root which would have normally led to plan two of the cultivator on easy mode due to the grade five Spirit group but due to the system all 12 years of planning for both possibilities just got thrown in the garbage not to mention she's going through puberty so the hormones should make this 10 times worse if you want to be the best author you can be you have to think of them as real people and a real person in her position had 12 years not just the few days you wrote

the amount of anger the main character shows from the system is super unrealistic the main character so far as shown now ambition to be the strongest so her losing a level 5 ice Spirit route which she could have used to get to a comfortable level and do everything she ever wanted just gets taken away and was given the system instead which would be okay if she showed any ambition to be the strongest but she did not so now she has to do something she really really doesn't want to do for a really long time for a comparable level of what you wanted from her perspective not even close to a fair trade and yet she's only really angry for an hour or so and then quickly accept it makes no sense I should have lasted days she should have tried to negotiate with the system to lose the system but regain her spirit root why doesn't other things she should have tried a lot harder change something and that's not even to mention how absurdly fast they accepted having to give birth multiple times a straight woman who wants many kids would have more hesitation than the main character did and the main character supposedly only likes women and doesn't want any kids any one of these things should have taken days if not months to get over not to mention both of them combined she should have tried for so very much longer but nope one or two hours to accept both of these from her perspective absolutely horrible things

big fan of his author's work I already know it's going to be five stars

all of the ----------------------- makes it completely impossible to enjoy this book when reading it through text speech you'll have a couple sentences and suddenly two and a half minutes after robotic voice screaming minus for each and every one of those subtraction symbols author if you ever move all of that from all of the chapters I will try to read your book again and give it another review

this story is decent but I simply can't take it seriously the main character's name is Jake whenever someone says his name I can only ever think of Jake from State Farm