Some sentences need a coma?
Honestly, I made this review so that people like me wouldn't be provoked into reading it and making lots of savage comments that would give you a headache in the chapters of your novel. Sure, I fantasize about your future MC, but isn't that part of reading novels? You know how awful it is to read so much until it's finally dropped in utter disappointment? There are quite a lot of examples like that. It's good that it's free, you're generous, and being able to reply to comments is better than some writers who don't give feedback at all, to complaints or criticism about the way they write. But you have a point, it's only in chapter 1, readers should be able to determine what they like or not. After all, reading 1 chapter isn't much time. I didn't expect you to change the chapter just because of my comment... Maybe thanks? And let me repeat. I don't care if MCs in the past did netori or got netorare. I only care about the MC's response to an incident that happened to him.
I don't mind if in the past, MC was betrayed. But, after all, the past is what shapes the present. And I really don't like MC's attitude. MC has been betrayed by his woman, but he happily accepts when his woman is with someone else. That sounds adult, but it's pretty disgusting. It's okay if the MC then doesn't care about the life of his woman and her partner. But, that's how MC is, he's still curious and seems to still have feelings for the woman who betrayed him. With MC's personality, in the future, there is a possibility that MC will do the same if some of his women betray him, either for reasons like 'She is his half-sister'.
Furthermore, another man managed to kiss and grope Mc's doll before MC.
Where's space?
Just warning, this novel contains netori and netorare. It's in the first chapter. I don't know why the writer not add netori and netorare tags in the synopsis.
Soo.. netorare and netori. MC get betrayed and happy about it. Hmm maybe, maybe he would have done the same if his two sisters had done it. He will, just happy.
In fact, I'm sure its speed will still be inferior to Pikachu.
Correct. I think it's really a waste. Better if used for Pikachu or Pidgeotto. There is very little chance of getting this prize because it is random. If this is the case, it is certain that Bulbasaur will not evolve, sacrificing great strength and defense just for speed. In the future, Bulbasaur will need to expend a lot of stamina to defeat a pokemon as big as Dragonite. Bulbasaur had to train extra hard to compensate for his lack of strength.
Well, it wouldn't be wrong if you said I cared about it. But that's because of a condition. The condition I mean is the MC's attitude towards what he experienced. Plus, I've read a few novels with pasts where the MC was hit by NTR, and I didn't have a problem with that. Well, anyway. OK, I'll reread it. It's been busy lately.
FTWD Shattered World
TV · Bobainox