so just from the first paragraph you might try to add less commas. The only reason I say this is because I use the audio version a lot and commas are longer pause than a period. when you have a pause every 4 words it makes it difficult to focus.
they are in his spirit ring
Without another word, Eila led Kent to the majestic bird. The crowd watched in stunned silence as she mounted the creature, Kent following closely. The bird's wings unfurled, and with a powerful beat, it lifted off the ground, soaring into the sky. The air shimmered with the brilliance of its departure, the crowd left in a state of stunned awe.
SUPREME ARCH-MAGUS
Fantasy · PeterPan
Kent kind of forgot about poor tata
exactly lol big headed dummies
Maya's face contorted with rage. "No! This can't be happening! Those herbs were supposed to be ours!"
SUPREME ARCH-MAGUS
Fantasy · PeterPan
ahh.... well they gonna pay
The forest echoed with the pained cries of Tata Lan and the feral growls of Kent's pets. Strapped to a towering tree with enchanted vines, Tata Lan was subjected to a relentless barrage of spells and potions designed to break her spirit and extract information.
SUPREME ARCH-MAGUS
Fantasy · PeterPan
it's a war chariot he can on prob command it but meh idk
The throne spirit smiled proudly at his question. "Master, this is not just a throne; it is a war chariot. It can transform into different forms as you wish. With your thoughts, you can control this throne to move in any direction.
SUPREME ARCH-MAGUS
Fantasy · PeterPan
you should go with shortstack lol
This young man was Kent, his expression focused and unwavering. Beside him, a petite lolly with an air of quiet determination stuck close, her large eyes alert to their surroundings. Tata Lan, with her youthful appearance and doll-like features, moved silently, her steps almost mirroring Kent's
SUPREME ARCH-MAGUS
Fantasy · PeterPan
basic ones not enchanted like these
They made their way through the underground, carefully selecting items that would aid Kent in the inheritance. Kent picked up a bag of superior mana stones, spending them like normal rocks. He also found a set of enchanted combat robes, designed to bolster his defense and agility.
SUPREME ARCH-MAGUS
Fantasy · PeterPan
she a fake loli said she was 18
With her chubby face, pumped-up chest, and short height, the girl appeared like a default lolly. Beside her chubby face, the girl is very beautiful, with a unique charm and an alluring lower body.
SUPREME ARCH-MAGUS
Fantasy · PeterPan
it will however allow him to rank up his skills and possibly fight enemies to the death for combat experience so not nothing.
Note: Actions performed in the Training Field will not affect your status or count towards completing training tasks.]
Warrior Training System
Action · J_a_zzy