kiddeath1998

I wont kind of like a cliff notes version of it like half a chapter where it's like right after the left he left the clan he did this this and this which resulted in this this and half a chapter later that continues on if you're actually going to do it because I don't mind like background story especially when some of the stuff is so open ended

I think the main reason why I don't like this story is just I don't like the way it's being towed like there is this first person perspective third person perspective I'm not 100% sure what perspective it's in but whatever it is in I don't like it. That's just my personal preference. Another thing is like the way people talk to each other seems pretty good but then every once in awhile like every other chapter is just some weird very cringe-worthy stuff being said like the main character talks about how he's willing and ready to face the future with his friends and I'm kind of rolling my eyes , also it kind of made me cringe when he start doing like Jedi sword moves in front of every single person that was there when he says I kind of have like Jedi powers and he starts swinging a sword I was just like really, kind of took me out of that scene. and then there are some parts that as I said almost felt unnecessary like there's this part where him and Rogue are running or jogging or something and he's like man I remember we were here for only like 2 months and Rogue has gotten a lot faster since then I was just like..ok.. it's kind of odd for the reader? Not to mention I don't dislike it but can't say I really care that much about it either. Then there's other parts that I really like were like how Rogue in his relationship I think is done really well. but yeah to sum it up I guess I really just didn't like the perspective that's my main criticism it just feels like the main character is like talking in his head constantly and hes kind of like, detached from the stuff that he's doing giving us this introspective of everything going on around him and what he's thinking and it's a little much. it was like he wakes up ties his shoe brush his teeth then goes into the lunchroom looks at the lunch eggs and bacon put some toast in his mouth ate it it's like was all of this that necessary to say did I have to read all that again I don't know what to think about that scene I just know I don't like it seems off to me and maybe that's my personal preference I'm not sure we're just something feels off I'm not like a writer I can't like perfectly descript how I'm feeling about that

not really

not the best grammar but overall it's readable

all right I'm now 21 chapters in and I can confidently say I don't think I like the writing style at first I thought it was kind of weird like everything was like oddly detailed in certain areas and then after a while I was like I'll probably get used to it and I have it also 21 chapters in and I'm bored usually I would have dropped it at around chapter 10 but that was like it has to be something more