This story is dope, I love it! Main char is such a fun guy :D
Doesn't she have white hair..?
The Farseer's head snapped up, her eyes narrowing in surprise. Greybrand held her breath, bracing for a psychic attack. But then, just as quickly, the Farseer's focus returned to the blade, her voice resuming its monotonous narration. Greybrand swore that if she heard the Xeno bitch talk about her great-great-grandmother one more time, she would strangle the Aeldari with her own lustrous black hair!
Inquisitor's Gambit: The Greybrand Saga (Warhammer 40K)
Video Games · EchoingDusk
I sincerely doubt he would "light up in excitement" or roll his eyes with the amount of blood loss and pain he's going through..
Really? I'm having the opposite issue, all MC's eventually just turn into asshole murderhobos. Antihero is fine, but please don't make the MC an asshole.
Yee nah, this is freaking hard to read. Use Grammarly or something, please. For now, it's a pass.
Your grammar is very, very good so no worries about that.
It's not just that. The fact that she immediately blushes from rando compliments from a mage... A very experienced charm user and cold hearted killer blush at a compliment on the very first meeting? And not choosing to run when said mage uses her SCP identification number as well? It don't make no lick of sense my dawg.
I'd be happy as long as MC doesn't turn out as a generic murderhobo villain. I'm so tired of villainous leads.
Why would you change it? It's dope so far, your writing is great.
unfortunate, it was actually quite a fun read with good grammar which is a rarity on this awful site. guess we'll see you.. never? authors rarely return when they do stuff like this. i wish you luck on your future endeavors.
Inquisitor's Gambit: The Greybrand Saga (Warhammer 40K)
Video Games · EchoingDusk