Chương 3: 0|3 : Am I Supposed To Care
Running out of the lab with Pikachu on his shoulder, Ash was excited to leave once again out on a journey to a place unknown to others. But this 'excitement' had come to an abrupt end at Oak's reminder. He'd have to stop by his home and tell his mother, Delia.
The thought of his mother putting on the act of the year, trying to guilt-trip and pressure him into staying with her for a while, completely souring his mood.
He loved her and all, however; she was always stuck in the past. Once she had even thought him to be 'her' husband before quickly realizing it had been him, yeah it wasn't her husband she was seeing in him. Her neediness despite secretly having a boyfriend was annoying. Especially when said person checked up on him to make sure he was safe, unlike his own mother.
Not that it mattered much to him since more often than not, he'd be absent. Still, as these thoughts reached him, his pace slowed til it stopped.
"Pika pi?"
Pikachu licked his ear, noticing something was wrong. Ash giggled at the ticklish feeling, "Hehe, I'm okay Pikachu..."
Looking at the cloudy dark sky and the drizzling rain, Ash took off his hat and placed it on his partner's head. "I don't want you getting a cold now, do I."
"Pika pi!"
"Yeah, don't worry, I'll be fine. Though I have a feeling that something bad is going to happen."
Expressing his thoughts, he quickly cleared his mind and started toward their destination. It didn't even take two minutes before they arrived at his home. But even from the outside he feels the solemn air within the house.
Ignoring it, he placed an overjoyed grin on his face and filled his eyes with excitement. Reaching for the door's handle, he went over the words in his head. I got second place in the League, but Diantha invited me to a training camp run by her. I'll be gone for a few years, but I'll call you on occasions. Of course, that was a lie.
It was a perfectly good excuse, though. His mother wouldn't suspect a thing, as she normally didn't pay him much attention.
Prepared to push the door open, he was startled as he heard familiar voices inside arguing.
"You have no right to tell him to give up! He got second place and if you hadn't noticed Alain is two years older than him!"
"Sawyer, give it up. Stop fighting us on this, he's lost six leagues now!"
"Shut up Brock, out of everyone here I thought you would know better than anyone how much he's sacrificed so that he can help all of you jerks reach your own goals!"
"Your right, I know, which is why I'm not saying he should give up! But he needs to take a break! He hasn't rested for a moment. He has great talent and his love for Pokémon is strong. Both of which are perfect for a gym leader. I won't ask him to give up, but he needs to relax for a year or two."
"You know nothing than if you think just being a gym leader can satisfy talent like that!"
A loud groan, Ash was familiar with as Brock's sounded. "Sawyer, you're not listening to—" he was interrupted though.
Misty groaned in annoyance, "Sawyer, if you're going to fight us on this then you should just leave." Ash held back a groan of his own at her voice. Misty was a mediocre trainer when he met her, just a bit better than him. Yet, she despite being only a year older acted high and mighty, lashing out with a hot-temper.
"I won't! I won't let you do this to him!" Sawyer's words were a borderline scream.
"Why do you defend him? He's such a kid, always whining when something goes wrong." Iris's voice sounded the same childish tone in it as he had grown used to. He didn't particularly blame her. Others easily influenced her with their headstrong opinions, like Misty and May. She'd make an amazing trainer one day, possibly a Champion if she worked hard. Despite this, she was definitely one of his most exhausting companions.
"No kidding." The snotty voice of May was like nails on a chalkboard to Ash's ears, likely Brock's as well. "If it wasn't for Ash, holding me back, me and Dawn would likely have won every contest and crowned queens!"
"Yeah, right May, you sucked at contests." Drew's spoke, his voice filled with ridicule. "If it wasn't for Ash helping you, I'm sure you'd have failed."
The immature voice of Max sounded as well, "Drew's right. Hate to break it to you, sister, but even Ash got a better score than you on his first contest."
A quiet, insecure but still firm voice spoke, "Face it, May. We wouldn't have gotten very far if not for Ash." Dawn's voice was quiet, different from the usual confident and firmness Ash was used to. He realized abruptly it was likely because of the other girls bearing down on her. "Ash helped me through every challenge and even put his gym battles and training aside to help me out."
A pause sounded, but her voice returned with much more firmness and confidence. Contempt laced her words, "Stop complaining about it when it has nothing to do with your failure."
Following her words, a monotone voice filled with scorn made itself known. "It seems as if you've all forgotten that the past few Leagues Ash has been in, he's had to go against Legendaries. Despite this, unlike you guys, Ash puts his all into each battle no matter the opponent, willing to grow and learn from his mistakes."
A soft-spoken and emotional voice ended the conversation. "Sawyer, Drew, Max, Dawn, and Paul. I understand that you're my baby's friends, but he's constantly away, leaving me alone. These years of loneliness are wearing down on me. If he continues to leave then, I'll have no choice but to-"
Ash snorted loudly at the last voice. Likely startling everyone inside. He of course recognized all the voices, even if he didn't want to he would be stupid if he couldn't after spending a year or sometimes even more with each of them. They surprised him with their words. Not the contents, but the emotions and underlying message behind each of them.
Acting fast to cover for his snort, the door pushed open as he acted like he just arrived. Joy erupted on his face with a bright smile, as though he had the best news in the world. None of it reached his eyes, however.
"Mom! I'm home!" He called out, taking off his backpack and setting it by the door. "You wouldn't believe what happened!—What? Wait, why are you guys here? Did you guys already hear the news?"
Though he acted 'confused' and 'surprised' like he didn't notice, Ash was acutely aware of the stiffness in the air as he walked in. On his shoulder, Pikachu's eyes were widened in surprise while he followed along.
"Pika?"
Hearing his voice, his mother peeked over the corner of the kitchen, a strained smile appeared on her face. "Ah. Welcome home sweetie, why don't you come sit down? We need to talk."
He paused, making his confusion more prominent at her serious tone, but nodded, walking over. He stopped before the island counter, however, not bothering to pull out a chair (not that she noticed as she was looking at him), "Ash, you see love, I think it's about time you give up on your dream," She paused gesturing to everyone not bothering to exclude those who fought them, "we all do. And I…"
She let out a light sob, bringing her hands to softly hold his own, "Your mother has been feeling very lonely. I've had a hard time lately, sickly really. I miss having you here dear, I need someone to keep me company other than Mr. Mime."
His eyebrow twitched at her words. But he had after all been raised by this woman: his acting skills were on par with hers when he wanted them to be. He made his smile smaller, knitting his brows softly as if troubled. He voiced his apologies, guilt and reluctance in his tone, "I-… I'm sorry mom. I should've noticed that… but…" He paused, looking away as if full of guilt, his voice trailing off, "I don't think I can stay..."
Satisfaction filled him when she slipped up momentarily in her shock. He had indeed given into her the last few years, wishing to pay her back for raising him so it was the first time he'd refused her. She fixed her act quickly, her face full of confusion and hurt while her voice was quivering, "Ash sweetheart, what do you mean?"
He squeezed her hands, which he held, a sad smile rising on his face. "Diantha offered me a place in the Champion League training camp. I'll be there with Alain, we're going to be meeting the other champions and their own contestants. It's a tradition apparently held for every League. I already accepted the invitation."
He had to praise her acting skills. Her ability to cry on demand was enviable. He squeezed her hands in a show of comfort, looking at her with eyes full of apologies. Unlike him, however, no one else seemed to notice the momentary joy that passed through her eyes as she stuttered, "Y-you're leaving me…?" He eyes wide with shock as if she was staring at a ghost.
Her action immediately had most everyone present curse him for his thoughtless action of accepting the invite without thought.
Misty was the first to shout her curses, "You stupid jerk! She's your mom! Just accept the truth that you're weak and give up! Refuse the invite! Face it, if Brock and I hadn't pitied you, would you ever have made it to the League?"
She turned to look at Brock for support, but he said nothing, looking apologetically at Ash. Instead, she turned to May, "How could you do that to your mom! She's supported you your whole life and you won't even put your dream off for her sake?! You're a nobody! You're holding everyone back from accomplishing our dreams."
Cilan followed May's words once again speaking with that stupid nonsensical style that he never understood, "This flavor is bitter, the texture rough, the air is also cold. It's unlike you, Ash, to be so heartless."
Iris was much more hesitant than the others, and he could see it was because Axew had emerged from her hair and was glaring at his mother. However, still she was pressured by the heated glares of Misty and May. But it was obvious her heart wasn't in it as her signature insult didn't appear, "How can you be so mean…" Ash almost laughed at how cute it was as she fumbled for words, "you're so immature. Abandoning your own mother for your selfish dream."
Sparing an understanding glance at Cilan and Iris, he upright ignored Misty and May. A quick glance at the others revealed they were too confused by his mother's acting job to say anything. It was rather surprising that Drew, Paul, and Sawyer stood up for him, Max, and Dawn less so as he had traveled with them at one point. A look at his mother revealed she was unsatisfied with the curses as she let tears fall as she sobbed, "Y-…you're going to leave me? After all, I've down for you, this is how you treat me!"
"Ash, you're heartless!"
"Just for a stupid unreachable dream!"
"Ungrateful brat!"
Misty and May took turns hurling insults and curses at him while the others looked on with hesitation. Listening to the repeating insults and comments of the two annoying females, he quickly felt his apathy rising and before he could stop himself he snapped. Glaring at them, his gaze filled with scorn and irritation, he yawned. "Excuse me, would you annoying flies shut up?" They did as they swallowed their next words.
Releasing his sobbing mother's hands, he lifted his hand up to scratch Pikachu's cheeks. The yellow mouse purring against his ears. He wished someone would scratch his own buzzing ears. However, his words worked as they all shut up. He sneered with lazy contempt in the silence, "Am I supposed to care about what any of you think of me?"
His words sent a wave of shock through everyone present. Especially those who had defended him that had just woken up from his previous words towards his mother. Sawyer especially was shocked at the change in his light-hearted idol. Compared to the person they all knew there was a completely different person before them. There was a large chasm between the cold, irritated person to the boy he admired, the smiling, brave boy who never gave up.
There was a change in the surrounding air was also different; it wasn't bubbly and fake. Sawyer had always wondered how there could be such a carefree trainer before, especially after he discovered how many times Ash had lost in the Leagues. Looking at this 'stranger' he felt much closer to this more realistic version. The contempt in his eyes made him uncomfortable, though. However, of all his features, the dark bags under his chestnut eyes (they hadn't noticed until now) were the most prominent; the makeup used to make them light, having washed off in the rain. Never had Sawyer thought the light bags he saw often on the teen would in reality be so dark.
He wasn't alone in this observation. Paul, Drew, Dawn, and Max had noticed it as well. Paul had always paid extra attention to Ash, but he said nothing: every trainer would have some light bags as the League drew closer. Drew had noticed while watching Ash cheer up May after a contest lost. Dawn had during the practice performances that Ash helped her with, and Max well he noticed the earliest as he knew how annoying his sister was. In the end, they never paid it any mind as they always forgot about it after seeing the smile on his face.
Until yesterday never had they noticed anything wrong, coming to Kanto at Delia's invitation for what they thought was a celebration in Ash getting second place. If it hadn't been for Trip pointing out the possibility that Ash was always pretending, when they saw him at the airport, they'd never have noticed, nor would they have been prepared to face Delia's scheme. It was thanks to Trip that as they thought back to when they watched him battle or battled him, they could see that he always acted exhausted. There was always a hint of exhaustion in his auburn eyes hidden behind the excitement that they couldn't decide whether it was fake or real.
With Trip's reminder, they brainstormed their different encounters with Ash. Out of everyone's, Dawn's seemed to the time he slipped up most where they could see a clear difference. She shared a time when Ash was helping her; she had asked him why he kept putting his training off. He had answered her saying, 'Your Pokémon care so much about getting better and making you proud. Their desire is inspiring. I can't help but want to help them.' Dawn had forgotten about the matter, however, because Ash quickly changed the subject and explained different ideas with her.
However, realizing all of this and imagining what the real Ash was like, differed from actually seeing it because the imagination never focused on the things they didn't think was possible. Even if they could've thought of other possibilities, they'd only had a day to go over it. But seeing him now, he differed completely from what they had imagined.
Cold. Apathetic. Wise. Exhausted. Yes, he was far more exhausted than they had imagined. His eyes were glazed over like that of a zombie. But despite this he was still handsome, the Z marks on his cheeks gone seemingly only the result of him constantly smiling, which cramped his cheeks. Smiles they found rarely reached his eyes. Still, just thinking about what he'd look like a few years in the future made the girls blush. But they weren't given anymore time to daydream as Ash continued, yawning a bit before speaking sharply and lazily, his voice dripping with contempt.
"Honestly, am I supposed to care about what you think of me? Last I checked, I told you didn't have to follow. I even clarified that your company wasn't needed or wanted, and yet you all insisted on coming along like unwanted and annoying flies."
"What do you mean I followed you because-" Misty scoffed after gathering her courage to face his scornful cold eyes.
"Shut up, Misty." He snapped, glaring harshly at her. "I paid for a new bike after Team Rocket interrupted our gym battle. Your right, I didn't actually earn the badge but realize that Pikachu refused to battle you, which he regrets to this day by the way." He glared at her, snorting. "And, sure, I didn't win the Boulder Badge in a fair and square battle," He paused as he spit out the words, "but part of being a trainer is using one's head and surroundings. Only an idiot wouldn't take advantage of the 'weather'."
He stopped scratching Pikachu's chin, looking down at his nails with disdain. "May and you were the most annoying tagalongs I've ever had. Iris could count, but I can forgive her attitude as she doesn't know how to interact well with other people her age. She had just run away from home, not knowing much about the world along with a recently born baby and an extremely disobedient one. She has a strong talent in being able to communicate with Dragon Types, and will make a great trainer, even a champion if she really tried."
Iris shrunk a bit, but her eyes were full of hope and gratefulness.
Sparing a glance up, he looks unimpressed at Misty and May. "You two on the other hand… The only reason I never ditched May was because of Max. Not only does he have a strong love for Pokemon, he's smart and I looked forward to battling him. You were a headstrong idiot and a rude one at that. Throwing a tantrum when we didn't do what you wanted. It. Was. Annoying. It's little wonder the two of you were such great friends your tempers and personalities are the same, both useless spoiled flies."
May had tears in her eyes while her hands were defiantly clenched into fists, glaring at him with hatred. Misty gave him an angry scowl. Her mouth opened as though she was ready to go off on him. He didn't give her the chance, however.
"As for Brock." He paused again. A grateful smile on his face as he turned to look at the Rock Type Gym Leader, "Taking a break would be nice. Helping as a Gym Leader would be fun too. I might take you up on that offer later. I really owe you a lot for treating me like one of your siblings, you've helped me a lot as well. Teaching me how to care for Pokemon and how to cook! Thanks!"
Brock smiled, "It's the least I could do. If you do plan on it, just stop by the Gym and I help you get set up."
Ash nodded, before turning his gaze toward the light green head present in the room, "Cilan, you taught me how to find things out about my Pokémon, though your words didn't always make sense, you were a great teacher. The two of you were one of the few I was thankful to have met. You were like older brothers to me. You're a rather odd gym leader, but you're pretty smart! I think you'll do wonderfully as a connoisseur." Cilan looked at Ash with wide eyes at his words, but Ash didn't swell on it. Instead, his eyes sharpened as he turned to the woman before him.
"As for my mother," he looked at her, his gaze choking her as she continued to sob, drawling his words, "I'm sure you'll figure something out, Delia. I mean, you're five months pregnant from what I've heard from your boyfriend. You'll do just fine without me around like normal. Plus, it's not like you have any say in what I do, I am after all just the child of your deceased brother and sister-in-law."
As he spoke, her sobs stopped, and her eyes filled with surprise. The atmosphere froze once more since Ash dropped his act. Everyone looked at her in shock. Her fake confusion was funny to him, "Ah, you see Archer likes to check up with me often, more than you do. He calls me about once a week, sometimes more, when a disaster hits the region I'm in. He's really nice, one of the few people I can trust, actually. Funny right, I trust your boyfriend more than you, the very person who raised me. Anyway, now that I've told you and everything worked out, I don't want to waste anymore precious time in fulfilling my family's goal."
"Pika." Pikachu nodded his head, his expression mimicking his trainer's. A smirk rose on Ash's face at the paling of his mother's face as it drained of blood. Turning away, he picked up his backpack at the door again before throwing a look over his shoulder, "Well, see you all later!"
With his farewells said, he turned and stepped into the rain with no delay or hesitation. However, as he headed back towards the Professor's entering the woods, he heard multiple steps running after him. "Ash! Ash, wait up!"
He groaned lightly, but halted his steps. Reining in his irritation a bit, he turned around, welcomed by the sight of Sawyer, Dawn, Paul, Drew, and Max panting slightly out of breath. "What is it?"
Hearing the impatience in his voice, Sawyer cringed but quickly answered, "Will we ever see you again?"
He blinked. The question caught him off guard, especially when the other four nodded. Sighing, he looked at them helplessly. A small amount of mirth could be heard in his voice, "According to the rumor mill, there's a new League opening in an island region called Alola, should be five years from now."
He spoke with little interest in his voice, but his reluctant eyes told them everything they needed, especially with the resigned sigh of Pikachu. With that he walked off, leaving them in the rain. It would cause him problems in the future, but he wanted to see them again so he could see how much they'd grown. He walked forward, and he didn't stop until he was deep in the woods. Looking into the grey sky through the branches of the trees, he sighed. "It's going to be a long five years bud, you ready?"
"Pika."
Ash looked weary as his partner pumped his paw into the air with false excitement. "Great. Arceus, we're ready to go."
Hidden in his shadow, the eyes of a strange Pokemon appeared to glow before a strong wind blew up dust, blocking the surroundings. As it passed, there wasn't even a trace of the person once standing in the clearing's center, nor of the strange Pokemon.
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