Chương 29: Not Human

Fate reared it's ugly head into Lucas' path once again. Lucas gasped, waking up in his bed. He was breathing once again. He panted, catching up on his lost breaths. He turned on the light and looked at the clock. It was a little after noon. He left the room at around eight in the evening, and now it was noon. He didn't know when he passed out, but it had to be a while ago.

Lucas exited his bedroom and walked into the living room. He expected Stella to be there, but she wasn't. Lucas sat down all alone on the couch. He reflected on the past few days he'd been here. It was all so crazy.

Lucas regretted everything. The only place that he thought would be safe had been compromised. Lucas wrapped his hands around his skull and scratched the back of his head.

The angel appeared before him. It's wings were outstretched. Lucas didn't want to see the angel. Not now.

(Lucas: "Leave me alone.")

(Stella: "Are you talking to me, or your pet?")

Stella stood in the hallway. She must've been in her room.

(Lucas: "You can see that?")

Lucas pointed at the angel. He thought humans couldn't see the angel.

(Stella: "Of course I can see it. Do you think I'm blind?")

Stella was being very antagonistic. She was angry with him. She still couldn't completely wrap her head around the fact Lucas wasn't human.

(Stella: "So… I think I've got a few questions for you.")

(Lucas: "I figured.")

(Stella: "Are you really not human?")

Lucas shrugged, sweeping his golden hair back with his hand.

(Lucas: "You wanna cut my hair to see for yourself?")

(Stella: "I'm quite fine, thank you.")

Stella looked Lucas up and down. Nothing about him seemed off before, but then she thought about all those times when Lucas survived borderline impossible situations.

When that spider was on top of him in the store, Lucas didn't get lucky. He just couldn't die.

(Stella: "How many times have you died around me?")

(Lucas: "Well, I haven't. That's kind of the point of immortality.")

(Stella: "That's not what I meant, idiot! How many times have you been injured near me?")

(Lucas: "At least twice.")

(Stella: "What happened?")

(Lucas: "Uhm… ugh… My head…")

Lucas hesitated. He knew how bad this was going to sound. He knew Stella would be shocked. Just the words "my head" had Stella imagining different ways he could've been mortally wounded from the head.

(Lucas: "My head was cut off.")

Stella's mouth slowly dropped. She covered it with her palm.

(Stella: "Twice?!")

(Lucas: "Once in the store, and once at the manhole.")

(Stella: "Like—completely? It came off?")

Lucas nodded. Stella still covered her mouth with her hand. She felt betrayed. Why didn't he tell her? Things could've been so much easier if he had just told her sooner.

(Stella: "Why did you wait until now to tell me?")

Lucas shrugged.

(Lucas: "You made me feel alive.")

(Stella: "Are you not alive?")

(Lucas: "If I was alive, I'd be dead.")

(Stella: "What? What are you even saying?!")

Lucas shook his head.

(Stella: "I don't understand any of this! You made me worry about you! You made me care! I know you! You're human! I know you are!")

(Lucas: "You don't know me. You never did. Hell, half of the time, I don't even know me. I've seen things you wouldn't believe. I've felt pain you couldn't imagine. I've come face to face with death many times, and I've come out the other side without even a scratch every single time. I've denied the laws of life completely and utterly. To say that I'm alive would be like saying a ghost is alive. I shouldn't be here. I should be dead along with my peers, and yet here I am. Heart beating, lungs breathing. I've traveled the highways for over a decade, searching for my wife. Instead, I've found nothing but pain and suffering, and I'm hardly any closer to my destination than I was ten years ago. Ive been out there so long, I forgot about my past, the H.S.A. and so much more. Even now, after being told about my history, I still struggle to remember. I can't even remember if I got lost before or after the birth of my child, or even how I got lost. Not that it matters anymore. He would be at least ten years old by now. He wouldn't know me if I walked by him. I doubt my own wife would recognize me. I've changed so much and so little over the past decade. I've matured, but my body has remained the same. It's all because of that damn angel! If it weren't for that angel, I could still be with my wife, with my child. But my wife mourns my death at a bodiless grave. I don't even know if I have a grave. I can't remember what it was like in my Unit. God, I can't remember…")

Lucas lightly battered his forehead with a single fist. He was in distress. Stella could see that very clearly. She approached. Her face was sorrowful. Lucas didn't dare look at her. He had no idea what she was going to do. He would let her do anything to him. Punch, cut, stab, it didn't matter. He deserved it all.

Warmth. Lucas felt warmth. Stella's arms wrapped around him. She embraced him lovingly. A way a mother would embrace their child.

(Lucas: "What are you doing?")

(Stella: "What do you think I'm doing?")

(Lucas: "I couldn't hurt you, Y'know.")

(Stella: "You could, but you won't. Not any more than you've already hurt yourself.")

(Lucas: "You have no idea.")

They remained there for many moments. Stella had a sweet smell about her. Her muscular, yet surprisingly delicate figure was comforting.

Suddenly, Jonas began crying from her room. Stella pulled away and ran to tend to the baby.

Lucas was left alone on the couch once again. The angel was gone. He didn't know how to make out the events that just took place. He didn't remember the last time he was hugged. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd been intimate with anyone in the slightest.

Lucas had goosebumps. He hated it. He hated her embrace. That's what he told himself, but in reality, he hated himself. He'd break her heart one day, just like he broke his wife's heart. He didn't want that for her. He needed her to accept he wasn't human. He didn't want her to care. He didn't deserve care, and yet that's all that she's shown him.

Stella walked back into the living room with Jonas, who was still crying. She sat down beside him, and Lucas scooted away from her subconsciously.

Jonas was wailing, but then he saw Lucas. His cries stopped. Jonas stared curiously. He always seemed to have a curious gaze.

Jonas gave a toothy smile. He laughed and reached for Lucas. Jonas began talking in gibberish, but through all of the unintelligible speech, one word stuck out. "Dada."

Lucas' heart melted. This child smiled so delicately toward him. His fatherly instincts took over.

Lucas stood up.

(Lucas: "Okay.")

(Stella: "Hm?")

(Lucas: "We are leaving here. We cannot stay. It's not safe for you or Jonas. I will take you somewhere else. Somewhere that is secure, somewhere that is safe. I swear.")

Stella's eyes lit up. They sparkled under the soft orange light from the lamp.

(Lucas: "But I have one condition. You give me that crossbow, and I do all the fighting. I will take all the damage for you.")

(Stella: But—")

(Lucas: "No ifs or buts. I am immortal. I will be fine.")

(Stella: "First of all, that's two—")

(Lucas: "I know, I know, it's two conditions. I may not be able to count, but if there is one thing I'm good for, it's keeping people safe. If I can do just that, everything will be okay.")

Stella didn't like the conditions. She thought she should be able to keep Lucas safe too, but she didn't argue. She didn't fight it.

(Stella: "When do we leave?")

Lucas pondered the question for a moment.

(Lucas: "I don't know. Whenever you're ready.")

Stella nodded. She gave Lucas a quick smile before carrying Jonas off back to her room.

Lucas wanted to be happy, but he couldn't bring himself to smile. He lost something very valuable today. He lost something that can't just be replaced.

He lost his humanity. If he wasn't sure of it before, he certainly is now.

Lucas is not human.

It is by his very nature.