Chương 21: The mess I made

Colin

"Hey, what are you doing here?" There is a smile on her face as she walks out of the room. She is dressed in a pair of blue jean shorts and a white tank top. Even in this dull hallway, her blond hair is down today and over her shoulders. She is glowing so brightly that it almost hurts my eyes.

"Ashina hey, "I screech the back of my neck nervously because I don't know what to say.

What am I doing here?

"I...uh, I got lost and didn't know how to get back to my room."

She furrows her brows and for a second I think she doesn't believe me, but a smile replaces the hesitation "You have been here for a week. That's a little weird."

Yeah, don't mind me, I am such a goof."

She nods, "So, do you want me to walk you out? We can find your building. What do you think?" Her eyes gleam as she waits for my response, and I see the eagerness in them. She wants to go with me.

"Sure."

We walked out of the building together. "I haven't had a chance to spend time with you all week. Do you maybe want to change that? She asks.

I don't have any reason to pursue things with Ashina because I am fucking her brother, and it would be weird, but I don't know how else to tell her that without revealing everything and hurting her feelings. She seems to have seen something in me that she likes, even though I don't know what that is.

We just can't work.

I want her brother.

I am satisfied with him, and I don't want to complicate it.

"Do you think that is a good idea?'' I ask her.

She shrugs, "I don't know. There is just something about you. Something that I can't explain and I can't keep denying it. So I just want us to get to know each other and explore whatever this is,'' she waves her hand in front of me as if I have a clue what she is talking about.

I don't like the words that are coming out of her mouth because the thought is scary enough. When I came to the Greenspring community and I heard that Ashina was here, I wanted her to be the one, but now, I don't even want to even think about that. I don't know what to think.

Say yes.

My wolf growls.

This is the first time my wolf has shown interest in anything since we came here. I don't need him right now. I don't need this confusion.

"Come on Colin, you have to say yes,'' she bats her lashes. Her eyes bore into mine and I take a deep breath because I didn't know what to say to this.

"Tonight, let's sneak away during dinner and talk. Get to know each other.''

How do I explain that I went on a date with his sister when I go to his room later tonight? He is never going to believe me.

Say yes.

My wolf pushes me, and for the first time in my life, it feels like he is in control of me. My vampire side has always been the dominant side of me. Even though I control my bloodthirst now, the only part of me that is awake twenty-four seven is that part, and now, my Lycan side is taking the reigns and it is scaring me. My wolf already knows that Lowell is not my mate and wants to find that person.

I don't know if I am curious about that anymore.

Say yes now.

There is a rumble inside of me and I feel the surge of energy as he takes over. I am still here, in my body but he has come out. "Tonight, okay." I hear my voice, but I know that it is not me. My wolf is in control and I don't like that. I don't want that.

I watch as we walk side by side until we stop in front of the block. "Okay, I will see you tonight,'' she smiles before she leaves me, and the second she leaves, I feel him go back inside.

"What the fuck,'' I exclaim in complete and utter confusion.

My hands tremble until I get to Tala's room. I don't know if she is the one I should talk to about this but I am scared. This has never happened to me before, I give my wolf control. He doesn't just take it and he took it with her.

I knock on her door for a couple of seconds before she opens it. Her eyes are half-closed as she walks back to the bed without even saying a word.

"I need to talk to you because I was freaking out inside."

"What happened ?'' she asks as she sits down on the bed.

"I don't know, My wolf just made me do something."

'What do you mean?"

I tell her what happened, and she listens intently. Once I am done, she lets out a huff, "I told you not to get involved with him, I told you.''

"How is this about Lo? This is about Ashina."

"They are siblings. Do you think she will be okay knowing that you fucked her brother? You are in a mess right now.''

"It's just one date, not a big deal.''

"And what if she is your mate?''

I don't even want to think about it. I don't want to think about anything right now. Running my hands through my hair, "She can't be the one. The odds are just too low."

"Look, you should already know if she is the one, and it seems like your wolf is already telling you. There is nothing I can do or say to convince you otherwise. You can deny it all you want, but you will always come back to each other if she is the one. Do not fight it."

"Last time we talked, you said I should stay away from the shadow pack. Now you want me to pursue this?"

She shakes her head "You have to now. I said that when it was just for fun. You can't deny your mate, even if you want to.''

We don't even know if she is my mate and I already feel this surge of panic.

Oh, God.