Chương 1: Petrus
It's twelve on the clock, and I'm still not home. Not that there's anyone waiting for me. Though, I still desire to lay in the comfort of my room, basking in the ambient light and thinking about what I'll do tomorrow. Life for a loner is barely any fun. Though I guess that's my own fault.
At least I live in the age of the Internet.
Ever since I was a child, I've constantly been in front of some screen. Be it a computer, phone or TV. I never interacted with other kids as much as the normal growing child, but I never wanted to anyway. I still don't enjoy socializing with my peers. The only people my age that I talk to are y friends I've met on the internet. I like them because they're like me. I've never met them in person, though it's not like I really want to. Sometimes I want to at least see their faces, but I don't ask them because I'm afraid they'll distance themselves from me.
I dreamt that I had a girlfriend last night. It was a strange dream, because it felt real. I felt pretty happy. Or rather, I felt really happy. I can't remember when last I felt that way. Something about the dream made me feel quite sad afterwards. Like a deep, melancholy that permeated my heart. I don't like that feeling.
"I had a weird dream last night."
"Oh yeah? What did you dream about?"
"I dreamt I had a girlfriend."
"Well, that's probably the closest you'll get to the real thing."
"But I always thought I never wanted one."
"Sometimes people don't truly know what they want, so they make up stuff to feel in control."
"So I actually do want a girlfriend?"
"Maybe it's not exactly a girlfriend you want, but rather that intimate happiness that comes with that sort of relationship."
"You seem pretty knowledgeable."
"Nah. It's just that I want that feeling as well."
"Do you think I can just ignore it?"
"That, my good sir, I don't know. Whenever I ignore the desire, it just gets stronger when I remember it again. But when I acknowledge it, it hurts me and reminds me that I'm all alone."
"I don't like this."
"Neither do I. But when someone becomes as lonely as you and me, these feelings become much more prominent, since there's nothing distracting us."
I'm eating a sandwich in the living room. I don't really like sweet food, so I'm eating chicken and mayonnaise. I love mayonnaise. I also love chocolate. The sweet, creaminess that melts in your mouth is incredibly addictive.
My phone is ringing.
"Hello?"
"Hey it's me. Uriel said you sounded pretty depressed earlier, so I just wanted to check up on you. Are you doing okay?"
This is the only girl I talk to. Her name is Morgan. She likes pasta.
"Yeah, I'm doing fine. I just had a dream that made me sad, that's all."
"Oh yeah, the girlfriend dream."
"He told you?"
"He's just worried."
"I know."
"So, what are you doing?"
"Eating a sandwich."
"Chicken and mayo?"
"Yup. What are you up to?"
"Typical introvert stuff. Playing games, listening to music, the usual stuff."
"Don't you get bored with doing the same thing over and over again?"
"I could ask you the same thing."
"I suppose you could. What time is it there?"
"Uh, I do not know. It's probably morning because it's dark outside."
"You should get some sleep."
"I could tell you the same thing."
"I suppose you could."