Chương 4: Chapter 3 Tension and Tears
With a steadfast demeanor, Shivin took a deep breath and looked at his parents who sat on the couch closely together. He could sense their curiosity and concern, unsure of how they would react. Gathering his thoughts, he mustered the courage to reveal his plans.
"Mom, Dad, there's something important I need to share with both of you," Shivin started, his voice steady but filled with nervousness. "I've been doing a lot of research, and I've come to a decision. I want to pursue my higher education abroad, specifically in the UK."
His mother's eyes widened, while his father's expression hardened as they listened intently. Shivin continued, sharing his dreams, his passion for learning, and the opportunities he believed awaited him overseas.
"It's for my best. I believe once I move there, there shall never be a turning back point in my life."
As the weight of Shivin's words sank in, his parents exchanged a glance, their faces reflecting a mix of surprise, worry, and disbelief. His father's brows furrowed, and his mother clasped her hands together, unsure of how to respond. They were apparently stunned. His father's voice broke the silence, laced with concern.
"Shivin, do you know what you're saying? You're still young, and studying abroad is a big step. Have you considered all the challenges and the distance from family? You are just 17 and we worry about your well-being and how you will manage on your own. Do you often look at one side of a book after opening it? No, right?"
His mother, struggling to find her words, added, "Shivin, we've always wanted what's best for you. It's hard to imagine you so far away, facing the uncertainties of a different country. Are you sure you've thought this through? Are you out of your mind or what?"
As his parents voiced their concerns, Shivin felt a whirlwind of emotions swirling within him. Disappointment and frustration crept into his heart, mingling with his hope for understanding and support. He had yearned for his parents to share in his excitement, but their reactions revealed their deep-rooted worries for his safety and well-being.
Trying to find common ground, Shivin attempted to explain the potential advantages he believed he could gain by studying abroad. He shared his visions of acquiring a global perspective, gaining exposure to diverse cultures, and accessing opportunities that could propel him forward in his chosen field. He wasn't ready to give up anytime sooner and as he began to articulate his views on going abroad for his betterment, his father's impatience grew evident, his voice rising to overpower Shivin's own.
His father's constant interruptions struck a chord of annoyance within Shivin, momentarily hindering his attempts to convey his perspective. Shivin's parents largely expressed disapproval and displeasance, with his father questioning the viability of studying in the UK and the financial implications in a harsh and unsupportive manner.
"What's wrong with India? What is difference in studying abroad and India? You are just stupendously naive and a delusional person."
The tension in the room palpable, he began to speak, his voice still tinged with frustration but also laced with a sense of genuine concern.
"As someone who's serious about his future, I feel going abroad will be the best decision I can take for myself. Why can't you see I'm keen to pursue my education there? I did my research on numerous universities in the UK. All I'm waiting for is your support."
"Shivin, we appreciate your ambitions, and we want what's best for you," his father began apparently disgruntled, his words measured and deliberate. "This is why we can't let you go abroad just like that with the belief that you can live manage everything on your own. We worry about your safety, your well-being, and your ability to navigate a new country on your own."
His mother, her eyes evident with a mix of concern and apprehension, interjected with a trembling voice. "Shivin, we want you to reach for the stars, but we also want to ensure your comfort and security. It's hard for us to imagine you so far away, facing the challenges of a different place and leaving behind the support system you have here."
Shivin listened intently, his heart heavy with the weight of their concerns. He understood their worries and knew that their love for him was the driving force behind their reactions. As he absorbed their words, he realised that their initial resistance stemmed from a place of care, not a desire to stifle his dreams. In that moment, Shivin's disappointment began to give way to empathy and understanding.
He recognised the depth of his parents' love and their genuine desire to protect him. Although their immediate response hadn't aligned with his hopes, he knew that their journey toward acceptance and support needed time. And he wasn't ready to give up on his dreams. Taking a deep breath, Shivin mustered the strength to respond, his voice laced with a mix of persistence and empathy.
"I understand your concerns, mom and dad, and I appreciate your concern and care. I want you to know that I am committed to proving myself, to addressing any worries you have. I will take the time you need, and together, we can find a way to make this decision with the utmost care. Just don't compel me to give up on my dreams of going abroad next year because I've been planning all this for a while long while and suddenly refraining from thinking of my life's greatest dream is not my cup of tea. You need to believe me this one and last time for real."
As Shivin attempted to explain the depth of his aspirations and dreams, his father's frustration began to grow, causing his voice to adopt a harsh and unforgiving tone. The disapproval in his parents' eyes deepened as they dismissed his plan as childish and delusional, offering an alternative path they believed to be more practical. His mother, her voice filled with concern, suggested that Shivin complete his Bachelor's degree in Bangalore and then consider studying abroad for his Master's degree.
However, Shivin's conviction remained unwavering. He knew that his dreams couldn't be compromised or delayed. Desperate to bridge the gap between their perspectives, Shivin made one final attempt to explain his perspective, hoping that his words would break through the barrier of their doubts and fears. However, instead of finding a receptive audience, his father's anger escalated, his scolding becoming increasingly harsh.
"Enough of this bullshit!" his father's voice boomed, the disapproval in his tone cutting through Shivin's heart. "You're being unreasonable and naive. Leave this room and go back to your own. We will discuss this matter when you are ready to be sensible."
The sting of his father's words struck Shivin deeply, leaving him feeling shattered and unheard. Defeated, he silently obeyed his father's command, With heavy steps, he made his way to his room, where he allowed himself to crumble. Their reaction had shattered his expectations, leaving him feeling vulnerable and misunderstood. Tears streamed down his face as the weight of their rejection and the widening chasm between them overwhelmed him. In the solitude of his room, Shivin allowed himself to release the pent-up emotions, his cries echoing through the silence.
He yearned for his parents' understanding and support, but it seemed as though his dreams had been met with a wall of resistance. As the tears subsided, a mix of dejection and tenacity settled within Shivin's heart. His tears flowed freely as he grappled with a mix of sadness, frustration, and a lingering glimmer of hope. He cried for the dashed dreams, the perceived rejection, and the gap that seemed to grow wider between him and his parents.
He knew he couldn't abandon his dreams, but he also recognized the importance of rebuilding the fractured relationship with his parents. It was a painful realization that the path to his aspirations would not be as straightforward and rational as he had hoped.
In the quiet solitude of his room, Shivin vowed to find a way to bridge the gap, to show his parents the depth of his commitment and the potential he believed lay in studying abroad. As the tears subsided, a quiet tenacity settled within Shivin's heart. He realised that his dreams were not easily understood by others, but he couldn't let their doubts deter him. He would find a way to bridge the gap, to make them see his unwavering commitment and the burning desire that fueled his aspirations.
With every ounce of persistence he'd got, he vowed to prove himself and reignite the flickering hope that remained within him. In the solace of his room, Shivin allowed himself to feel the depth of his emotions. Shivin decides to contemplate his next move. He understood that the road ahead would be filled with challenges, but he was sure he would find a way to make his parents understand and support his dreams.
Persuading them seemed challenging to him but he was ready to commit everything that could help him in that process. In that moment of vulnerability, he silently promised himself to persevere, knowing that his journey had only just begun.
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