Chương 1: Chapter 1
It is late morning, and a sense of blissful tranquility envelops my body, preventing my consciousness from fully awakening from a deep slumber. Oh, what a feeling it is — the morning after a long week of work, followed by a drunken evening on Friday, a sleep until noon on Saturday, and then a lazy day to follow. My sleep-addled mind does not immediately register… anomalies. The texture of the sheets and blanket is different, the pillow feels unusually firm, and there is someone sleeping beside me…
Wait… what? What is this? A surge of panic disrupts my state of relaxation. Opening my eyes, I frantically scan my surroundings. A multitude of details catch my attention, but let us start with the basics. First and foremost, I am aware of my own existence. I am naked, lying on a vast four-poster bed. And next to me lies a young man, perhaps in his late teens, also without any clothing… a handsome face, tousled brown hair, sensuous lips…
"I am utterly terrified."
These words come to one's mind once or twice in one's lifetime, and even more frequently when it comes to a life such as mine. However, it was the first time that they had such «weight» in my memory.
I emerged from the pile of blankets, my head throbbing slowly, and began to scrutinize the room more closely. The circular walls were constructed of large gray-white stones, with meticulously sealed joints. The floor was covered with rugs and furs of various animals, and several chests and cupboards were scattered about. To the left of the bed was an unattractive protruding fireplace, also of considerable size, above which hung a canvas depicting a rampant black stag on a yellow background. Two full suits of armor with «stag» engravings adorned the walls on either side of the fireplace. There were several glazed windows opposite the fireplace, but they were large loopholes, rather than windows. Opposite the bed stood a massive double-door, decorated with gilding and more stag motifs.
Seizing upon an epiphany, I hastened to one of the «windows», although the vista was spectacular, it did not appeal to me at all. Before me lay the ocean, stretching to the horizon, with dark clouds looming overhead, as if a tempest were about to erupt. There was a substantial wall beneath the window, a respectable distance away, perhaps some twenty meters in length, along which armored figures paced with a leisurely gait. Beyond the wall, a sliver of forest could be discerned, and in the far distance, a low mountain range.
Retreating, I slowly withdrew from the aperture. My throat felt parched, and my thoughts whirled through my mind at breakneck speed, causing my long-suffering intellect to heat up to the point where, weary from contemplating «where?», «how?», and «what on earth?», it decided to abandon all and undergo a «reboot».
The cool darkness once again descended upon my overburdened mind, and I collapsed onto the bed that I had been fortunate enough to drag myself to.
I cautiously opened my eyes, still heavy from sleep. Waiting... I wasn't sure for what. I lay on the same canopy bed, but this time alone... Thank goodness. The headache persisted, but I did not appear to be in danger of losing consciousness. There was nobody in the room, which provided an opportunity for reflection. There was even something to discuss. But first...
Without making a sound, I rose from the bed and retrieved the chamber pot... A chamber pot, indeed. My mind might have involuntarily pondered the terminology had it not been for the sight of this humble object. How beautiful, how silver... Even the engraved deer adorned it. Having attended to my personal needs, I returned to the bed.
So, let us begin. My name is Igor Nikolaevich Melnikov, and I have nearly reached the age of forty. I am a hardworking individual during the week, a reveler on the weekends, and also a part-time biker. These are those who, while maintaining all the external trappings and accoutrements, choose to ride in a sidecar rather than on a Harley, because one can imbibe in a sidecar, but not on a Harley.
I am married, or rather, I was married. I have been married twice, and both times I have left children behind, two of them — a girl and a boy. Despite this, I remain on amicable terms with my ex-spouses, and the children have even become friends. Some might be surprised, but I have always viewed this as a "moderate" deviation from the norm. I was never unkind, I am not a miser, and I actively participate in child-rearing. In general, I possess a sense of responsibility, but I also enjoy the company of the fairer sex, which I cannot deny.. There is, or rather, already "had" its own business in the form of a car repair shop and a couple of shops with tools for transportation. The business was booming no matter what. Business flourished regardless of circumstances.
In the midst of my writing, I needed to take a break from constructing my biography. My weary head demanded that I simply lay it on the pillow and allow it to rest. I sensed, my poor soul, that the «difficult» sections were approaching.
He graduated from a military academy, served for several years, and had the opportunity to fight in the mountains... and then he quit. They didn't pay him, as they say, at all, and he was young and impetuous, so when an opportunity presented itself, he immediately filed for discharge. In his thirtieth year, he became immersed in reenacting the late Middle Ages, having always been passionate about history, and there was a supportive community. Thus, I became a historical reenactor.
Nonetheless, I was not your average person. Yes, I did collect armor and even wear it occasionally, but at gatherings I mostly dressed in a burger outfit and imbibed beer. I didn't participate in brawls or skirmishes; having experienced my fair share of battles during the Second Chechen War, I attended these events purely for the companionship and lively, engaging conversation... Well, also to play the guitar and admire the ladies in their various attire. Overall, I hope I was not an entirely undesirable individual. I would lend a hand, and if I couldn't assist, I still lent a helping hand, and people reciprocated in kind. However, I could also deliver a punch if necessary, but only out of necessity. Violence was the last resort for me. In a sense, I was a pacifist. Perhaps I was.
Why the past tense? Why "was"? Well, I am gone. He is gone. How? I cannot recall, but I can imagine — there were copious amounts of alcohol, disreputable women, and tales… Or tents that were torn, costumes from the Middle Ages, armor, horses, disreputable women and alcohol… or all of it together. After all, the company remains essentially the same.
And so, I was struck, and with great force. Not by anyone or anything, but by the world of «A Song of Ice and Fire», and by the whole of Renly Baratheon himself. No matter how much my companions and I had discussed and joked about alternative history and assassinations, to find ourselves in such a situation... is both frightening and a bit amusing. It is more frightening, but there is also good news.
I am quite familiar with «Game of Thrones» — I have watched all the seasons and read two entire books... Well, I haven't finished the second book. Admittedly, when I first encountered this fantasy, many things caused me to be skeptical and confused, but I gained a lot, for this is true of almost all works.
But no, I am being a tad too cautious. There is not just one piece of good news — I am incredibly fortunate.
Firstly, Renly — now it's me or us… You don't get it, but we sort of… «merged». If you think about it from Renly's perspective, I agree, it sounds homosexual, but it is true. Now, there is no Renly Baratheon and no Igor Melnik — there is Regli bas-relief! Or vice versa… It doesn't matter. The name is inconsequential, but the body is Renlivsky, and if they harm it, I fear it will be devastating… But there's nothing new here — I'll figure it out.
Secondly… Renly. Renly damn it! After all, had I awoken in the body of a peasant, or, worse yet, a woman, I would have been doomed. In this realm, peasants and women don't live long and don't enjoy dignity.
Thirdly… Renly once again. Because the body is young and handsome — I was a novice and «would pull with beer», but Renly is a manly man. Shoulder-length, black hair, blue eyes, a chiseled jawline.. Renly, in essence, was the gay version of Conan. And therein lies the crux of the matter. If Conan was after women, then Renly was after men… Well, sort of. In essence, Renly possessed a vast repository of memories in his mind, not the most agreeable for a staunch heterosexual like myself. Without reservation, I can state that Renly still retained the characteristic of being a «sword swallower». It was true! I was because of no other reason.
The most recent example of this phenomenon is the young man with whom, Heaven forbid, I found myself sharing a bed. Loras Tyrell, once Renly's squire and now, for some days past, Renly's dedicated knight. This is what brought them together.
No, in general, I do not care who sleeps with whom or what their orientation is (except, of course, for pedophiles, whom I would deal with without mercy), and such things have happened to me as well, after which I learned to focus on the Adam's apple first, and then everything else. I have had friends like that, but they were friends, and they suited me. However, I was not like that. One might say that I was somewhat fun-loving, but not to the point of being insensitive.
So, thoughts are already racing back and forth, starting to get carried away. It's probably due to the merger… Connections… The referendum… In general, "hits". I think I need to take a short nap, or else I'll be afraid to face people.
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