Chương 37: Would You Be Willing to Listen to Me?
Soon, night fell.
Kyoya and Shouko ate their dinner early. He dismissed Mrs. Shimizu once the older woman finished tidying up the kitchen. He would handle the dirty dishes by himself later.
Kyoya didn't realize that his quietness was being observed from the side by Shouko. She thought that he had acted weird ever since he came out from his room in the evening.
Instead of feeling that he was troubled with his job, she felt like it was more to something personal. He would be lost in his thoughts and sometimes, when she looked away he would sneak a peek at her.
He thought that she didn't notice his behavior yet she did and she chose to not press on him.
Kyoya insisted to wash the dishes by himself so Shouko went to read a book. She sat on the couch in the lounge with both of her legs laid on her right side as her body leaned against the armrest. She was dressed in a comfortable cashmere sweater and long skirt.
Since the night was beautiful, she switched off the lights in the lounge and only turned on the lamp placed on the side table. The golden color of its lights spread on the pages of the book she was reading.
The white curtains were pulled back to each side, revealing the beautiful sight of a full moon shining above the still lake. The stars sparkled on the inky dark sky, creating a dazzling contrast to whoever looked at them.
Soon, the fragrant scent of chamomile wafted in the air. Shouko blinked her eyes, she lifted up her head and looked at the man who had just stood before her. Her lips curled up.
Kyoya returned her smile with a smile of his own. In his hands, there was a tray of two cups of tea and a plate of cookies.
"Do you fancy some tea and cookies?" He asked in a light tone.
Kyoya looked at the tea in a second before his eyes went back to her face. The soft glint in his eyes sent ripples to her heart. If Shouko didn't see the anxiousness that he tried to hide, she would think he was just as calm as always.
Still, she went along with his act.
"Sure," She replied with a smile.
Kyoya placed the tray on the coffee table. He carefully handed the cup of warm chamomile tea to Shouko. She breathed in the calming scent before she took a sip. She sighed in blissful relief.
Looking at Kyoya who sat beside her, Shouko said, "Your tea brewing skill is good, I love how this tea tastes."
Kyoya smiled faintly, his entire countenance exuded tenderness as he looked back at her.
Both of them enjoyed their tea and cookies as time passed by. They chatted amiably, although it was Shouko who did most of the talking. The man would just quietly listen to her as his smile didn't leave his face.
Seeing the empty cup in his hand, Kyoya pursed his lips tightly before he slowly put in on the saucer placed on the table.
"Shouko."
Shouko paused her act, the rim of the cup rested against her lips. She stared at Kyoya whose expression had turned sullen. Her brows rose, silently asking him what was wrong.
Kyoya breathed in and out. He put both of his wide palms on his thighs, tightly gripping them. Creases started forming under his coarse hands. After a few seconds of silence, his words sounded in the quiet lounge. Both of his eyes locked on her questioning ones.
"I have something to say to you. It's about me. Would you be willing to listen to me?"
His voice was as calm as the lake outside their villa yet, there was a faint hint of pleading in it.
Shouko smiled, she nodded as her expression softened, "Yes. I'm glad if you want to tell me more about you."
Her words brought warmth to his heart, gently calming his tensed nerves. The grips on his thighs loosened.
"Actually, I'm not sure how to start this," Kyoya smiled sheepishly but soon his smile fell, making Shouko felt uneasy. He paused, contemplating on how to deliver his words better before he reformed it into a question.
"Did you think my behavior was weird when I suddenly went to deal with the boy's mother last night?"
The way he said it ached her heart.
This was what had been bothering him, Shouko thought. The light in her eyes dimmed as she realized what he wanted to tell her about.
"No," Shouko shook her head. She forced herself to smile widely before she added, "I just thought that your action was heroic. Because of you, the boy was saved."
Kyoya laughed drily at her choice of words. It sounded like she was happily praising him but he could still see how her shoulders slumped in low-spirit.
Is she... worried?
Kyoya smiled yet it appeared bitter. Even at this moment, he was unsure of himself.
He could only bite the bullet and let it all out.
"You saw how that boy was shaking in fear, right?" Kyoya spoke again. His grips on his thigh tightened once again as he slowly muttering out what he had been trying to say. "I didn't act that way out of goodwill, Shouko. No, it's not because of it. That boy... reminded me of my childhood self."
Once he finished, Kyoya looked away from her eyes. He lowered his gaze. His eyes darted left and right, showing his nervousness as he began to reveal a piece of his own self.
His jaw went taut as he pursed his lips tight into a straight line. Kyoya released his hold from his thighs. His shivering hands locked with one another, forming a firm clutch.
Even to this day, he couldn't help but feel inferior and helpless.
If possible, he still wanted to keep it from her but by doing so, he was just wasting their time. He needed to be frank if he wanted to reveal everything, everything to her.
He could only start from his past.
As much as she had guessed what he wanted to talk about it, Shouko was still surprised by it. By seeing how he acted right now made her heart ached for him.
He was still haunted by the shadow of his past. It was hard for him to walk out of it.
Shouko looked at her hands. She turned her palms to meet her eyes before she clenched and unclenched her small fists. A sense of powerless enveloped her entire being, stripping her calmness far away.
Her gaze went back to him. Kyoya was still looking down at the floor under his feet.
In the dimness of the lounge, his shadow was cast over his face. It was difficult to see his current expression.
Without saying anything, Shouko turned her body to face him. She slowly inched closer to him.
Both of her hands wrapped Kyoya's arm, she placed one of her palms over his trembling fists. Her actions made Kyoya flinched before he looked at her in disbelief. His thin lips parted slightly yet no words came out of his mouth.
Shouko smiled sadly. She looked straight into his eyes, wanting him to look at her without anxiety in his eyes. Then, her soft voice drifted in the air.
"Tell me about yourself."
Kyoya was baffled. His heart shuddered terribly as waves of emotions fluctuated within him. He unlatched his hands, brought one palm out and grasped on her hand that was still holding his.
He was afraid she would disappear if he didn't hold her like this. Only by feeling her warmth, he could suppress the eerie shadow in his heart.
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