Chương 15: Chapter I - The Strange Man
One year after the death of my rival. Jane and I married, moved to Norway, and had a pet dog named Emily. Three years later we received a phone call that would bring us to our next adventure, despite having already enough.
"Howdy!" I kicked the front door open upon returning from my new boring job as a librarian, wearing a new cowboy hat. Our deduction skills never disappeared.
"I deduce that you bought a new cowboy hat" said she, sitting on a sofa waiting for my arrival. She wore blue pyjamas and held a cane.
"Yes" I confirmed
"Too bad I can't see it. But atleast I can still imagine, you look incredibly hideous"
"Thank you" I said sarcastically "Where's Emily?"
our cute female pomeranian bit my ass. "Emily! No!" I shrieked
"That probably looked better in my mind"
"You're dirty mind"
"In a way. Good thing she didn't bite your dick. Oh wait, it doesn't exist" sassed she.
"So how was your day?"
"I'm blind, what do you think?"
The telephone rang and I answered in Norwegian "Hallo"
"Is this Mr. Habitat?" said the voice.
"I can confirm you are calling in the correct number. Now tell me what stupidity I am about to witness of you?"
"It's me, Officer Heinz. I slam papers on people's desks, i'm sure you haven't forgot"
"What do you need? And how did you find this number?"
"You need to get to London"
"What for?" I complained "I deduce I was the only best detective you had until I resigned. Now I just wanna live a happy fucking life with my best friend-slash-wife-slash-the woman who can kick your stupid ass!"
I heard a murmur from the phone and the sound of passing it over to someone else.
"William, I know you've had enough" cried a voice, I recognized it, it was the boss. "And you really were the best, but we need you to solve-"
"No! Stop right there! Jane and I did everything we could to get the fuck away and have a nice life, so if you really are in need of me and perhaps my Jane. You either come yourself or send someone here! Capiche!?" I aggressively hung up.
"They must be so desperate" said Jane "I also feel sorry for them"
The next morning I got up, had my breakfast, took a shower, brushed my teeth, petted the dog and hugged my wife goodbye.
I sat and stamped books in the Library. Everything was quiet.
" 'Scuse me?" said the voice of a child with a british accent "D'you speak English, sir?" I looked down to see a young boy about 10 to 12 years-old. I assumed he thought I was Norwegian.
"Yes" I answered "And what can I help you with?"
he struggled to bring up a book entitled "Matboksen"
"I'm learning Norwegian" said the adorable boy.
"And 'Matboksen' means 'Lunch box'
"I'm learning already. But does this have dragons in it?"
"No"
"Does it have Blood and guts?"
"No, what are you even-"
"Then why is it in your Library?"
"Are you gonna borrow it or not?"
The child's parents arrived.
"Are you bothering our son?" asked the mother.
"Mummy, we must get rid of this book, it doesn't have blood or guts or dragons!"
"Not all books need blood or guts or dragons" said the father. "But for your sake, I will borrow this book"
I watched them walk out with the book after they signed their names on a paper. The same event happs everyday, except, of course, without the child. A few weeks later I was in my position at the Library when I saw Officer Heinz and my former boss enter. Officer Heinz pointed at my direction upon recognizing.
"William!" cried my former boss. Everyone inside raised their index finger and shushed.
"Well, I certainly didn't expect this" I whispered "What the fuck are you two doing here?"
"To bring the client to you" said officer Heinz.
"What? How many times do I have to tell you I don't wanna be in anymore-" I paused to think "Fine fine fine! I'm usually off by 4:30pm so you're gonna have to wait. Go and gaze upon the beauty of the books. The English section is over there. Now shoo"
I watched them pricelessly react to a big plot twist from one of the books. The former boss gasped loudly and was shushed. Officer Heinz just widened his eyes.
When the time came they led me to a hotel.
"I need to be home soon, my wife Jane is blind incase you forgot. And do we have to be this high up?"
"He chose room 221" explained officer Heinz. They led me in and to my astonishment a man wearing a mouse-colored overcoat and deerstalker stood looking out the window, playing a beautiful piece of the violin.
"You are not going to believe this" said the former boss. The man stopped playing the violin and turned around. His face was long and had cheekbones sharp as a knife.
"Hello" said he. in a deep English accent "You've been to a town full of idiots and had a traumatizing experience with your job I perceive"
"Hi?" I responded, questionably "I'm William Habitat. Why have these two shitty dumplings brought me to you?"
"They thought I could use some help from another brilliant mind"
I was flattered upon being called brilliant.
"Although, you have a habit of spouting cuss words, we'll get along splendidly! My name is Sherlock Holmes" he shook my hand and smiled.
"Huh?" I glanced at him in confusion knowing that Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character.
"You are very worried about your blind wife and need to be home immediately. I will be waiting for you here tomorrow after your shift. Good night"
he pushed me out and closed the door.
"Right, you two!" I scolded the former boss and Officer Heinz. "I demand a brief fucking explanation as to why you fucking introduced me to a man pretending to be a fictional character. Tomorrow, here! same time! I'm bringing my wife!" I rushed away and got home by 6:12pm. I apologized to Jane for coming home late and explained what had happened.
"Uh, What?" she asked, confused.
"This is why i'm bringing you tomorrow"
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