Chương 36: Last chapter before we arrive at the City (serious)
Was it worth it to burn my last 9 powerstones on a narrator saying that stupid text? Yes, it was perfect. Did it change the fact that the city was nowhere to be seen... nooope.
So my ass was still walking forward in hopes of making any progress in this story. Sadly, I had run outta ways to make this bit any more fun. Even the System agreed that the entire thing had "run" its course.
The puns were long bad and there was nothing more to mention, nothing more to make fun of.
I might even need to talk about the gigantic floating Tv-Screen in the sky, which I refused to talk about for many reasons. First of all, I had forgotten about it previously and second of all... it was by far the worst case of brain fart I ever had.
How would I even address its existence? "Look at the Endless Grasslands, where the grass is green and the sky has a gigantic TV Screen showing the life of the MC"
Never would that thing be mentioned; it was a nightmare in the novel itself and it should rot in the dropped novel hell where it belonged.
Simply acknowledging its existence should show how desperate I was in search of content to entertain my readers with. Where were the clan elders to repeat and fill the word count, when they were needed?
Instead of verbally jerking of their MCs they should just add their commentary to this novel and help me fill these chapters with utter nonsense. The content machine should never stop.
How else were readers expected to understand how awesome a person can be... one really had to shove it down their throat over and over again. Else they might not realize the sheer epicness of whatever negligible thing the MC had done.
Yes, everything they do had to be the biggest event possible. From taking a dump to solving cancer; it was your god-given duty as an author to showcase the badass your MC truly was.
[Soz, for chiming in, but this whole ranting thingy had run its course. We gotta go to the City of clothes asap. So take this copyrighted item and use it]
I received strange advice with a big button on it that said " Teleportation device" and without any thinking whatsoever I clicked on it.
Should I have thought more about it? Nah, I could not let my zero readers wait any longer. They deserved to finally see the real content. But, after pressing the button nothing happened. Was this just a metaphor that like the button, nothing happened if the author of a story was pressed into action?
[Nope, it just ain't working.]
Here I thought that this story was trying to make a statement about the working conditions and the demanding audience... how silly of me.
[What a horrible quality. Seriously, what are these things good for?]
Maybe, they could be used as a clever way to just skip this novel altogether and enter a brand new story. Cuz you know, I do think this setting had run its course. Was there anything left that needed to be made fun of here?
[Though do the readers not expect that kind of twist, after you mentioned it? ]
Eh, you got me there. Maybe I should simply walk forward as I used to, cuz people like consistency the most. And nothing was as consistent as constantly recycling the same jokes.
[Nope, you pulled that sorta stunt already and see where it let us? Down the rabbit hole of making chapters interesting.]
[Let us just return to distract the readers with shiny new content. We gotta pretend that this setting has more to offer than a bunch of naked dudes and grass.]
How would we be doing that? Pressing a button of a teleporter and then we start hoping that this situation can be stretched and prolonged far enough to fill another chapter with it? Which reader would not see straight through this and call us out on this bs tactic?
It would require a severe lack of brain cells for us to get away with it. Talking about this directly was not very helpful either. The more we pointed it out, the more people would start to see that these were just sentences to prevent the plot from taking place.
[Weird, why would anyone be thinking that? Cuz people loved filler like these]
Why would the people prefer these faked interactions over any valuable, meaningful actions and events? It just feels awkward to repeat the same topic and just rephrase it in slightly different words. It just was not right to pull that kind of scummy move.
I mean, I was well aware that this story direly needed to get to the damn City. But, the journey was also part of the story and simply teleporting there was defeating its purpose.
Nobody should be skipping parts of the story and jumping straight to the fun stuff.
Look, I have been saying the same stuff over and over again and feel horrible about it─this could never satisfy any readers. There must be more to a story than just spamming words and pretending that the number of words somehow increased the writing quality.
I was just standing here doing literally nothing worthwhile. All I did was waste the reader's time; time they would never get back.
Life was so short already and here they spent it reading about a dude ranting about pointless topics... and worst of all they do not gain a single thing from reading this work.
If there was any lesson to be learned or wisdom to be gained then at least people could gain something from this mess. Instead, all this work had to offer was a malfunctioning teleport button and even more empty words.
Let me demonstratively press the button again and watch as it mysteriously would start to work.
Oh, it did not work, how very surprising. One might have thought that this would have never happened.
Next came the obvious reveal from the system why it had not worked out, cuz this story was so very original.
[Are you a psych? Though, yeah it only works when the chapter has at least 1000 words in it.]"
...Really? How oddly convenient, a device that just works after another chapter had been wasted on another pointless discussion... What a strange development.
[Really fam, take a look at its backside]
With nearly infinite enthusiasm I turned the device around and read..." Only works with at least 1000 words in a chapter". You gotta be kidding me.
Was this really how this would end? All of this for just pressing a button?
I sighed heavily and pressed the button... "Where would this mysterious teleport device lead me to? I sure hope it leads me to the City, else I would prolly be really pissed off"
Woohoo, a portal opened and I walked into it... and I finally arrived at that GOD DAMN City.
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