/ Anime & Comics / Sun Sun fruit in one piece
Sun Sun fruit in one piece
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Tóm tắt
After getting reincarnated with the abilities of sunshine, Ra makes the best of his new life establishing his own path while trying his hardest to ensure that his pride which knows no bounds does not hinder the path that he treads in the pirate world.
**This is the first time I am writing a fanfic and I am not really sure where I am headed with it but I'll try my best to keep it interesting. Thanks for reading.**
Thẻ
Người hâm mộ
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![An_lf_line]()
An_lf_line Đóng góp 21 -
![Sameer_Rasal]()
Sameer_Rasal Đóng góp 10 -
![Void_Overlords]()
Void_Overlords Đóng góp 10
Tình trạng nguồn điện hàng tuần
-- Xếp hạng
Quyền lực 
-- Đá
Quyền lực Bạn cũng có thể thích
3Các đánh giá
- Chất lượng dịch thuật
- Tính ổn định của các bản cập nhật
- Phát triển câu chuyện
- Thiết kế nhân vật
- Bối cảnh thế giới
Chia sẻ suy nghĩ của bạn với người khác
Viết đánh giá
Why are you shifting point of view all the time, It doesn’t make for a good story. Sometimes it makes sense but you shift POVs at random and it takes you out of the story. Keep to one POV som one can get to know the main character. The premise of the story was the thing that drew me to this story. But since you hope around the characters like pinball I am out. Good luck with your writing.
Nothing much just the repeated pov changes breaks the pace and stability of readers, still overall good till. Hope u can continue coz all escanor inspired fanfics gets dropped out. There is even one sun power based in onepiece fanfic but the power scaling went absurd levels then dropped. So hope u let the mc develop and don't make smth like sin of pride directly
don't mind the other rude reviewer. you are learning so it's always good to understand . and I agree hopping pov around is bad. stick to 1 and only swap when necessary. otherwise the story has good premise and all the best for your story . as you write you will get better . everyone has to start somewhere. cheers and have fun writing .