Star Wars The Deceiver

Writing quality: 3/5 Generally average, ocasionally changing POV’s and with some minor SGI mistakes. Updating stability: 3/5 As the book is relatively new (2 chapters) I am unable to rate it on this. But the average should be adequate for now. Story development: 2/5 It is too early to judge it accurately, but it is likely it isn’t a sustainable story. It is based off wish-fulfilment and therefore ‘simple’ in its design and presentation. It is also important to note that the author frequently changes the POV’s, which hampers story development. Character design: 3/5 The character is the author himself, inserted into the position of an inquisitor with ancient Sith knowledge and skills, it is an overpowered character, who has ‘Gary sue’ tendencies. It’s developement is limited as the author likely won’t gravitate far from his own persona, thus potentially harming the character’s development. World Background: 5/5 As it is an ‘insert’ fanfiction, it is automatically assumed the world is the Star Wars galaxy, and therefore it inappropriate to judge the author on this. If anyone has any questions ask them in the comments. (Preferably before the message is a month old)I should answer within a work day. If you are looking for improvements, you should start from creating a balanced character, eliminate the ancient Sith and the transmigration, leave the Inquisitor who experiences a part of the Emperor’s memories. Or a Fleet Admiral who is stationed at the retreating endor fleet’s location and is therefore able to receive the information earlier. Additionall you should use a grammar checking software or AI. Consider creating an update schedule for your works. Look into writing styles, in order to present intentions and information in a more ‘natural’ way. Like: “The First Brother suddenly fell to his knees and started screaming as if he was being torn apart, then, suddenly he stopped and only said one thing: “The Emperor is Dead.” The Bridge fell into disarray, all denying their supreme leader was dead.” Please don’t treat my advise as gospel, I am not a professional writer, and my advise only comes from extensive reading experience.