Chương 28: Messing around.
Me and the crew spent the next five days docked here passing the time training up the newbies. Sofya, Quetzalcoatl and Lily all lack in haki compared to the rest of the crew. Gimlet is also trying to learn but he's too young to learn armament so senor took it upon himself to train his family.
My training method for them is to wear noice cancelling ear phones and blind folds. Then I would chuck a mix of bean bags and rocks at them. The danger comes from the rocks which they need to dodge whilst they need to strike back against the bean bags.
When I see them adapting I use shave and moonwalk to attack them from every angle. To stimulate their armament I sometimes coat the beanbags in it so that when they collide with their weapon or fists they can gain a minute understanding. Quetzal has actually already began some form of haki training herself. In her words "true royals should know how to fight, no princess or queen should become a damsel in distress".
I can't argue with her logic when I see girls like Vivi, Shirahoshi and Rebecca. Sofya and lily are also making tremendous progress, sofya has a strong body thanks to her devil fruit breaking down her food and directly absorbing nutrients which made her much stronger and more durable. Lily is still a giant no matter what size, she learned how to wield the power of her true size whilst she is shrunk down.
Both can unlock their armament rather quickly because of these reasons which means observation should be a priority. My method should prove to be the most effective. Granny said another way to awaken observation haki is to poison oneself to induce a hallucinogenic state of mind. I wish I had known that before I had to fight penguins barrelling towards me like bullets to unlock mine.
In the meantime the other members of the crew took advantage of the fact that this island is an information hub. All the bar owners report to one organisation or another as an informant. So a needle to the head or a ring on the finger would make them spill the beans quite quickly.
Muret, Lami and Sugar have spent their time perusing the wine options of jaya, aka robbing every ship that docks here for booze, berries and berries (money).
When I wasn't training the girl I was actually speaking with luffy, his adventures aren't as fast paced as they are in the manga. He does actually take a few days to explore each island rather than just steam roll through the grand line. During this time I oversaw his own devil training, told him good work out routines that he should follow to beat his grandfather and then I told him sabo was alive. What?
I wanted to see what would happen~ turns out he tried to beat me for slandering his dead brother until I showed him a bounty of Sabo. Then he broke down and I got to witness his elasticised boogers *shiver*. He ugly cries, no wonder he covers his face with the hat. The rest of the crew avoid me bare zoro who listens in on my tips and tricks.
Nami told usopp and chopper about me so they think I'm a literal demon. Didn't help that Robin backed it up by confirming what I'd actually done along with some minor stuff during my training in the north blue. Sanji..... well he wants me dead, when he found out that I had a harem he rocketed towards me like he was a hero on a holy crusade. Fucker was even wielding knives, so much for his rule.
His face reminded me of Hotaru Haganezuka from devil slayer after he finds out someone broke his swords. The sheer bloodlust leaking from his was incredible. It all stopped when I said I know he's a vinsmoke, then he nearly died of laugher when I told him what I did to yonji and finally his bloodlust returned after he heard I "fraternised with his saint of a sister".
My eyebrow twitched when I remembered his background with her and then her background as a super soldier killing machine with an affinity for poisoning people. It was pretty funny pissing him off, so I decided to be petty in the form of generosity.
"Sanji calm down, tell me do you have a wanted poster yet". "What's it too you bastard?!?!" I shrugged my shoulders.
"Oh nothing at all, it's just I have a book filled with horny marine girls from my granny's crew who are desperate for a good man. I only have one of me right now. If you don't have a bounty then maybe you could give them a call. With their status they could be at the next island in days for a date".
He immediately bowed to me and called me "shisho!!!!!" I almost feel kinda bad for him, almost. "Here you go, her names Glenda. She's big breasted and has beautiful green hair like something out of a garden". I handed him Glenda's den den mushi number. He had heart eyes imagining some slender mildly muscles beauty who would threaten to "lock him up~"
He took off back to the ship to make the call while I snickered first myself. I didn't lie at all, she is big breasted because she's incredibly fat and her hair does resemble something out of a garden, a bush.
{A/N if you google tsuru crew member and look at the one with green hair you'll understand immediately why this is so funny}.
Later that day Sanji came to me in tears thanking me about how she was going to come meet him at water 7 for a hot steamy date. He asked me what she likes so I replied "uhhhh, well she wore yellow a lot with a rouge neck tie." He nodded sagely so I continued thinking about Glenda, she was a marksman and looked like a hippo to me. So I thought about what a hippo would like "hmm she likes being in water and water melon. Just show up and hand her a watermelon."
He thanked me before scurrying away again to search for a supplier for premium watermelon. I hope that I arrive in time to see their meeting, no in fact pray for that to happen. Inanna please!!! I need to see that! I'm picturing him freezing and scattering away into the winds in pure shock.
As I told the girls about it later at dinner they nearly died of laughter as they'd seen sanji and how perverted he was. When they jokingly punched my shoulder and said "you shouldn't mock Glenda-san" I replied "why shes about to get a chew toy I mean boy toy" and they broke down laughing again.
The next morning I went back into mock town and found the place destroyed. I pulled some punk and asked "oi what happened?" He nearly wet himself before shakily replying "strawhat luffy cane last night demanding gold from Sarquis the hyena. Then he decked him into the ground and took the gold. People are taking off before joker arrives". I scratched my chin before forming a smile "joker huh?"
Meanwhile Sarquis called Joker to ask for assistance. When he was greeted with a feminine voice "who is it?"
"Mr Joker sama, my names Sarquis a proud member of the donquixote pirates. I'm currently at Jaya and have came across some really troublesome people. Strawhat luffy attacked me and took the gold before I could donate it to the crew and an ex member of whitebeards crew is here raising a ruckus."
" ku ku ku ku I see~ anything else?" Pondered doffy as she thought about how she should punish this Sarquis on the other end. Sarquis must have sensed he was in danger so he shakily replied "another big name is here, the Devil dick Bellamy is here!" Suddenly a screeching noise echoed from the snail. Doffy had drove her nails into the metal table and dragged her hands towards the snail lifting it up to her eye level.
The poor snail was trembling In fear as it peered through the glasses and caught a glimpse at the manic eyes behind it. "Did you Bellamy?!? As in the one from North Blue?!?!" Sarquis felt a wave of pressure come through his snail so he replied "yes ma'am!"
Doffy would normally threaten anyone with death for calling her ma'am but now she has bigger fish to fry. The one person besides the dragons that she wants dead the most. Bellamy——-
Back to bellamy he was sitting in a bar watching a massive water pillar blast into the air miles away accompanied by screaming from those riding atop it. He laughed his head off at the noise of the Strawhats screaming about how Luffy is a moron and how they're gonna die.
Beside Bellamy was Muret, Quetzal, sugar and Monet enjoying the show. They continued enjoying their meal while casually chatting. Muret was telling them about interesting developments around the world such as marine activity, doflamingo's movements, other countries activities and cool places that have been freshly discovered.
Later the doors of the bar they were sitting in was kicked open and a familiar fat man stormed in. "Damn it, my plan needed Straw hat to succeed. He freshly pissed off the government with his stunt in Alabasta. Where am I gonna find someone at his level to get the shichibukai position. I've been building up so much good will with the government so I could get the warlord spot as an act of Amnesty. Tch I need a high bounty to turn in!"
*slurp* "this cocktail is not to bad" slipper into Teach's ears. He spun around and saw a familiar blond man sitting at a table sampling his drink. The gears turned in his head as he remembered Bellamy's bounty. {Devil Bellamy- 450,000,000} which is the average level of a new world pirate. Catching someone of his level would allow me the warlord position.
Those chumps patrol the grand line and normally catch newbies before they enter the new world. If I can catch someone at new world level it shows I'm good for the spot, plus this one has a habit of pissing off the government. Thought teach as a sadistic grin graced his face. He walked to the counter and ordered some snacks before leaving quietly giving Bellamy a deep look.
Of course our protagonist noticed, Bellamy grew a similar grin. Perhaps I should crush whitebeard now Bellamy pondered before continuing to drink his cocktail before switching to water. He'll need to sober up for this.
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