Chương 36: Sleep

Soon enough after the princess spoke her last word, it had gotten easier to push things out of Prince Qui's mind. His arm was already growing numb with the weight of the princess' head on his bicep. He tried flexing his fingers and when they moved, there was something ticklish on his nerves.

He sighed, wanting to move but he did not want to wake the motionless princess. Prince Qui tried breathing exercises. It was something that Jinghua (Doctor Friend) taught him. It was after the first time he had come back after being on a journey outside the wall. Ever since then, he did not know what real sleep was like.

There were some remedies. One was alcohol but that was not a good idea at all. He had high-tolerance with that liquid that made people drunk and lose their memories of the night, but it only made the prince's waking moment harder.

It was especially worse when he did not consume enough. He would only be half-drunk and he would still dream. Then he would be jolted awake, springing up from his bed, feeling like he had just gotten a heart attack.

So that was off the table.

He tried sleeping pills too. But he did not like the feeling when sleep was forcing him to come with it. It made him want to crawl out of bed and sweat the pills off. He did not like the feeling of being half-conscious, half-asleep, and half-awake. In the battlefield, that would mean your death.

Another thing was, he did not want to get addicted into anything. He knew that if he got used to a practice it would only make him want more. Additional factor was that he never knew when he would be coming back. What if he ran out of supply? That would also mean death in the battlefield.

Probably the most healthy way that he could get himself to sleep was when he was so tired that closing his eyes would be the only thing that he would be able to do. But most of the time, it also did not work.

He would lay in bed, staring at the darkness of the back of his eyelids, tired, and wishing he was going to fall asleep.

Just like tonight.

It happened all the time that he was not disappointed anymore that he was not able to fall asleep. That was fine. He was used to it. Even his body was already fine with a couple of hours of sleep for the whole day—sometimes even for two or three.

As he could not sleep anyway, he thought about the conversation he had with the princess. What was all these death talks? Was she wondering where her money would be when she died? She did try to kill herself not so long ago. Was that for money?

As far as Prince Qui knew, Princess Lin Yingyue did not have money of her own. When his father kidnapped her, the only thing that she took with herself from Shanmai Empire were the clothes that she was wearing.

How was she going to earn money? She was living in the palace for free. It was not like she had a job. She was simply existing in the palace—one of the treasures that it was trying to protect.

She would be able to get money once she marries in their family. Being a princess (married to a prince) would mean that she would be getting a monthly allowance, like the Empresses (but really most of the luxury items like shoes and bags were free from the designers themselves.)

Now, if the princess married and then died, was she trying to learn where her money would go? Was she going to send it back to Shanmai? But what good would that do? Shanmai already rose up long ago from the demise that their slain emperor caused. Her emperor brother was surely in no need for money.

So why?

He was getting frustrated. He should not even care. But for him, he knew that he did not want her to die. Her death would mean that the Shanmai army could finally march to Heping and destroy them once and for all.

Prince Qui buried those thoughts in his head and he smiled when the darkness in the back of his eyes got darker.

Oh, he was going to fall asleep tonight after all. He quieted his mind and he envisioned wrapping the darkness around his body, shutting him out of the world—away from all the bad dreams—

The princess moved, bringing him back to consciousness. She moaned quietly, as if in protest as she shifted. Her eyes were still close when she switched to her right side, scooting closer to the prince, a fair arm landing on his chest. The prince's body tensed when he felt her leg dropped on top of his thigh.

He completely stopped breathing, staring up at the ceiling.

"Hmmm," she moaned, tucking her head closer to the prince's chest. The smell of fruits entered his nose and he realized it must have been the shampoo from earlier this morning in the bath. The princess' body was so close to his that their heat mixed together.

"Tsk," the princess said as the wind blew. She irritatedly flicked a thin strand of short hair away from her face.

He was convinced that she had fallen back to sleep when he heard her "tsk"-ed again and combed her hair to keep it from going to her face.

Prince Qui raised a hand and lightly pinned the stray hair under his fingertips. This would be the first night the princess was going to be able to sleep. It would be a shame to cut it short just because of hair.

He turned a little so he could see her face. She was really getting paler and she looked sickly. He hoped that tomorrow some color would return to her.

He smirked silently, thinking about her red face. Oh, he could imagine it already. She would be screaming at the top of her lungs, furious that she had curled to him while she slept. Probably, she would scramble away from him and fall on her butt.

But tonight, they would have peace.

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