Chương 53: Secrets of Rocket V: Surprise, But a Welcome One
She blushed even more, her eyes sparkling with a mix of embarrassment and happiness, and she turned around, trying to act all professional. I had to admire her determination as she led me down the hallway, her shoulders squared and her steps purposeful. It was endearing, and I had to suppress a laugh.
"So, uh, what's this room over here?" I asked, gesturing to a closed door as we passed by. I kept my voice casual, like I was just making conversation. But really, I was testing her. Seeing if she knew her stuff because I sure as fuck didn't.
She glanced at the door, her brow furrowing in thought. "That's, um, the storage room for our extra Poké Balls, sir," she said, her voice soft but confident.
I nodded, impressed. "And what about this one?" I asked, pointing to another door.
She bit her lip, her eyes darting to the side as she tried to remember. "I think that's the training room, sir," she said, her voice filled with uncertainty. "Or maybe it's the break room. I can't quite remember."
I chuckled, shaking my head. "Well, close enough," I said, my voice filled with amusement. "At least you're trying."
She let out a sigh of relief, her shoulders sagging slightly. "Thank you, sir," she said, her voice soft and filled with gratitude.
As we continued down the hallway, I pointed to another door, this one slightly ajar. "And what about this one?" I asked, my voice filled with curiosity.
She paused, her eyes widening as she peered inside. "Oh, um, that's the... that's the experimentation room, sir," she said, her voice barely a whisper.
I raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Experimentation room, huh?" I said, my voice filled with mischief. "Sounds interesting. What kind of experiments do they do in there?"
She blushed, her eyes darting away nervously. "Um, I-I'm not sure, sir," she stammered, her voice soft and uncertain. "I think they test different Pokémon abilities and... and other things. I can get you a detailed report for recent experiments if you want"
I grinned, my mind racing with all sorts of ridiculous possibilities. "Other things, huh?" I asked mischievously, "Like what? Trying to teach a Snorlax to break dance?"
She let out a shocked laugh, her hand flying to her mouth. "Sir!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with surprise.
I laughed, shaking my head. "Relax, I'm just joking," I said, my voice filled with humor. "But seriously, what kind of stuff do they do in there?"
She bit her lip, her eyes filled with a mix of embarrassment and determination. "I-I really don't know, sir," she said, her voice soft but sincere. "I'm not usually involved in that kind of work."
I shrugged, a smirk playing on my lips. "Well, that's a shame," I said, my voice filled with mock disappointment. "Because I bet they do some seriously wacky stuff in there. Like, 'teaching a Psyduck to do stand-up comedy' kind of wacky."
She choked out a laugh, her cheeks turning a deep shade of red. "Sir, please," she said, her voice filled with a mix of shock and amusement.
He's so different today, she thought to herself. He always used to be all cold and strict, but now he's cracking jokes and being so... so goofy. It was a side of him she had never seen before, and she couldn't help but find it oddly charming. She shook her head slightly, trying to focus on the task at hand, but she couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth.
So, we finally fucking made it to the main cloning lab. The holy grail of Poké-perversity. I turned to the grunt, who was still blushing like a fucking Christmas light.
"Alright, sweet cheeks," I said, giving her a wink. "You stay here and keep watch, yeah? Or better yet, go take a fucking break. Give your poor, sore pussy a time-out."
Her blush deepened to a shade that would make a fucking tomato jealous, and she nodded squeakily. "Y-yes, sir," she stammered, her voice barely audible. I swear, it was like trying to listen to a mouse fart.
I chuckled, shaking my head. "Fucking adorable," I muttered, before turning and pushing open the lab door.
You think I will push the door? Fat Chance.
I kicked open the door to the main cloning lab like a goddamn action hero, ready for whatever fucked-up sights awaited me inside.
And let me tell you, brother, I was not disappointed. The scene was straight out of a mad scientist's wet dream: rows upon rows of gleaming, humming machines, glass tubes filled with what I could only assume were failed clone experiments of various Pokémon, and a horde of white-coated researchers scurrying around like lab-rat gods.
The air was thick with anticipation, and as soon as I stepped foot in that sterile hellhole, every pair of eyes in the room turned to me like I was the fucking messiah. "Good morning, Boss Giovonni!" they chorused, their voices the perfect blend of obedience and fear. I mean, if I didn't know any better, I'd think they were jerking off to my management style.
I let the moment linger for a beat, then tapped into my inner nonexistent evil boss energy and growled, "What the fuck is this? A goddamn morgue? You lazy fucks are working slower than a goddamn Squirtle with a shell full of lead! How the fuck do you expect Team Rocket to fulfill our destiny of world domination at this goddamn snail's pace?!" I berated them for a solid five minutes, letting my voice echo through the lab like a fucking symphony of terror.
By the time I was done, the researchers were practically quivering in their boots, and I could practically smell the sweet scent of progress. I surveyed my kingdom of chaos, then pointed to one of the researchers who looked like he had just swallowed a Bitter Berry.
"You," I snapped. "Show me to Professor Fuji. Now."
The researcher nodded so fast I thought his head might come off, then scurried over to me like a frightened Pidgey. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and instead followed him to Fuji's office. Time to find out just how deep this rabbit hole went.
The dude guides me into this corner office-like room, attached to the main lab like an afterthought. It's dimly lit, like a goddamn goth club, and the hum of even more machinery fills my ears. The room's got this weird, sterile vibe, and I can almost smell the antiseptic, mixed with a hint of desperation.
In the dead center, this fucker's hunched over like Quasimodo, his back to me. I strut in like I own the place, which, let's be real, I fuckin' do. I clear my throat and drop the bomb: "Professor Fuji, I heard you called me here urgently?" My voice is colder than a Popsicle left in a blizzard.
Oh, joy. Another delightful interaction I can't fucking wait to endure.
Fuji spins around, looking like a man who just realized he left his coffee maker on. His eyes are this wild mix of urgency and frustration, like he's trying to decide whether to shit or wind his watch. "Boss, we need to move the facility to another area immediately," he blurts out, like he's just delivered the secret to eternal life.
I arch an eyebrow, cool as a goddamn cucumber. "Why the sudden need for relocation?" I ask, feigning interest. I mean, I'm the fucking boss, right? I gotta at least pretend to care about this drama.
Fuji sighs like he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and starts running a hand through his (totally nonexistent) hair. This dude is really selling the mad scientist look. "The only Mewtwo that's survived the Gamma stage has now entered its Beta growth period. The thing's starting to wake up, and its psychic energy is leaking like a goddamn sieve."
I mean, what the actual fuck's a "Gamma stage" and why should I give a rat's ass about some dribbling Mewtwo? Might as well be speaking fucking Klingon.
Alright, so this "Gamma stage" thingamajig is about as clear to me as fucking quantum physics. Might as well be trying to decipher fucking hieroglyphics.
Honestly, that Mewtwo could hump a goddamn Pikachu and it wouldn't make a goddamn difference to me. Shit, why the fuck did my brain go there? Now I'm stuck with the mental fucking image of a giant psychic cat getting its freak on. Like I don't have enough fucking problems!
But hey, I figure I should at least pretend to care about this shit, or else this brainiac professor might just lose his fucking marbles. So I ask, "Alright, explain this whole growth period thing to me."
Fuji looks annoyed, like he's wondering why the fuck I'm asking, but he goes along with it. "The growth cycle goes like this: Alpha, Beta, Gamma, and Keto stages. Every other Mewtwo clone bit the dust in the Keto stage. This one? It's a goddamn survivor. The Beta stage is like the acne-filled, hormonal teenage phase of its life, and after that, it's just gonna get stronger."
I nod, like I'm actually fucking listening. "And why the hell do we need to move this place?"
Jesus fucking Christ, just get to the point already!
Fuji gestures to the machines around us. "The underground geomagnetic fields are fucking with our psychic energy suppression tech. We need a different place to contain Mewtwo's growing power."
I think about this for a hot second. "And what happens if we don't move?"
Like I fucking care about the consequences.
Fuji's expression turns grim. "If we don't move, Mewtwo's psychic energy could go haywire. It could break free, and trust me, you do not want to know the fucking consequences."
Yeah, yeah, keep yapping, professor. I couldn't give less of a shit about catastrophic consequences. Honestly, I hope this whole shitshow goes up in flames.
I nod, my voice all cold and commanding. "I wanna see the progress of this project for myself."
Fuji looks surprised but recovers quickly. "Of course, Boss. Follow me."
He led me back to the main floor, then beelined for another corner of the lab, where some serious shit was about to go down. I could practically taste the plot twist in the air.
Maybe the Mewtwo will break out and start fucking around? Maybe some experiment might go rogue..what happens is to be seen, but what the fuck is this.
"Remind me again, Fuji, why did we install this gargantuan door that even a goddamn Wailord could swim through?" I asked, the sarcasm in my voice thicker than a Snorlax's belly fat.
Fuji looked like he'd just been hit with a Confusion attack for a split second, but he quickly shook it off. "This door, Boss, is the ultimate security measure," he explained, sounding like a textbook come to life. "If shit hits the fan inside, it'll seal up tighter than a goddamn vault. It's made of reinforced titanium alloy, pretty much indestructible."
I gaped at him, trying to process this new info. "So, you're telling me that if things go sideways, this door turns into a glorified wall? How the hell are we supposed to get in or out then, huh?"
Fuji hesitated like he was about to step on a landmine, his eyes darting around nervously. "Well, Boss, the idea is that the door will only seal in the most extreme of situations. The main goal is to contain the threat, not provide access. There are emergency protocols in place to make sure we can haul ass outta here before the door seals up."
I let out a chuckle that sounded more like a goddamn Jynx cackling. "Emergency protocols, huh? Fancy way of saying 'we're screwed if anything goes wrong.' But hey, what do I know? I'm just the fucking boss, right?"
Fuji shifted uncomfortably but didn't say a word. Instead, he turned to the control panel next to the door and started punching in some codes like he was playing a goddamn rhythm game. The door groaned louder than a goddamn Gyarados and began to slide open, revealing a massive chamber that looked like a fucking electronics store on Black Friday.
As we stepped inside, I could feel the air crackling with psychic energy, like a fucking Pikachu had just used Thunderbolt. In the center of the room, suspended in a glass tube that looked like it belonged in a goddamn sci-fi movie, was Mewtwo. Its eyes were shut, but I could feel its power radiating outward, like a goddamn heartbeat on steroids.
But wait a goddamn minute...
"What in the name of Arceus's left nut?" I muttered, my eyes practically bugging out of my head. This wasn't the goddamn Mewtwo I remembered. This was... something else.
It was smaller, thinner, and most importantly, it had goddamn boobs?!
Holy shit, is this a fucking female Mewtwo?
I turned to Fuji, my face scrunchled up like I just chomped on a Warhead. "Wait, this Mewthingy is a chick?!"
Fuji nodded like it was no biggie. "Indeed, Boss. The Mew DNA we used was of the female variety. This one's the only Mewtwo clone that didn't kick the bucket."
Holy fucknuts! This just got weird.
I sidled up to the glass tube, getting an eyeful of the pink puffball. She was chillin', eyes shut, but I could feel her psychic aura tickling my brain like a fucking feather.
"And this lil' lady's the only one who made it past Go?" I asked, trying to keep my cool.
Fuji gave another nod. "Affirmative. All the others bit the dust during the Keto stage. This one? She's special."
Well, ain't that a kick in the head.
So, this Mewtwo broad's got a face like a cat, and a rack that could give Jigglypuff a run for her money. Damn, those pink orbs with the tiny red jewels were mesmerizing. Poké-titties or not, they were something else!
I wandered closer to the tube, ignoring Fuji's squawking like he was just a goddamn Pidgey. This Mewtwo's tail was poking outta her head like some kinda mutant unicorn. Wait a minute...
Holy shitballs! It's Mega Mewtwo Y's doppelgänger!
Did these labcoat loonies cook up a perma-Mega Pokémon or somethin'?
I leaned in, my eyes bugging out like a goddamn Staryu. Her tail flowed out from the back of her skull, looking all majestic and shit. Closed eyes or not, I could imagine 'em glowing like a couple of Ghost-types.
"Careful, Boss!" Fuji yelped, sounding like I was About to press the wrong button in a nuclear missile launch sequence.
I waved him off like a goddamn Magikarp. "Relax, Doc. I'm just checkin' out our pièce de résistance!"
Pièce de fucking résistance, my ass! This is some next-level whackjobbery.
I waltzed around the tube, soaking it all in. The glittery gems on her chest were like a couple of goddamn Diamond extra shiny. Her body was sleek, sleeker than a fucking Gardevoir.
"I'll be damned," I muttered, my voice sounding all hushed and bewildered. "How the hell'd you manage this form?"
Fuji puffed up his chest like a goddamn Pigeot and said, "It was an intricate blend of advanced genetic engineering and psychic energy manipulation. We've been able to stabilize the subject in this state."
I nodded, my brain going a mile a minute. "And those... um... feminine features?"
Fuji gave a casual shrug. "As I said before, the Mew DNA we used was of the female variety. It appears to have influenced the final form of the clone."
Hot damn, is this my lucky fucking day, or what?!
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Hohoho, an 2.7K Word chapter, quite literally worth 2 chapters.
IMAGE OF CUTIE PIE MEWTWO
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