Chương 7: Chapter 6
This vampire man has a family. A family I am going to meet very soon. My dress sparkles Saphire and my hair and makeup are elegant and seductive. This is not my style- if ever I had one. I love blue but frankly, I don't want to dress this provocatively. I have on many accounts, in many ways my body is my livelihood but in this new setting, where people respect me...at least as a singer. It's like having a foot out the door, feeling what it is to be respected and looked in the eye but the other foot is still in a cage, in a dress I didn't choose, behind makeup I didn't choose.
Regardless of this, I am anticipating the vampiric family- they engage my curiosity though I fear them simultaneously. Just because they do not feed on humans does not mark them as safe for me. They could still be slave owners themselves, I mustn't let my guard down. Its been an hour or so since I first met the doctor and am on route to a rented out space for a large gathering in honor of the money raised for the hospital. I try to memorize the roads and landmarks on our journey but it is difficult with Masters overgrown fingernails digging into my upper thigh. He has grown to hold a central part of me at all times, he uses his strength and nails as some form of warning to me. The pain is dull from what I have experienced in the past. If I had acted up too much I would have died but little mistakes while in training resulted in lashings, beatings, or rape. His nails are nothing more than a nagging reminder that he is a monster who will not easily be escaped.
A part of me regrets not leaving sooner as his supervision of me has grown rather than decreased as I had expected it too. The more famous I become, the more money he makes, the less he trusts it to stay, the more he watches me. It's as if he is paranoid that the fame will end. I know that I am in no position to escape or fight yet, I have very few places to go and no people to rely on and now with the vampire family, I must remain extra careful. I must be certain that running from my master means running towards freedom- not another master. Despite how calming the Doctor is, I must not forget what he could be. I have to know more about him- even if it means facing this human master's punishment. I plan to offer a free private concert for them as appreciation for his work at the hospital and for representing the hospital during the previous charity concert. Master will not like it but I'm learning that he will not publically dismiss it- that would look bad for him. With any luck, the vampire doctor will accept and my punishment will be worthwhile. I have yet to disobey so I am not sure what will be waiting for me but whatever it is- I can handle it. I can't escape without risk- I must be willing to hurt if I plan to heal, and I do plan to heal. I'll heal from the Trade, I'll heal from the death of my parents, I'll move on from this. I will heal.
Once we arrive at the gala I see people talking and eating. Few people dance in an open space while soft music plays in the background. It is a lovely setting. A few girls look judgingly at my attire and I feel myself blush in embarrassment. I don't normally care about my exposure but for a long time I couldn't afford to care- it was survival. This is survival. I remind myself this before composing myself and keeping pace with master so that his tight grip doesn't show. We greet people after people as we are the guests of honor but I see, at a large table, a group of vampires pretending to eat and conversing with one another. A yellow-haired woman and a large man sit romantically together and a beautiful heart-shaped vampire's gaze follows the doctors' figure. Beside her, alone, eyes adrift is the head of a boy with blonde hair. He is the only one who's face I can't see. He His head turns, looking around, almost as if for a distraction, when his eyes meet mine. Shock crosses his face and then I am overcome with peace and happiness. It's like some sort of charm. I try to fight it but I can't help but be fearless, careless and almost reckless. I look away from the boy, my heart beating faster than I expected it too. I am happy, calm, yet my heart is beating in my ears. What is wrong with me? Why can't I find a way to be afraid?
While in this confusion, Doctor Cullen approaches us and I am forced to ignore the feelings.
"Hello Doctor Cullen, this is a beautiful event- thank you and the hospital for arranging it," I say, politely, earnestly and completely without permission. This was not the play I wanted to make- not like this not now. Still, though, I wasn't fretting. I continue with my plan. "As thanks, I would like to offer your family a private concert, any time you'd like."
Masters' hand tightens at my elbow but relaxes unexpectedly after. At the same moment, I am no longer under that charm from before- though my heart still beats wildly and I urge to turn to meet his curiously pained gaze. His pain isn't exterior, his pain lies all throughout those eyes of his. Loneliness and difference- both can be tormenting, smothering.
"We would be honored to accept, My son Edward loves music and Jasper, sitting at that table with my wife Esme, is quite the fan."
He's lying. I can tell that he is, the boy's eyes held no recognition of me. Even when he had the shocked expression, I feel that it was something else the shook his composure. Regardless, I am getting what I want and oddly enough I am uneasy with masters light hold of me- he couldn't be trusting me so easily, especially after disobeying. Something is changing, something out of my control.
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