Chương 16: Sixteen

It didn't take a genius to figure out that Lucas was avoiding Elijah. Everything was just fine until the previous night. When morning came, Lucas was eerily silent on their way back to the camp. The Lucas who was always the first volunteer to sit right next to Elijah was now sitting at the other end of group. And it wasn't like Elijah didn't notice the way he ran off the moment he saw the blonde holding up the same number, and when he ran off again after talking to Alex. If it had stopped there, maybe Elijah would have assumed it was all just a coincidence. But then Alex told him that Lucas had swapped numbers with him and it didn't take long to put two and two together. Elijah could only assume the other was uncomfortable because of the whole cuddle fest that happened the previous night but it was Lucas himself who told him to stay. If anything, this was his own fault.

He couldn't even enjoy the victory of being the first team to reach the top of the hill. And as much as Alex was great company, clearly one of the smarter and more mature ones of the group, he still couldn't help but feel annoyed with the elder's behavior. But it wasn't like he was gonna run after him for an explanation. If Lucas had something to declare, he was more than welcome to come outright and spit it out.

Eli glared at the brunette who currently had an arm around Julie as he kept whispering things into her ear and laughing with her. They were back at the camp, having a huge barbeque party and everyone was enjoying themselves along with their friends. Elijah was sitting silently next to Alex, Sam, Miles and Chris, laughing softly whenever any of them said something funny. Lucas’ friends were a lot of fun, really, but it just felt like there was something missing without the guy himself.

That night, sleep wasn't welcoming Elijah at all and Lucas next to him wasn't moving around as much, so he assumed that he had fallen asleep. But then, a few hours into the night, he heard some shuffling next to him and saw a figure leaving the tent. When he turned around, Lucas was no longer there.

I swear if he gets himself lost in the woods again...

He couldn't help but peek out from the inside of the tent. And there, he could just barely make out two faint figures holding hands and sneaking off into the woods.

Lucas and Julie.

Elijah's fists were clenching. It really bugged him that Lucas was totally ignoring him just because he found a casual fling. Sure, it was totally normal for someone his age to go have some fun but it still ticked him off, seeing them together all the time. The whole trip honestly felt kind of pointless and lame without Lucas around. Despite everything, he was actually looking forward to spending some time with him in such a new, different environment. He really considered Lucas a friend, but now he just felt betrayed.

He sighed and lay back down, staring up at the empty ceiling of the tent.

His thoughts wandered to a warm body pressed up against his side, a cold night’s breeze playing with their hair and a lone jacket draped over them.

He felt something that night. A stir in heart, something akin to how he felt when he saw Noah smile at him.

Shaking his head at his own thoughts, he closed his eyes and willed himself to fall asleep. His muscles were sore from the day’s activities and all he needed now was rest. Thankfully, after a few hours, his body gave in to the exhaustion and he fell into deep slumber. All he could remember was that Lucas never returned to the tent that night.

It was the last day of the trip. They were set to leave in the afternoon so all they did was walk around, exploring new places, and taking pictures. They even came across the clearing with the lake where Lucas and Elijah spent the first night. Eli stood by the familiar rock and looked out at the morning view of the lake, smiling to himself at the memory. He could feel someone’s gaze burning into him and he looked to the side, catching Lucas staring at him from a few feet away. He was quick to look away though, turning his attention back to Julie (who had been sticking a little too close to the brunette for Elijah's liking).

What the fuck is up with you, Lucas Kim? He thought bitterly.

Lucas was the one that convinced him to come on this stupid trip, and now he was the one avoiding him. Elijah tried not to let it bother him and actually have some fun for most of the trip, but it still irked him. Though the whole thing had its ups and downs, in the end he didn't really regret going. It was something new, something different for Elijah, the boy who hardly went anywhere except for his own house, school, and probably the bubble tea shop. It was a nice change of pace to go out on a trip with friends and classmates to a faraway place and experience new things for once. It was refreshing. And he wasn't going to let Lucas ruin it for him.

"I’M GONNA RIIIIIIDE ‘TIL I CAN’T NO MORE!”

Elijah sighed and shook his head as all the students in the bus screamed along to the obnoxiously loud music. Well, the music could barely be heard over the sound of their voices. Nonetheless, Elijah couldn't help but smile. Everyone was having so much fun, screaming loudly without a care in the world like they were kids on a road trip. It was heart-warming to watch.

But it’s all fun and games until Sam almost ended up karate chopping Elijah's head as he attempted some sort of weird tribal dance.

"Come on, Eli!" Sam grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him violently, "Loosen up a little!"

Elijah rolled his eyes and laughed. "I'll pass," he shouted over the loud music.

This time it was Sam who rolled his eyes, "Come on, bruh! Have some fun!"

"Yeah, Elijah!" Miles urged him on. Elijah looked at Alex, silently asking for help but the latter simply shrugged.

"It's our last year! Life's too short to be boring!"

Elijah flinched from the Sam's piercing voice in his ear. "Alright, alright, I got it."

Elijah briefly looked to where Lucas was sitting and he was also loudly singing along with Julie next to him. He didn't even spare Lucas a glance.

Ah, fuck it.

Elijah found himself singing along with everyone else and he couldn't help the huge grin on his face while he did it. Of course he didn't dare attempt the ridiculous dance Sam and Miles were doing, but there was a certain exhilaration that came with just belting out at the top of your lungs without really caring about what other people thought. Elijah wasn't a singer, and neither were a lot of people on that bus, but at that point no one cared. No one was judging anyone, everyone was simply having fun. As classmates, as friends, as people of the same age who were going through the same shitty life experiences in so many different ways.

Elijah wondered why he'd missed out on all this for so long.

Why he wasted what were supposed to be the best years of his life.

I think I'm going fucking crazy.

Lucas paced around in his room. All he could think about was Eli Eli Eli Eli Eli. He was aware he was avoiding the guy the whole time, and he was also aware that Elijah was aware that he was avoiding him. No matter how much he tried to distract himself with Julie during the trip, his eyes would always end up searching for a certain pale-skinned blonde. He couldn't take his eyes off of him in the bus. He couldn't take his eyes off of the big smile he had on his face as he sang in the bus along with everyone else. He looked so happy, and Lucas was completely and utterly mesmerized at the sight.

Of a guy.

Just the other night, when he had snuck off into the woods with Julie, he had pounded into her roughly as he tried to shake off the thought of Elijah from his head. And it worked, to some extent. But all he had to do was lay his eyes on him the next morning and there it fucking was again. That feeling. The feeling of a thousand butterflies going "THIS IS SPARTA!" in his stomach. And somehow, guilt.

Deep inside all he wanted to do was ditch the girl, sit next to Elijah (and take Sam's karate chops for him any day of the week) and sing with him. And feel his warmth. That amazing warmth he felt that night by the lake.

Those thoughts were scaring him. Lucas believed he was straight with all his heart and soul for the past eighteen years of his existence on Earth, the majority in which he utterly despised gays. He always believed in the basics – a guy meets a girl, they fall in love, they bang, they have kids, repeat. It was as simple as that. Clear-cut facts. Human nature. Science.

But then this one guy called Elijah fucking Quinn just had to waltz into his life and fuck up all that he thought was logic and common sense. All those lines that he drew for himself all these years that were so clear before were now all shaky and hazy. He knew he was straight all his life. But shit, with all the thoughts he'd been having about the younger lately, he realized he was now about as straight as a donkey's hind leg. What would his friends think? Surely they'd hate him for being such a fucking hypocrite, especially after everything that happened with Noah.

He couldn't do this.

He needed to stay away.

He need these feelings to go away before they really fucked him up, if they haven't already.

Elijah sighed as he stared at his suitcase.

He had been thinking about this all night.

He knew he couldn't stay here forever. He was ready now. Ready to face his parents. Ready to go home. He already knew what he was going to do.

These past few weeks had been like a roller coaster ride for him. He learned a lot about life, about friendship, about liking someone and the jittery feelings that came along with it, but most importantly about dreams and how good it felt it to chase them, to experience them.

Elijah felt like he may have misjudged a lot of people. Being on the class trip... it was like a change of perspective for him. He could see why these teenagers did the crazy things they did. He even wished he did them himself too. He realized that the thing that really mattered most in this world was happiness.

He knew exactly what he was going to do. Something he had never done before, and there was a certain thrill that came along with it.

"Eli honey! Breakfast is ready-" Mrs. Kim cut herself off when she saw Elijah stood in the room, all dressed up like he was leaving and a fully packed suitcase on the floor next to him. He smiled at her kindly.

"Elijah? Are you...?"

"Yeah... I'm going back home." He picked up the suitcase from the ground and made his way towards her, "I finally decided on what I'm going to do. Besides, I don't wanna stay here and burden you any longer."

The woman scowled, "What nonsense! It was a pleasure having you here. I wished you could stay longer. The house feels a lot less lonely with you around."

Elijah felt his heart swell at her words. Sometimes he really wished she was his own mother.

"It really means a lot to me for you to say that. But... It's about time I faced my parents again."

She smiled sadly, placing her palm on his cheek, "I know... Go do what you have to do."

"Thank you Mrs. Kim. For... everything. For opening your home to me and welcoming me with open arms. Thank you for treating me like I was your own son."

"Don't thank me, Eli. And you know you can come back here any time. My home will always be open to you. I already consider you as a son of my own."

He smiled and she pulled him in into a tight hug. He felt his chest fill with warmth at the gesture.

They say a mother's warmth is comparable to no other...

Now Elijah definitely knew it was true. He wrapped his own arms around her as she tapped his back lightly. He didn't know why, but tears welled in his eyes. He had never felt a parent's love ever before. Never a meaningful embrace nor an act of affection from those who were his own flesh and blood. Yet here she was, a woman, almost a stranger, who welcomed him into her open arms and called him her son. It was just so overwhelming for Elijah.

"Best of luck out there." She lightly pinched his cheek when she pulled away from him. He smiled down at her and all the woman could see was the smile of a child. Inside, Elijah was but a broken child. A child that simply longed for love and affection.

She was glad she could at least grant him some.

Elijah was going to say goodbye to Lucas but the latter was still asleep and he couldn't find it in him to wake him up.

"Morning mom." Lucas rubbed his eyes as he walked into the living room. He saw his mother sitting on the couch all alone.

"Good morning, Lucas." She smiled sadly at her soon.

The boy looked around the room for a second before turning to her, "Where's Elijah?"

Her smiled fell just a little bit, "He went home."

"W-What?" Lucas was now fully alert, "When?"

"He left this morning when you were asleep."

Lucas felt his heart sink in his chest, "O-Oh." The house already felt empty. Even though Elijah wasn't one to talk a lot, the house was awfully silent without him. He was a little disappointed that the blonde didn't tell him anything about his plans of leaving. But then again, he'd been avoiding him for the past couple of days. What did he expect?

"Come sit down. I'll make you breakfast."

Lucas dragged his feet to the dinner table and slumped down on a chair.

‘Maybe it's for the best.’

‘Maybe now that I won't see him around as much, I won't have to face these stupid feelings anymore.’

‘Yeah... It's good that he left...’

The head servant's eyes widened once he opened the door.

"M-Mister Elijah... You're back?"

"Hey." The blonde said with a sigh, walking into the house. He looked around. Nothing changed. Still the same obnoxious furniture, the same walls, ceilings and floors. He didn't miss it one bit, "Are mom and dad home?"

"Y-Yeah..." The servant was still trying to shake off the initial shock. The blonde hadn't showed up in weeks. "They're in the living room."

"Well... wish me luck, then." Elijah smiled at the servant, who almost gaped back in shock. The young master was so different, he looked so much brighter, and he was smiling.

"Good luck." He said, taking the suitcase from Elijah, "I'll bring this up to your room."

Elijah simply nodded at him and watched the elder leave with a sigh. Mustering up his courage, he made his way into the living room and there they were. His parents. Sitting on separate couches, his father reading through some newspaper and his mother scrolling through her tablet with her glasses on.

Nothing changed.

Elijah cleared his throat to get their attention, and indeed he did. The two looked towards his direction and their eyes widened immediately.

"Well, look who's here." His father snickered.

“I was starting to think you’d never show up. Had your fun?” His mother said with a deep scowl on her face as she put her tablet down.

"Listen..." Elijah sighed, "I'm not here to fight with you guys. I'm here for a truce."

"Truce? We're your parents, Elijah." His mother said while rolling her eyes.

"Sure." He crossed his arms, "Let's call it an agreement then."

The two looked skeptical for a second until his father leaned back in his chair, "We're listening."

"I'll do what you guys want. I'll study hard and I'll get the grades you want. I'll go to medical school. But on one condition," Elijah stated firmly, already having rehearsed his words, "You guys will have to let me go to dance classes. It's just my last year of school, at least me enjoy it. Let me go out with friends and have fun, just for the few months I have left of school. And I will give you guys what you want in return."

His mother looked at her husband, who seemed to be deep in thought. After a second, he spoke up again.

"And how do we know you're gonna stick to your promise?"

Elijah smiled.

"When have I ever lied to you guys?"

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