Elijah and Lucas were at the former's favorite bubble tea cafe, none of them uttering a word. Saying it was awkward would be an understatement. They didn’t get along very well. They were just way too different. Elijah kept contemplating on how to start a conversation as he sipped on his bubble tea.
He finally cleared his throat, breaking the awkward silence, "Let's start over."
"Huh?" Lucas blinked.
"If we're gonna be at each other's faces all the time, we're never gonna come up with a good routine. So, as much as I dislike you, I'm gonna try to overlook our differences and be nice to you. But since I'm willing to go that extra mile, you're also gonna have to try and get your head out of your ass, too. You're my partner, not my boss."
Lucas took a sip of his own bubble tea and locked eyes with the blonde. "Alright then. Let's start over. Forget about whatever we choreographed so far and let's start again. This time with less fighting. We might as well try to get along with each other for the upcoming few weeks."
Elijah smiled, "I'm glad we finally agree on something. So… tell me about yourself."
Lucas quirked an eyebrow, "Excuse me?"
"I'm not really the type to initiate friendship, so don't make this any harder for me." The blonde said, rolling his eyes.
"You want to be friends? With me?" Lucas asked in disbelief.
"As much as I don't fancy the idea I don't really have a choice."
"Eh... Okay. My name's Lucas Kim."
"I already know your name." Elijah rolled his eyes.
"How the hell am I supposed to talk about myself? That's awkward as fuck."
"Alright, alright," Elijah sighed, "How old are you?"
"Eighteen. You?"
"Seventeen."
"Seriously?"
"I skipped a grade," Elijah shrugged.
"Damn. No wonder. Should I be offended that someone a year younger than me gets way better grades?"
"Probably."
"And very straightforward too. I can see why we don't get along." Lucas chuckled.
"I could pinpoint a hundred reasons why we don't get along." Elijah stated, "But I think for at least the upcoming few weeks we should try to be civil with each other."
"You're right. But I gotta say- talking to you is like forcing shit out when you're constipated. It just doesn't flow."
Elijah scrunched up his nose, "That's a disgusting way to put it. But I guess you could say the feeling's mutual."
"Great," Lucas took a sip of his bubble tea, "So where do you plan to go to college?”
"Probably medical school. You?" Elijah preferred to keep it brief.
"Performing arts," Lucas grinned, "I'm thinking of becoming a dance teacher at a university."
Elijah smiled slightly. He had a similar dream once.
"Dance? Are you kidding? That's not an actual career! You're gonna starve! You are going to become a doctor whether you like it or not!" He remembered his mother yell.
Elijah was a little envious because Lucas looked so excited while talking about his future plans. It reminded him so much of when he was a kid. The only difference was that Lucas was actually living his dream now, doing what he loved without being ridiculed or forbidden from it.
"Hellooooo? Earth to Elijah."
"Sorry." Elijah cleared his throat, "I was just thinking about something."
"Oookay. This bubble tea is really good, by the way. I've never been here before." Lucas pointed out.
"It's my favorite. I used to come here ever since I was a kid."
"Speaking of when you were a kid, did you always have that blonde hair or did you dye it?"
Elijah lifted a brow, "What do you think?"
"Option two?"
"Yeah. I bleached it two years ago."
"But why?"
Elijah shrugged, "Just wanted to try something new."
"You don't look like the type that dyes their hair and does all that hipster bullshit."
The blonde didn't say anything and took another sip of bubble tea instead.
"I noticed you've been hanging out with that guy Noah a lot these days." Lucas suddenly said, sounding a little amused. This caught Elijah's attention.
"Yeah? So?"
"Did you know that this friend of yours is a fag?"
Elijah's eyebrow rose. He didn't know that, but more importantly he didn't like the way the word fag rolled off Lucas's tongue.
"I see. So he didn't tell you." Lucas added.
"Does it matter?"
Lucas tilted his head to the side, "Doesn't it bother you?"
"No, not at all." Elijah wasn't lying. He didn't see what the problem was. Why would Noah's sexual orientation matter to him? "Wait... Are you a homophobe?"
Lucas didn't hesitate. "Yes."
Elijah remembered Noah telling him that they used to be friends. What could have happened between them? It seemed to have something to do with the fact that Noah was gay and that Lucas was a homophobe.
"Just be careful if he falls in love with you or something." Lucas chuckled.
Elijah didn't like the way Lucas was speaking about his friend. Noah seemed to always speak fondly of Lucas- "He can be an idiot sometimes, well, most of the time, but he's a good guy." But the way Lucas talked about Noah, it was as if he was talking about something that absolutely disgusted him.
"That's ridiculous. It's like you're telling me not to talk to a girl so she doesn't fall in love with me."
"It's not the same thing."
"Listen, I didn't bring you here so that we argue again. And I'd really prefer it if we didn't talk about Noah at all from here on out."
Lucas shrugged, "Suit yourself."
"We have three weeks left to choreograph and perfect the routine. So for the time being, let's set up some ground rules." Elijah changed the topic since the previous one was starting to piss him off.
"Alright. First, no fighting."
"Okay. Second, no bossing me around. We're supposed to choreograph this together."
"But I've been in the dance club longer. Don't you think it makes sense that I come up with the moves?"
"Yes because that has worked beautifully this past week." Elijah rolled his eyes sarcastically, "How about suggestions rather than shoving your ideas down my throat? Maybe we could come up with something better if we combined our ideas."
"Alright, alright. Fine. We're equal partners. But you need to stop calling me an idiot and stuff like that."
"I will if you stop calling me a rod."
And on and on they went. They talked over practice room rules for another half an hour or so until they were both tired of each other's company. However, Elijah was still bothered by the way Lucas spoke about Noah. And it didn't stop bothering him until he got home and took a nap.
What actually happened between those two?
Surprisingly for the next week, things were going a lot better in the practice room. They weren't cursing at each other all the time and were actually coming up with some good moves. Elijah kept his promise by being nice to the brunette and the other stopped bossing him around as much. They were almost done with the choreography and all that would be left then was perfecting it and making a few tweaks here and there. For the two days in a week that they had dance class, they'd practice the group choreography with the rest of the club members and then go to Lucas's place for an hour or so to practice their routine. Thankfully his mother was never home when they went there, so Elijah didn't have to explain himself. If by any chance she mentioned to his parents that he had been dancing, he would be so screwed.
Elijah's last class was a free one so he was sitting cross-legged on the bench at the school terrace, headphones shoved in his ears and eyes closed. No one actually ever went up there, always opting for the hotspot that was the school cafeteria, which Elijah was a little thankful for. There, he could have his peace and quiet. The last couple of days had been exhausting with all the dance practice and studies. He had to cut off a couple hours of sleep to finish homework and to get some studying done. Nonetheless, Elijah was happy. His dream was going to dance class with other students and it was finally coming true. But the thought that this was all temporary was always nagging at the back of head. It was just this last year of school and then that was going to be it. Medical university. No more dancing. If there was one thing he could be thankful for though, it was that he wasn't being forced to take over his father's business, because that would have been even worse that medical school. Elijah's father and his brother started up the company together twenty years ago and, fortunately enough, the latter had two sons who were more than willing to take the job.
"Of course you're here."
Elijah pulled out one headphone and looked up to see his visitor.
"Hey, Noah." Elijah smiled, turning off the music and patting the empty spot next to him, "Sit down."
Noah was the only other person who knew about his little spot. He didn't mind his company anyway. Noah had this way of making Elijah feel at ease, whether they were talking or just sitting in silence.
"How are things going?"
"Pretty good, you could say. Lucas and I agreed to take a break today since things have been going rather smoothly."
"That's good to hear." Noah smiled, staring ahead. There was a certain distant look in his eyes. Elijah noticed that look a lot but never spoke of it. He also noticed it only came when he was talking about Lucas or dance practice.
"Hey, since I'm kinda free today, how about I invite you over to my place?" Elijah suggested. They'd never actually been to each other's houses before and he had been thinking about inviting Noah over for a while.
The elder blinked, "Uh... Sure, I don't mind. I actually needed some help with Biology so maybe we could do some studying too."
"Sure." Elijah smiled at Noah who was now looking ahead again. He couldn't help but feel a little captivated by his face. His soft features, his large doe eyes, his smooth nose. How could a guy be so pretty? It was ridiculous how good looking Noah was.
Wait... Am I really checking him out right now?
Elijah quickly looked away, a slight blush on his face. He had just been shamelessly ogling his only friend. And not just that. Lately, or more specifically, after Lucas told him about Noah being gay, he had noticed his eyes unconsciously lingering on Noah for a little longer than they had to. Elijah wasn't attracted to guys, or at least not that he knew of. But with Noah it was just... weird. Different.
The thought that he himself could actually be gay was weird to him, not because he felt like it was wrong, but because it never actually occurred to him before.
Wait... Am I really thinking about whether or not I'm gay right now?
"Hey, are you feeling okay?" Elijah almost jumped at Noah's sudden soft voice. "Your face is a little red."
"Huh? Uh no, I feel fine."
Noah narrowed his eyes, "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm alright. Don't worry."
Noah didn't look convinced but he let it go anyway. Elijah internally sighed.
That was so weird.
"Here the membrane is hyperpolarised because it goes below -70mV." Elijah explained, "And here the original resting potential is being restored as potassium ions start to leave the neurone."
Noah nodded in understanding, "Yeah, I get it now. Thanks."
They had been sitting on Elijah’s bed for about an hour or so, doing some homework and studying together since Noah needed some help with biology.
"I think that's enough for today." Noah said, shutting his text book with a loud sigh.
"Yeah," Elijah agreed, lying back on his bed, not feeling like studying anymore either. It was surprising how efficient study groups were. He never actually studied with anyone else before and it was a lot more fun than he had expected, yet productive.
"By the way, I like your room." Noah said, looking around. It was neat and tidy, there was a place for everything and everything was in its place. It was a lot like Elijah.
"Thanks," The blonde replied. Noah caught sight of a photo frame on the bedside table. In it was a picture of two smiling young boys, probably ten to twelve years old. Noah instantly recognized the older-looking one as Elijah.
"I was twelve back then." Elijah suddenly said, smiling at the picture.
"Yeah? You were pretty cute," Noah smiled, "And who's this?"
"That's Ricky," Elijah muttered, smiling distantly, "My little brother."
Noah's eyes widened slightly, "You have a little brother?"
"Had," The blonde corrected, "He uh… he passed away two years ago."
"Oh... I'm sorry." Noah said awkwardly, regretting that he had even asked. He certainly didn’t expect that answer and it really took him by surprise. He found himself placing a comforting hand on Elijah's shoulder.
"It's okay," Elijah smiled, "He uh… he loved to dance. And he was very talented, too."
"I'm sure he'd be proud if he saw you now."
Elijah looked up at the older male and saw a genuine yet sad smile on his face. "I hope so," He whispered.
Sensing that the atmosphere was getting too serious, Elijah quickly got up from bed, "Come. Let me show you my balcony."
Elijah led the elder male towards the large balcony in his room. Once he opened the sliding glass door, they were instantly met with the cold night air and a beautiful view of the city and the sky. Noah walked out into the balcony and gasped slightly, "Wow. The view from up here is amazing."
"I know, right?" Elijah leaned against the railing, "This is one of those places I like to go to when I just want to relax."
Noah stood next to Elijah and looked at the city lights. "First the school terrace, now here. Why are you showing me all these cool places?" He chuckled.
"I don't know. It's always just been me alone with my thoughts here. But since we're friends now, I should share what I find, right?"
The smile quickly disappeared from Noah's face, "Friends?"
"Uh, yeah... I mean, I just assumed that..." None of them have ever actually said the word before, even though they hung out quite a few times now. "It's okay if you don't want to be-"
"It's not that," Noah sighed, "I don't know if you know this but… I'm gay, Eli. Are you sure you wanna be friends with someone like me?"
Elijah was taken aback by the question but Noah looked serious.
"Why not?"
"Aren't you scared people will judge you for being friends with me?"
Elijah rolled his eyes, "I don't care what people think. All they can do is judge from afar."
Noah tilted his head to the side, "So you're saying you don't mind the fact that I'm gay?" His big eyes were staring up at Elijah almost expectantly. Eli furrowed his brows in confusion.
"Why would I? It doesn't change anything. I mean you're still one of the nicest people I've met around school… or anywhere really."
Noah was surprised to hear that, but at the same time he couldn’t help but feel grateful. "Thanks, man. That really means a lot."
Eli simply shrugged, “It’s just the truth. So… when did you find out?”
Noah stared up at the sky, "I was thirteen when the thought first occurred to me. And it scared me to no ends. I was so afraid because I knew my parents would never accept me... I would stay up all night thinking, crying, wondering why I couldn't be normal just like everyone else. I was so, so scared of coming out. The first person who got to know about it was Alex, my best friend back then. He was the first to accept me. He supported me and he was there for me no matter what happened." Noah sighed, "When I was fifteen I came out to my parents. Dad didn't speak to me for six whole months. Mom hardly talked to me, always gave me one-word answers. She wouldn't even look me in the eye. It got better with time though. I think they've finally come to accept the fact and are okay with it now."
Elijah smiled, "There's nothing wrong with you, Noah. In the end it's all love and it's between two people. I don't see what makes it all that different."
"People are yet to open their minds to it... Especially here."
"I know." The blonde sighed, "It'll get better though, I'm sure. They just need time to warm up to the idea. So where is Alex now?"
Noah chuckled, "Now that's a story for another time." He lightly patted Elijah on the shoulder, "I should probably get home now, or mom will throw a fit."
Eli couldn’t help but feel disappointed that he was leaving already. He was actually having a really good time with Noah. But he tried not to show it.
"Alright. I'll walk you downstairs."
Elijah was lost in his thoughts as he lay down in bed. Every time he tried to fall asleep, he found himself unable to. His thoughts always carried him back towards a certain doe-eyed male. They had gotten considerably closer over the past few weeks. Maybe he was just feeling like this because he was so overwhelmed with the fact that he now had a friend.
No. That's not it.
He looked at the picture of his brother and him on the bedside table and sighed, thinkinh to himself.
Hey Ricky... What is this weird feeling all about?