Chương 19: Sorting and stacking
Inside the Main Hall, there were eyes on the fresh meat. Not everyone was doing it, but being a former soldier and current crime boss made one aware of what was going on. And if you didn't figure this particular skill out, you won't get a second chance. Turby-mort was there is the corner trying to look meek and unimportant.
Not a lot of kids here knew who I was, sure I was taller than the rest of the pipsqueaks, that didn't mean much. A healthy diet and lots of sports, usually leads to the childhood body adapting to new circumstances. Some had an inkling, those that I had met briefly when conducting business with Sirius. Most were picking out potential friends and already sworn enemies, seriously, all the kids go to one fucking school, maybe don't have your children pay for your crimes. I'm surprised kids aren't killing each other in the hallways, then again this is Britain, not America.
As we come to a stop in front of a hat on a stool, then the filthy rag decided to sing. SING! For the love of everything unholy, just kill me. While it was unleashing it's own unique brand of auditory torture on the mostly innocent children, I went over the plan Hermione and I discussed on the train ride over.
*Flashback*
"What's your plan for the sorting?" She asked once the train was underway. Neville can find his own fucking toad. We had more important things to do. Namely, planning on how to stay alive.
"Hufflepuff or Gryffindor, I'm not academically inclined enough to be in Ravenclaw, and putting me Slytherin is just asking for trouble. I must present the façade of a rich cunt, hiding behind my money due to middling magical talent. Therefore, Gryffindor or Hufflepuff." I replied.
"You know the secret will be uncovered eventually."
"Eventually. I can't go in guns blazing, Dumbledore aside, Flitwick would tan my hide so bad, the next 13 generations of my house will have eczema. Not to mention McGonagall, you ever get an ass-whooping from your gran? It's rare, but when it does happen, you'll wish you were dead. Granted there is also Snape, but he will have to show a modicum of restraint-show, not practice-but he'll jump at the bit to put me down for good. He might not, but let's assume the worst when planning, unexpected events and happenings are usually in your favour. The reveal will happen, as you said eventually. So what's your plan?" I asked after my rant.
"Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff, Slytherin is out of the question, Gryffindor is for imbeciles. Full of half-bloods, muggleborns, and new magical families, they are simply there to be exploited. Ravenclaw, nerds the whole lot of them, but the connections to some rich families are very useful down the line. Hufflepuff, they are basically running the whole show from the shadows, regardless for birth or standing, Puffs look out for their own, the Ministry is run by them, a vast majority of secretarial and administrative jobs are taken up by Puffs, they don't want something happening, delay the memo by a day or two. Want to make a few extra Galleons, tip off your friends about deals going down. Being ignored, especially if you're ambitious, is a blessing. Slytherin, well considering I am a muggleborn, it's basically a death sentence, the Hat won't send me there. So there is only Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff." She raved.
"Same or different houses?" I asked.
"If I get Ravenclaw, different, if I get Hufflepuff, same." She relied after thinking on for a few moments.
"Connections?"
"Yes, there is no reason for you to get into to Ravenclaw, even though you easily can."
"Really now? How long have you known me? I run a small criminal empire, just to satisfy my urges, putting a grown man with PTSD into a child's body is a recipe for disaster. Just be happy I haven't bombed the shit out of Saudi, China or Russia for the hell of it." I replied a bit tersely, I didn't notice it at first, but more and more often, my solution to minor inconveniences was a liberal application of violence. It was more or less dissipated when I used the ageing potion, but not completely gone. Sex, drugs and violence, the unholy trifecta. Was the only thing to rein me in, lest I become a child serial killer.
"You like to think you're not smart enough, but that itself is a sign of wisdom and wit, knowing that you don't know. Ignorance only suits children and madmen, we for better of for worse, are no mere 'children'. I can handle research on magical and scientific topics, I need you to use your political and financial connections to gather support. From what I've gathered during my readings, most wealthy and influential families' scions end up in Hufflepuff, they value dedicated effort more than talent. Also it allows them to be discreet. Inventors and researchers are pretty common in the other three, well two, houses throughout history, but the vast majority of wealthy and influential figures were from Hufflepuff or Slytherin, and considering the pureblood laws becoming more and more extreme, the muggleborns, and half-bloods have all been herded towards Hufflepuff. Sure Ravenclaw and Gryffindor get their share, but Hufflepuff is by far the most populated House. Take Nymphadora for example, she'd fit in at Gryffindor just as well, but due to the taint of House Black, she's been ushered into Hufflepuff. Or for that matter Cedric Diggory, son of some Department Head, of some department or other, names' too long, is put into Hufflepuff, whereas he'd be a much better fit for Ravenclaw, same goes for a lot of other politically connected people. Use the experience you've gathered in running a 'small criminal empire' and prepare for not only Riddle but other fuckwits that will eventually crawl out of the woodwork. I hear Eastern Europe is lovely for such endeavors." Her tirade went on for another few minutes, explaining the intricacies of Magical Britain and the magical community worldwide, and how she plans to exploit them.
What is it with Brits and exploiting people?
*Present*
"Hermione Granger" McGonagall called out.
She walked up to the stool and had the hat placed on her head.
"Ravenclaw!" It bellowed. with polite applause, she made her way over to her table.
It was some time after which I was called. Going in alphabetically, there would be a few kids sorted after me, I feel bad for raining on their parade, but that's life.
"Harry Potter" McGonagall called out.
I made my way to the stool and had the hat placed on my head.
'Let's get this over with, put me in Hufflepuff.' I thought.
'Interesting, very interesting … '
'I don't have time for this, Hufflepuff or I start dropping bodies.'
"Hufflepuff!' the dusty rag bellowed. It was taken off my head and I made my way to the Hufflepuff table under muted and bewildered applause. Who would have thought that the 'Great Harry Potter' would be in the House for 'rejects'.
I sat down with the rest of the first years. I greeted them and waited for the sorting to finish. The looks I was getting from the teacher's table was a broad spectrum ranging from absolute delight of Pomona Sprout, Hufflepuff Head of House, to complete shock from McGonagall, I have a feeling she would've expected Gryffindor or Ravenclaw, Slytherin was out, simply due to the nature of the House and what it's current members' presence entails. Hufflepuff was a possibility, but not one to be actively considered. The shock was more from something unexpected happening, than from any plans being derailed. Quirrell-Mort dropped the nervous act for a short while, whilst he contemplated the repercussions of my sorting. Dumbledore was confused and intrigued, his plans did not involve the Child of Prophecy in being in Hufflepuff. Ravenclaw he could have worked around, Gryffindor would have been ideal. Now, how was he going to get his trusted minions close to me. In public life, I'm a bit of a recluse, a recluse with the financial and political power to bankrupt the magical world if I so wished. He doesn't expect any feats of strength from me, seeing as I am 11 years of age, and magically, I assume he can gauge roughly my level of magical reserves and power. At that level, that is very important, fighting the likes of Grindelwald and Voldemort requires knowledge, power and finesse. Snape was purely disgusted, going by the look on his face. He's not important to my plans. Flitwick was pretty nonchalant, based on his past reputation and current position, he'll form an opinion once he's gotten to know me a bit more. The rest of the teachers were somewhere along the spectrum.
The focus quickly went to the sorting. Weasley was sorted into Gryffindor. Thank fuck for that.
Dumbledore gave a silly speech and the feast started. I ate a balanced meal, as usual. A few conversations around the table were had. Making new acquaintances and such. Having the mind of a grown man and a child's body, doesn't really work well. I can't be friends with these kids, and the adults I can be friends won't take a child seriously. Hence the ageing potions and running a criminal empire.
Which reminds me, I need to find a way to run the business from Hogwarts. I'll plan once I'm settled into my room. Taking stock of your operating environment is crucial to successfully carrying out your plans. Today being Sunday and tomorrow being the first day of classes, I can't do shit this week. I have no idea what my schedule will look like and how I will need to plan around my sporadic appearances. I am usually an absentee boss, the compulsions and magically binding oaths keeping the workforce in line, but they are still people, and people are stupid. So monitoring them is necessary.
Not only that, planning for Quirrell-Mort is also important. Mainly on how we get rid of the little shit. I can do it right now, a bullet to the head and a reducto takes care of that. But we need him to lead us to the Philosopher's stone. Or at least the general location. Not only that, but capturing this fragment of his soul will lead to new discoveries in soul magic and a possibly the locations of the rest of the Horcruxes. Maybe make a tracker of some sort using his soul.
Damn why do all the good ideas come after the fact?
I could've contained the soul shard in my head to make something of it. Then again, I wasn't exactly knowledgeable enough to even come up with the plan at the time. What's done is done.
Now that I'm sorted, I need to start stacking the odds in my favour. But, first I need to see to dessert.
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