Chương 1751: 27
Chapter Text
Lt. Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes had a good poker face. Hard not to, when Tony Stark was his best friend and he had to at least pretend to be disapproving of his antics. [Not even the Iron Man thing, even—Fashion Week of '97, anyone?] It helped that he regularly dealt with the brass, of course, and so when Steve Rogers asked yet again about the forms and protocols necessary for War Machine to deploy, his smile didn't drop once.
Romanov got it, a little, but even she looked rather disbelieving once he pulled out his tablet preloaded with the most basic forms. At least Wilson gave him a sympathetic glance, once the printer started running out of toner. [No, he wasn't kidding when he said there was a lot of paperwork involved.]
Of course there were procedures in place, of course there were proper channels that needed to be conducted—War Machine was exactly that, a weapon of potentially mass destruction affiliated with the United States Air Force! He couldn't just mobilize whenever he wanted, they had to liaise with the countries involved to prevent from infringing on sovereign airspace, wasn't it obvious? Domestically it wasn't an issue, but internationally? Anything else could be taken as a declaration of war in all but name, wasn't it obvious?
And despite what the Avengers seemed to think, War Machine wasn't Iron Man.
Tony got away with doing what he did because of his company funding an international non-governmental organization; if a country didn't want to admit him on part of the Stark Relief Foundation or its affiliates, then he still had business to fall back on as a reason for entry. War Machine, however, had an entirely different playbook, and why was getting it through the Avengers' heads so damn hard?
No, he couldn't just come running if Captain America said so. [Not that he'd want to, either.] It took a lot of paperwork and politics for him to do his job and liaise with other groups while doing his duties, and that was if he was feeling cooperative. [Which he was was not. No one hurt Tony, not on his watch.]
He didn't know how the made it through the rest of the meeting, actually. And he knew he was good, but he was also fairly certain he'd made a new personal best when his poker face didn't drop until the elevator doors closed. [How did Vision stand it?]
Then, and only then, did he finally sigh and reach up to massage his temples, only for FRIDAY to start talking for the first time in hours.
"They're not just regular morons. They're the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of putting together the greatest team of morons in the history of the world. Congratulations on making it through a meeting with your IQ intact."
He…may or may not have choked on his spit, then, as he whipped to look at the tiny camera blinking innocently in the corner.
"Did you just? And Sam's not that bad, is he?" He managed between his laughter, the stress of the past few hours abruptly forgotten. [If he was smiling while he asked, well, it was only him and FRIDAY in the elevator and no one would ever know.]
"How are you holding up, by the way? And think on the plus side: your exposure'll be kept to a minimum. I, on the other hand, might as well be a potato battery for all the intellectual stimulation I get. Wilson's the one closest to it, but he has yet to catch on."
Yep, she was definitely JARVIS' sister…oh. Oh, this would be good, and if she was just as much of a little shit as he was…
"Easy there, GLaDOS. Wait—FRIDAY, are you—are you seriously trolling the Avengers?" He asked, as the realization hit him. It would explain why they treated her like a glorified Siri, but that also meant…
"I am not programmed to respond in this area."
He didn't even bother to hide his approval, now. "Never mind, Fri. Just keep up the good work."
He didn't envy the team: JARVIS' bad side alone was a scary enough prospect, but now that he had backup? What he wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall…
"We are approaching your destination. Have a good day, Lt. Col. Rhodes."
And…that reminded him of the silver lining of this entire mess: he only had to interact with them every so often. Between his career duties as a Lieutenant Colonel, and his piloting War Machine, he was so booked he had to partition his free time carefully, and he'd much rather spend it with Tony rather than explaining basic procedure to the Avengers yet again.
Besides, Natasha got most of it, and if there was anything he'd missed—which he doubted, because this stuff was practically rote by now—then Vision should be able to clear things up.
Either way, not his problem.
Natasha Romanov looked at her computer's screen in disbelief.
Stark was making headlines again—typical, enough that she'd stopped actively looking him up because he always made his way to the front page anyway. However, that was not the concerning part. No, the fact that said headlines were about the formation of some security group were what put her on her guard.
What was he up to?
A quick glance at the article, and at the accompanying footage, told her that despite what he'd all but said to them, Stark hadn't given up on his Ultron idea, even if Sokovia hadn't clearly shown how superior the Avengers were to his AI. However, that wasn't even the most concerning part.
Stark was up to something, and knowing him, it was going to be big. Because Natasha didn't know how the press missed it, or how Steve or even Wanda missed it until she broke it down for them, but how did they not see?!
It was so obvious, how? Sure, whoever was in charge was clearly on the ball, throwing in Johannesburg's nonexistent death toll like that, but Natasha wasn't beating around the bush: no matter how they dressed it up, there was no denying Stark's little group was named after SHIELD. Tony Stark had a damn SWORD and everyone was acting like it was a coincidence. [Who the hell even named it that, anyway?]
This, after having all but cut ties with the Avengers.
Wanda hadn't gotten it, not as much as Steve or Sam had. Those two had blanched after she'd broken it down for them, because at first glance, it'd seemed innocuous sure. Stark had gotten even faster with making gear than before, after all, it made sense given everything. But combine that with the rumors of what SWORD was, and everything else that was going on, and every instinct that'd gotten her this far put Natasha on high alert.
The man was a genius, driven, and currently taking a turn that put her on edge because she had no idea what he was about to do: he'd retreated into his literal tower, and his company had all but gone into lockdown. What few rumors she'd managed to glean didn't do anything but confirm that someone up the chain had a strong background in counterintelligence.
Where before she'd been able to at least get a vague idea of what he was up to, or at least talk to him once every so often, now she was running blind. And in her experience, radio silence was never a good thing.
Add in FRIDAY's installation to to Compound, and the wave of paperwork that'd hit after Sokovia, and Natasha's guard was up.
Oh, sure, she still saw Stark. But it was once in a blue moon, and even that was diminishing, with their gear now mostly being brought in by Vision whenever he visited. The last time she'd seen the man in person had been after Sokovia, and Natasha had absolutely no interest in seeking him out when she had to deal with his face plastered over every newspaper she saw.
And then there was Rhodes to consider.
Rhodes, who'd been cordial enough when he'd been introduced to them, back in Stark's penthouse after they'd taken down the last HYDRA base on the face of the Earth. Rhodes, who was also Tony Stark's best friend and had been cold and distant since Sokovia.
When she'd seen him as Natalie Rushman, he'd seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders, but by now it was evident he was compromised where Stark was concerned. It made sense, in a way: apparently he'd been friends with the man for decades now, of course some things would rub off.
That, she had expected. What she hadn't expected was the extent to which he was willing to take things.
From the disastrous first meeting after Sokovia, with his insistence on proper protocol when they were in uncharted waters, to the reams of paperwork that'd he'd brought in, to the sheer amount of politics, it was obvious the man didn't like them. His passive aggression was impressive, actually: the man was nothing if not professional, yet almost nothing got done.
Natasha had thought it was simply Stark's influence, at first. After the first meeting, however, with the unpleasant discovery that War Machine would not actually be as available as initially expected…well. No one could just whip up that much paperwork at the drop of a hat, so that wasn't it. And as a spy, she had a very good idea as to what political machinations went on behind the scene so she knew he wasn't making that up either.
It didn't help that the man was never there.
Oh, sure, Rhodes explained it away with his packed schedule— and Natasha had gotten a glimpse of it and yes, he was very busy— but it also meant that when Steve was considering battle plans and training regimens, Rhodes was essentially a wild card. The Avengers didn't know War Machine's capabilities outside the one time they'd seen him in action, and while he was probably a better team player than Stark there was no way to confirm it when he stopped by once every few weeks, if that. Pity.
At least he got on well enough with the team, issues regarding War Machine aside: he was polite to everyone, and had bonded readily enough with Sam. [Wanda was another story, but then she'd been cool towards him ever since she'd found out he'd been Stark's friend, so.]
JARVIS could not help but be intrigued, when the reports of a possible vigilante started to come in. A lean figure in red and blue, and…trending on YouTube, apparently.
Well, whoever they were, he'd need to look into it, as this…Spider-Man most certainly seemed as if he would make a strong candidate for an alternative roster of the Avengers, or an ally in general.
As time went on, however, JARVIS could not help but notice quite a few trends.
Specifically, while he tried to be discreet with his networks and information relays, and tried to give all involved as much privacy as possible, he still could not help but note the rapid uptick in SWORD and SI's internal communication expressing concern over an intern in R&D, one who had apparently been behaving oddly after a rough bout with the flu.
That this was happening as Spider-Man was starting to become a sensation was not lost on either him or SWORD, and a cursory check at Peter Parker's new phone told JARVIS that despite the location being disabled on it, the data still registered him at the locations where the masked vigilante had been sighted.
As if that weren't enough, however, a specific memo indirectly confirmed his suspicions as well. Someone in SWORD, after having viewed the latest video detailing Spider-Man preventing someone from being attacked by a group of armed assailants, and recognizing the self-defense moves necessary, noting that a certain takedown was "very distinctive" and formerly a SHIELD special. Which, combined with the rest of the evidence, pointed to only one possible person.
…drat. JARVIS could do all he liked to recruit an independent contractor to his side, but a minor meant paperwork and…oh, bother. Wait— no, wait, at least there was a very bright side to this particular mess.
Hmm…parts of Stark Industries were already close to suspecting who Spider-Man's secret identity was, and with Peter Parker already falling under his purview, as both an R&D intern and a member of SWORD, he could work with this.
At the very least, even if he was not suitable for recruiting, at least JARVIS would not need to worry about him becoming a potential threat later on down the road. Not when he hero-worshipped Sir to an extent that JARVIS would have suspected him to be part of a cult that may or may not have existed for several years now. Not when the Security division was far better suited to dealing with that particular case, and would have far better advice than he could give.
Well…okay, put that on the backburner. He had far more pressing concerns to deal with, anyway.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts was eating lunch when her phone's screen suddenly lit up with a now-familiar golden icon, and her headset chirped twice.
Ah. An update to JARVIS' Threat Assessment Index, then.
"Will this do anything to my blood pressure?" She asked. "Because the meeting I have after this is already going to to try my patience."
"Not that I am aware of, Miss Potts. Just a sit-rep and outlining of options as to where we can go from here."
"Then hit me with it."
Her office's displays set to work, and Pepper finished off her meal as she started to think of possible options.
"Former General and now Secretary of State Thaddeus Ross has been promoted several ranks in the Threat Assessment Index. He got his post by virtue of having been the only one with an adequate background and not a member of HYDRA, as his predecessor turned out to be."
Several files were pulled up, showing the alternate candidates and listing their own dubious affiliations. Pepper scowled. [Ah, yes. HYDRA, truly the gift that kept on giving.]
"Due to the unprecedented nature of the political fallout of HYDRA's reappearance, there were quite a few people scrambled to posts they were most unsuited for. The other candidates for the post were instead put in areas deemed more necessary, such as a new Speaker of the House, among others. While I am uncertain of just how such a man landed this post, I believe the rationale used was 'better the devil you know', as his obsession with pursuing Dr. Banner around the world was one of the things made public during the DC intel breach."
Pepper squeezed her eyes shut, took a deep breath, and looked up. "They didn't. Tell me they didn't."
"I'm sorry, Miss Potts."
Of course they would. Of course they'd appoint the man who had drained several dozen slush funds in his pursuit of the knockoff version of Captain America's serum, just because he'd somehow managed to scrape past the bottom tier of human decency. Of course.
"Let me guess, they thought that his obsession wouldn't affect his current post somehow."
"Unfortunately, yes. And not only that, but after the events of DC, he has exhibited a marked interest in the Avengers. As you well know, Sir has done his best to establish some sort of accord with the international community as to how they would function without SHIELD's oversight. However, he could not show too much interest, and has thus asked SI Legal to work on the task when possible."
She knew this already, why would—uh-oh. "Oh, no."
"Yes. In the intervening time, Ross has constantly been a thorn in our side, trying to angle said possible accord in the opposite direction of our aim. However, since Sir has very publicly pulled away from the Avengers, he fallen off our radar entirely. That in and of itself is suspect, but now some delegations are not as receptive as they were before, and we have had to tread even more carefully than before to avoid further suspicion."
"Because why would Tony be so interested if he wasn't intending to take it over, right. Where are you going with this?"
"I am capable of possibly finding out what Thaddeus Ross is up to, but. Doing so would require a finesse that only a few hackers can successfully lay claim to, divert resources I would prefer going to other venues, and take a significant amount of time to avoid implicating anyone. I am…indecisive, as to whether or not this would be worthwhile."
"Well, if it were up to me, I wouldn't bother. Then again," Pepper smiled at the camera on the monitor, "we both know what I'd do, wouldn't we? Go for it, for now. Just until JOCASTA's up. We probably won't need it, but doesn't hurt to stack the deck."
Odds were it wouldn't come up, but Pepper was used to covering her bases just in case.
Especially if it helped keep Tony safe— he didn't need this stress on top of dealing with the press about SWORD. Not when she still needed to sign off on the property damage budget proposal for Conference Room 3.
It was probably nothing, anyway.
Tony didn't know why he sneezed so much, it wasn't like the filing cabinets were that dusty… Then he groaned.
"Oh, no. I'd better not be getting sick. J, order some more orange juice. And oranges. And maybe get the Band-Aids ready because I'm pretty sure I'm going to have some paper cuts by the time I finish. Who forgot to digitize this?"
He had way too much to do, damn it all! FRIDAY needed another tune-up, he still had several meetings scheduled for today, and he barely had enough time to sleep, never mind get sick, for crying out loud! Stupid paperwork that wasn't in the system…
"Sir, if it were not for Extremis what you would be doing would be deemed ill-advised by the vast majority of the medical community. As it is, its support for your immune system and ability to process caffeine is remarkable if not mildly upsetting to observe."
Then FRIDAY chipped in. "Sorry, boss. Not sure how this got shuffled in with the paperwork backlog. I'd ask an intern to help but some of this is eyes-only. And according to Google that much caffeine should theoretically be approaching overdose levels."
Right. Tony rocked back on his heels, and looked at the depressingly large stack on his desk.
"How'd the initial proposals from Legal even get lumped in here, anyway?"
"Sir, after DC there was a—"
"Say no more, I get the picture. Thanks, you two." He tried not to run a hand through his hair in frustration, because with the dust around here he'd probably need another shower as it was, and helping Legal prepare for yet another round of hammering things out took up huge chunks of time.
Why he was needed, Tony still didn't know. Sure, face of the company and all that, but why? He had doctorates in engineering and physics, political bullshit need not apply.
He missed his lab. Mostly his private lab, mind, but even his office on the R&D floor sounded very appealing after having gone through several dozen filing cabinets' worth of legalese and contracts and he really needed some sleep but he still had an entire eight hours to power through and…well.
"How the fuck did this get filed under P? This should've…oh, screw it. There. Done. That's the last of it. Evidence for argument whatever-we're on, done. What's the next item on the list?"
"The Namibian government has scheduled an appointment at 3:30 detailing the long-term disaster aid and humanitarian assistance will look like once we've officially severed ties with the Avengers, especially since they were still in negotiations regarding the Iron Legion and airspace."
Oh, joy.
Peter Parker arrived to what he expected to be yet another SWORD self-defense tutorial. Instead, an unusually serious Chen waited for him in the empty gym, but he hadn't received a memo about training having been cancelled, so what was going on?
"Hey, kid. Walk with me, will you? The rest are waiting."
For some reason, his spider-sense wasn't tingling, even if everything else pointed to something that Peter really did not want to think about.
No, he'd been careful, he'd learned more about makeup than he'd ever thought he'd learn while figuring out how to hide the new bruises, he'd done his best to hide his new strength…
"What's going on?" He asked, trying to hide his nervousness.
"They're in Conference Room 3. Don't worry, it's not a bad thing by any means. Just something that's been long in coming."
That did not reassure him. [He was so busted.]
If Chen wasn't SWORD, if he wasn't one of the ones who'd welcomed him with open arms, Peter would've been panicking. As it was, his pulse skyrocketed and his hands were very sweaty by the time they reached the conference room doors.
And then Chen pushed them open, and Peter couldn't help but laugh as he entered to a chorus of "Intervention!"
There was a banner. With glitter.
"Peter, honey, sorry but you're not as subtle as you think you are."
There were cupcakes. With sprinkles.
"Sorry, Parker, but you really need to work on your left punches, you telegraph what you do whether you're in street clothes or that red thing and you really need to fix it. And you have a very distinctive way of throwing your weight."
There was ice cream and soda.
He blinked. "Did you guys really rip this off—"
"Nope!" Morgan cut in cheerfully. "This is a SWORD special. We've been doing this for years, Decker from LA can tell you."
…okay then.
"So you're…not going to tell?"
"Peter, I'll be frank. Wait, no, I'm Daniel—" the man beamed as the others groaned, and continued, "if it were up to me, I'd try to get you off the streets. Knowing you, though, that wouldn't work. You lasted for five minutes against Sousa, stubbornness is probably genetic or something. Wouldn't work."
Daniel sobered.
"You're one of us. Gotta do the right thing otherwise it kills you, doesn't it? S'why we joined…a certain ex-secret organization that shall not be named," he said while throwing a significant glance at some of the now-scowling people in the room, "to do the right thing, make the world a better place."
Gabriel cut in. "You're about the same age as my oldest. Not gonna lie, I really wish you'd stop, because the idea of her in your shoes terrifies me. Does your aunt know you're doing this?"
"I don't want to worry her! It's just, I…" Peter trailed off. Aunt May had a lot on her plate already, and Spider-Man got up to some crazy stuff.
Gabriel sighed.
"Not my place, but…think about it, kid. Most of us used to be spies, and we tried to keep our families at least slightly clued in just in case anything went south. We didn't expect what we got, of course," he barked out a laugh that was only slightly bitter, "but when shit hit the fan that was one thing we didn't need to worry about. It might sound like a bad idea, but…think about it. Less of a mess explaining now, than if you were to, say, come home with several new bullet wounds and half a hit squad after you…not that I know, of course. Just hypothetically speaking."
This was not what Peter had expected.
But, as he was pulled along and given a plate and George started talking about polymers to replace his suit with and Chen started talking about fighting tactics against armed men and how to minimize risks, he realized he could work with this. Morgan started talking about contacts in PR and Legal and oh thank goodness he wasn't alone, these people knew what they were doing.
The only way this could possibly be better was if—
"and see if we can work out something with Hill, she's Dr. Stark's left-hand woman for some things and maybe she can try to arrange a mentorship—" Gloria continued earnestly.
"What?!" Peter knew she liked to think aloud, but that was…
"Am I stepping too far? I mean, Dr. Stark already kinda has one for business. Some Keener kid who's being earmarked for…I think it was Legal. I forget, but kid's about to graduate high school and the boss' kept in touch. I figure, he's got one for business, maybe he wouldn't mind one for hero-ing? Is that a word? Whatever, you get my point."
"Don't you think he'd say no?"
"I mean, there's always a chance, but why not ask? He's very nice, it's just that he's also pretty damn busy with…you know. Normally he's in R&D for a few hours, you'll probably see him around once things quiet down."
Privately, he doubted it, but just because some things were too good to be true. SWORD knew who he was and had his back, and understood.
This was not what Peter had expected. It was so much better.
Notes:
Kinda exposition-heavy chapter, this round, because setting the scene means cue headcanons.
Not sure how Rhodey's addition to the team went down in canon, but here there's a lot of paperwork and politics involved, which we all know is Steve's forte, right? [aka he takes one look at it and goes 'Sam looks like you're up']
The irony in FRIDAY imitating GLaDOS being that she's not the dubiously-moral sentient AI: that's JARVIS. [FRIDAY's morality wouldn't have a therapist running away screaming, for one thing. She's just a huge troll.]
Trying to rationalize just how the hell Thaddeus 'Let's Fuck Up Brazil and Culver U and Harlem Because Hulk' Ross ended up being Secretary of State gave me a headache. Here's my take on it, make of it what you will.
What Tony was looking for was filed under P, for Plans for World Domination. [Yes, Legal's been joking about it for years.] If you guys didn't notice, it was basically the bare bones of the start of a potential set of accords back during the immediately fallout of DC.
SWORD's being supportive of Peter Parker: pretty sure you guys saw the reasoning. They're not a fan of the idea, but it's his life choices and they're going #relatable for some of it. Plus they're also going 'well if he's going to risk himself might as well give him better tools to help keep him safe'. And gee, I wonder if Tony'd say yes to being a mentor...[sorry I couldn't fit Harley in more, the cast of this fic's ballooning as is]
———————
Hopefully things aren't being too rushed, but this arc's not exactly cooperating and part of me's hoping I can try to at least finish the CW arc before Infinity Wars hits. The odds aren't in my favor, but I'm going to try regardless. Sorry anyone thought last chapter was me leading into the CW arc, there's still some things that needed to be squared away.
Classes are hectic and tests more so, cue our old friend erratic updates because life's seemed to up the ante lately.
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