Chương 1872: 103
Chapter 103
Notes:
Darkness.
Pitch black and everywhere, a never ending, desolate field of empty blackness like midnight. Like a moonless night, starless and concealed and brimming with desolation. No light to be found, no warmth, nothing but an endless, empty plane of blackness deep within her own soul that never, ever went away.
Ruby!
Something wasn't right, but she had no idea what it was. There was… something fuzzy. Something… something…
What did she remember? She vividly remembered the sensation of… something warm. Hot, even. Some kind of iron driving into her soul, spiking her with heat and and rage and obedience to something that loomed over her as though a god before an ant- she couldn't even fathom the existence that had placed her here, couldn't even think about that… that…
She remembered a face. A cold, callous expression that was tinged with hate, a mockery of care as invisible hands brushed along her face and speared into her heart- tearing and ripping and forcing her down as all of the horrors within were brought to the surface.
Who- no, what?
She… was buried in herself. She was… bound in chains of black tar and stuck in a vile morass of pain and hatred, years of resentment and anguish and fear and dismissal built up day after day after day so much that she hadn't even realized what was wrong with her. She could feel that bestial rage and hatred still- burning with the need to hunt and rage and kill and destroy the things that had ostracized her so. How could she not feel it? It was everywhere around her, clawing at the last vestiges of her mind as she awoke to a crimson tinted hellscape of black and red, dotted with corpses and rot, smelling of death and the pungent aroma of fear .
She was afraid of herself, wasn't she?
She'd known that for a long time.
Ruby!
She had… always feared parts of herself. The rage. The hatred. That constant beating of drums in her mind that made her want to rip and tear the moment she had a reason to- and there were so many reasons…
She didn't want to be bad. She didn't want to be evil. But how could she be anything other than that? She tried to stay happy, tried to downplay it, tried to be her best self and pretend that she wasn't a bloodthirsty killing machine…
But she was, wasn't she?
Her entire purpose was to kill . Man or monster alike, she'd built her entire life idolizing a woman who never came home, a man who lost his way, his brother in all but blood who taught her to kill, a woman she'd never seen but learned was a killer anyway. The life of a Hunter was a life made to kill. Men, women, children. They would live by the sword and die by the sword.
She moved forward, struggling through the muck in her soul as she stared at the faint light above- was that her, she wondered, staring at the pale sliver of silver light crowned around a crimson sun, bleeding thick drops of black tar onto the world around her and weeping with barely concealed rage.
"Who am I?" she wondered to herself, whispering quietly as she trudged through the horrid mire, feeling it clawing at her and trying to drag her into the depths with reaching hands and grasping fingers. "I…"
"You… are special. You are unique. Something the world has never seen before."
A woman's voice, soft and in the distance- a gentle tone of voice that was filled with care and the sensation of a warm, comforting hug.
"You are the apex. The most powerful grimm in the world. You are the instrument of my will, my perfect creation."
Was she, though?
How perfect could she be, if she still had to wonder who she was, what she was- was she supposed to be anything but a killer?
Ruby, please!
There that was again- a fleck of green.
Green?
Such an odd color for a place like this, all black and red and churning with hate and malice. Orange, maybe. Yellow, sure. She could even see bone white, maybe. But green? That… flash of green that was… it wasn't acid green, that sharp, sharp hateful color that promised destruction down to flesh and bone, dissolving away whatever it touched until nothing was left but steaming puddles and screaming victims. It was… warm…
She shook her head, continuing to trudge along even as it felt like her limbs were tied by chains- weighing her down and trying to drag her down further and further.
How long had she been here? How long had she been moving? It felt like it'd been days- lonely day after lonely day, searching forever for… something. Herself? A purpose?
An answer to why she was the way she was.
Memories rose in her mind, unbidden even as spikes of pain shuddered through her system- a shock of fire to her side, blades slicing into her arm. Bullets, embedding in her skin. She wanted to scream, but even then… she couldn't.
She remembered… suffocating. The clawing feeling of dread. That night in the woods. Her sister, carrying her along. Why did her sister bring her out into the cold, out into danger? She remembered… White. Black. Yellow.
Green?
Come back!
She gasped, feeling ice cold pain jutting into her chest, stabbing at her heart like nails- no, like a hand , gripping her heart and holding her and clawing her down even as she tried, tried, tried to move forward, to regain control- of what?
Of…
She was trying to pull herself out of this morass of hatred and death because it wasn't her. It wasn't her . It was that endless swell of matter that made up her body, the essence of annihilation, but it wasn't her .
"I am… not… just… a machine… to kill. I am no one's perfect creation…"
"So then what are you?"
A voice, so similar to her own, but so much smaller, so much younger.
She could almost see it now- a younger… her . Red cloak flapping in the wind, wolf ears perched jauntily with a smile on her face. Free and unburdened and young.
It reminded her of… someone else. Someone green. Someone… beautiful. Amazing. Pure. Kind.
Someone who… made her feel warm.
"If you aren't just a killing machine sent to destroy everything, then what are you? Who are you going to be? Who do you choose to be? Who are you when no one is dragging you down, when no one is trying to hurt you, when you're just existing as you are?"
"I…"
She gritted her teeth, struggling against that bone white hand embedded in her heart, grabbing hold of it with everything she could as she ripped it from her chest, screaming as a burst of motivation, of energy, of hope suddenly blasted against her soul and ripped through the heavy fog of darkness and anger that had pinned her down into a swamp of despair and self doubt.
Ruby! Take my hand!
"I… am Ruby Rose!" she roared, taking a step onto dry land, pulling herself out of the muck with a scream of effort, rioting against the presence that had tried to dominate her before, pushing back with everything she had as the fog in her mind slowly lifted, pushing away the presence of Salem, who had done this to her, who had trapped her in her own mind. "I… am… a HUNTRESS!"
She could see the light now, green and silver and leaking everywhere as she felt herself growing smaller and smaller, could feel the mass of her own body whittling down bit by bit as those outside fought and fought and ripped away at the mindless instinct that took her body and twisted her unconscious thoughts into rage and servitude.
"I wasn't made to kill! I wasn't made to be a violent thing! I am no one's perfect creation! I am myself and I am not going to be controlled by some witch who thinks she knows my mind better than I do!"
She climbed, ripping herself upwards little by little as she reached upwards, further upwards, her eyes filling with silver light as she pulled herself out of the hole in her own soul that she'd been thrown into, reaching towards the voice of the one she loved most.
"I am a Huntress, I am a hero, and I need to see-"
"Ruby!"
"Penny!"
She screamed as the light above became bright and blinding and silver-
"I am a protector!"
The resistance vanished. The chains around her broke. Ruby Rose ripped herself free from the grimm mass, hand clutched tightly against Penny's as every single eye on her bestial form erupted in silver light that washed over the world with blinding brightness- all other things disappearing in the face of the pure color of creation.
Someone screamed in the background, and although Ruby could hear it, she focused instead on the face of Penny Polendina- soft and full of care and love and concern as the redheaded girl held her hands.
"I'm sorry I made such a mess of things," Ruby murmured softly, laying there in Penny's lap and trembling as the light around them slowly died down bit by bit.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you from the start," Penny answered, drawing Ruby into a soft, gentle hug. "And I'm glad you're back with us now."
"Thank you… so much. I… I don't know what happened… I'm sorry…"
"It's okay, my beloved. It's over now. You're safe. You're safe…"
Ruby shuddered, heedless of the chaos around them as she clung to Penny's form like a lifeline, trembling as she felt her body writhe as it slowly pulled itself back together. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, she began to relax as Penny's strong, steady arms held her close- listening to Penny murmur out sweet nothings into her ears as she slowly, slowly, slowly fell into an exhausted slumber.
Notes:
The immediate threat is gone, but the plot keeps trucking...
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