Chương 14: Preparation and A 'Friendly' Talk With Merlin
Ever since Artoria called for war, the entirety of Camelot's population has been moving around like they have a fire lit under their ass.
I mean, I understand why...but jeez. It's only a war, you know? Not that I'm not excited or anything. But right before a battle, you need to stay calm. If you lose your shit before then, you're nothing but a liability who's bound to fuck up something.
What am I doing? Training, I guess. Though I say training, it's more like I'm punching stuff.
Why? Because this is what the system told me my next piece of training should be. In the systems words, not my own, I need to find out the different forces needed to injure something on the inside without harming the outside. Doing that should help elevate my control over my kinetic energy even further.
Right now, when I punch something, I just go all in and punch through it. It's simple. It's getting the job done as of lately.
...But it has it's limits. This type of bypassing power can help me against particularly resistant opponents. Opponents with armor that's too thick for my current strength or with an external body to strong for me to injure.
It's the next step in the things I need to learn. Some Wuxia shit, I guess.
Punching the device I'd conjured up to help train this, I heard the gong of metal and instantly cursed up a storm as I failed again.
The training device was practically a piece of metal held in the air by two posts of wood. Behind the piece of metal was a sturdy ceramic pot on top of a pedestal. The idea of this training was to sending my force through the piece of metal without damaging it or making a sound but still be able to break the ceramic pot.
Once I could do that, I'd up the difficulty with a harder piece of metal and a harder pot. I'd continue doing it until I could throw a full-powered punch and have everything attack the insides of my opponent, if I needed it to.
Settling into my stance again, my knees slightly bent and my right foot behind my left, I pulled back my fist and sent a soft punch at the metal sheet.
I had to feel the energy in the punch. The power.
And I had to feel the metal and how to bypass it. To move through it. Energy is transferred from one thing to another. That's an honest to god basic. It can't be created or destroyed. Only stored and transferred. But right now I'm trying to alter the equation - I'm not transferring it to the metal sheet despite hitting it. I'm trying to send it through the sheet to hit the ceramic pot behind it.
All without damaging the metal or making a noise. What kind of training is this, man...
As my fist was about to come into contact with the metal, I took a hold of the force being generated in my arm--in the punch itself. I took control of it...and I tried to thread the needle, so to speak.
I concentrated my senses as much as I could and I followed the force as my fist hit the metal. Time seemed to slow down as I pushed everything I could out of my head.
I only concentrated on the kinetic energy leaving my hand. I felt the metal through that energy. I looked over the surface, feeling through a way through.
Focus more.
I looked, no, I felt even closer to the metal. Every groove. Every imperfection and every bump. I felt it all. But I needed to feel deeper. To find the way through.
If the system gave me this way of training, there was a secret to getting through it. Some valuable lesson that would help me advance.
And just as I thought that, it appeared.
There were...channels--Pathways--all through the metal, to the other side. I directed some of the force through the biggest pathway...and it just glided through. No damage. No sound. When I tried to send the force of the punch through the other holes, it was too late and the metal let out a gong before denting inward slightly.
But I didn't care, "...So that's how to do it," I mused to myself as I looked down at my fist, clenching and relaxing it before I smiled and walked off to the side to collect another metal sheet, "How interesting~"
As I picked up the sheet, I heard a voice behind me, "You train in peculiar ways, Gabriel. Tell me, how do you come up with them?" I heard the lazy yet infinitely curious voice that I'd grown to dislike somewhat over the months I'd known it.
Taking in a deep breath, I sighed before turned around, "Merlin," I greeted before walking back to the training device and began to refit the new sheet, "I guess I'm just clever like that, huh?" I gave a vague and overly sarcastic answer. Why the hell would I ever tell Merlin such a secret? The type of guy who tells a young girl she needs to drop all emotion to be King isn't the type of person I can get along with, I'm afraid.
I can see his point...but bloody hell, at least let her keep some hobbies, you know? Being objective and doing good for the Kingdom is a King's job. Being an object instead of a person, however, isn't a King's job.
"Like always, your mysteriousness continues to come through, Gabriel" he gave a short laugh, to which I didn't reply as I finished putting the metal in place.
Settling into my stance again, I went to punch when Merlin spoke up, "Why do I get the feeling you're annoyed with me?" he asked and I let out a grunt before turning my head to him.
"I wouldn't know why you'd get a thought like that when you're so politely interrupting my training, Merlin," I sarcastically replied before turning back to the device, "Now piss off before you don't just 'get the feeling' I'm annoyed, you'll actually know it when I hit you so hard you'll forget you're a half-Incubus Mage," I growled at before throwing a punch.
I got the kinetic energy of my punch through three of the pathways and put a crack on the pot behind it.
But such progress and my excitement over it was dampened by Merlin giving a slow clap from the sidelines. My teeth ground together and my veins bulged but I kept myself under control - I was not a pet or a slave to my own instincts and rage. Not outside of a fight. Even inside of a fight, I was the one holding the leash as they lashed out.
"Why are you here, Merlin? Haven't you got someone else to pester?" I asked with a frown, turning away from the metal and toward the idiot to the side of me. Merlin, hearing my question, laughed before waving his hand and conjuring a table and two chairs opposite one another.
Letting out a low growl, almost unconsciously, I walked over to the seat and sat down at the same time as Merlin. I looked to him, wanting him to explain and asking him to with my expression.
In the mean time, I calmed myself. I could always train after this annoyance leaves.
"You've changed, Gabriel. Beyond being the beast of the battlefield, you've actually grown some restraint. I was half expecting you to attack me for interrupting your training," Merlin laughed calmly as he scanned over me with his lilac eyes.
Hearing him, I scoffed, "I was thinking about it but then I realized something," I said before leaning back into my chair and smiling, "If I lost control, I would've killed someone...or a lot of someones. Then all this fun would have disappeared right in front of me and who knows how long I'd have to wait until another opportunity like this comes along? Plus, there's a war coming up. I can hold in the bloodlust for a little longer. I'm not an amateur after all," I laughed and Merlin followed my example, leaning back and laughing as well.
Though his laughter was very forced, whereas mine wasn't.
"And you think I'd let you do that, Gabriel? Don't tell me you'd be so naive," he chuckled, to which I shrugged.
"A fight between you and me would be...in your favor, I admit. You know most of my abilities and I don't know all of yours. But what I do know is that I could easily get to the nearest mass of people without you catching me and force a fight there. Then everything would devolve into chaos and carnage," I said before seeing Merlin's grim but surprised look, "Hey, I might be a brute but I'm not a stupid one, you know? I'll use every advantage I can get. After all, a fight's a fight. Honor's got nothing to do with it."
Merlin went silent for a second before leaning forward, losing his facade of politeness, "That's surprising," he said in a offhand manner before continuing, "Onto why I came here. I have a question, Gabriel."
Waving a hand, I replied, "Ask away, Merlin."
"...Why are you still here? Why haven't you left for another part of the vast world?" he asked.
Bringing a hand to my chin, a smirk on my face, I tapped my finger against my skin, "Hmm," I let out a hum, taking my time to think about why I was still here and I quickly found my answer, "Because if there's anything I'm certain that I have, it's time. Time to spend doing things I want. The time I spend here in Camelot? It's but a fraction of the life I will live. It doesn't matter if I spend months, years or decades here, I'll still have plenty more months, years and decades left. In the big scheme of things, the time I spend here is like a weekend off from work. This is a holiday for me and I plan to savor it for as long as I can."
Merlin heard what I said and smiled before he went to answer, but instead I cut him off as I leaned forward, a wide smile on my face, "Though a good question to ask would be...why are you here, Merlin?"
"I don't understand quite what you mean? I'm the King's Court Mage and I'm here to help her bring greatness to her kingdom--" he went to give some kind of bogus response but I waved my hand about.
"No, no...just no. Merlin, we both know what you're doing isn't helping Artoria. You poisoned her mind with your words, Incubus," I spat, feeling the rag inside simmering to the top again, "You pushed her to be an object. Not a King but a soulless, non-feeling machine. So, tell me, why are you here?"
Hearing me, Merlin's smile didn't leave his face but a certain light in his eyes disappeared before he replied, "I'm here because fate wills it, Gabriel. Just like it wills everyone to be where they're needed to be. Artoria...needed to be born because Uther asked for it from me. As soon as the thought was brewed in his head, it had to happen. Fate willed it so, and because of that, fate willed her to be a Ruler unlike no other. I simply helped her in becoming the ruler she was meant to be--"
"Okay, so you're here because fate wills it. That's all you needed to say. None of that dramatic crap about Uther or fate deciding for her to become a ruler. But speaking about that, did you ever think to ask what Artoria wanted or what your machinations would do to her? A few days ago she was on the edge of mentally receding into herself and she's still only a few steps away from that same edge," I mused.
Merlin sighed before looking to me with legitimately sincere eyes, "I know what I've done to Artoria and I regret it. Some words I said in a offhand manner--words that weren't supposed to be taken seriously, seem to have become what her impression of a King is. But why do you, of all people, care--"
"I don't. I don't care what you've done. I've done worse. I've killed hundreds, if not thousands of people. Maybe even more than that," I said before pointing at myself, "That's how bad I am - I can't even remember how many people I've killed, Merlin. Even if I hadn't done that, I've tortured and brutalized people. I've burnt towns and villages to the ground in my travels through Europe. What I care about is how you hide behind some facade like you're not a bad person. You mentally manipulated a young girl into being the 'ideal' Ruler because of something as flippant as fate," I said before standing up and stretching myself a little.
Merlin went silent before he spoke up in reply, "...And what is this accomplishing? Like you said, you're just as bad as me. If not worse...by your own admission, after all," he smiled, his lack of seriousness back.
"Stop acting the way you act, Merlin. Stop hiding behind whatever this--" I waved my hand at his smiling face, "--facade is. It's annoying to watch. Artoria respects you, so show her some respect back and treat her like a person, not some object of fate or whatever bullshit you were sprouting."
Upon hearing me, Merlin chuckled before replying, "Oh? Is the Grey Devil finally found someone he cares for? A friend, even?"
Upon hearing him, I looked right at him...and laughed.
An uproar of sound pouring out of my chest, shaking the surroundings as I howled in laughter. Merlin looked confused but I continued laughing. After a few more seconds, I slowly stopped myself before wiping a tear from my eye, "Ah~ What a good one, Merlin," I chuckled, "It's true, I do like her. Morgan as well. I'd even call them my friends because unlike you, while I may be a half-human, I'm not ruled by my instincts to hate humans or to feel apathetic toward them. Not anymore, anyway. I understand that despite their flaws, Humans are worthy of some amount of respect and I respect their free will because I understand the importance of free will. Which is why seeing someone get used like a puppet is especially annoying, I guess," I said this with my back turned to Merlin, and I looked over my shoulder at him with a half-smile, "Though respecting them...it's only as much as you can respect an inconsequential being that is just a passerby in your life, after all," my half-smile turned to a smirk as I walked back over to the training device.
"Oh, and Merlin?" I said a pleasant smile on my face. The mage turned to me and I continued, "Go away, yeah?"
The mage just looked at me before shaking his head and getting up. The table and chairs went 'poof' and disappeared and Merlin quickly followed. Now that he was gone, I thought back on what he said and what I said.
The respect I held for humans only came from my last life. Without my previous life...I'd be a different person in this one.
Without knowing of Artoria from that life, I wouldn't have come to see her as a student or someone I like either. Safe to say without my previous life I wouldn't be all that attracted to the opposite sex. I'd be focused on fighting and killing all the time. So I wouldn't have shown much interest in Morgan either.
They obviously...mean something to me. But it's different. It's not a traditional friendship or interest in Morgan's case. It feels different to how it was when I was a human back in my previous life.
Thinking about it, I wouldn't be in Camelot without my previous life's influence on the current me.
If anything, without my previous life, I would've probably been put down by some big shot already. I would've killed everything like a Xenomorph would have. Mix that with the animalistic instincts of the Hanma and Fanalis bloodlines and I wouldn't have stopped. Which would've led to problems.
The Guts bloodline is the least problematic which is nice to know. One bloodline I don't have to worry about.
But it's not enough to put me at ease...
Control. I need to keep control otherwise I'll be controlled by my instincts.
Even now I feel like ripping people apart. Yet I, myself, don't want to. I want to live a life that's fun and interesting. A fulfilling life. Murdering people in cold blood because of my instincts...that isn't very fun, honestly.
Settling into my stance, I began my training again, all the while, making sure I held the reigns tight on my instincts and the anger that had began to boil just now when I spoke to Merlin.
...Who knew having some cool ass bloodlines would be so much effort, huh?
SUY NGHĨ CỦA NGƯỜI SÁNG TẠO 
Lazyy
Lazyy A bit of a deeper look at Gabriel toward the end. I know I make him out to be happy-go-lucky all the time but he isn't without problems. His instincts do come from some pretty aggressive and hotblooded bloodlines, so him having a hard time to control himself shouldn't be a surprise, honestly.
Merlin is also a lot like the MC...but he's on the opposite side. Gabriel is Chaotic Neutral while Merlin is Lawful Neutral. They're somewhat the same but fundamentally different. Hence why the clash this chapter happened. Gabriel values free will and respects it, while Merlin values order and thinks everything must be in order and follow fate/destiny. One rocks the boat, the other tries to keep it steady.
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