Chương 33: Weak and strong 33
After everyone came to practice we didn't talk much as before but Lucien lingered near me often giving me wistful glances. I sighed unable to concentrate and kept missing my targets. I was sure were now becoming entertainment for the rest of the trainees. They laughed at us, not to our face of course with Lucien being the prince. They only backed off when Amir came. He nodded at me and raised his eyebrows at Lucien who only frowned at him.
"So you have decided to grace us with your presence. To what do we owe this pleasure?", he asked. Then he looked at me and uttered never mind. I was embarrassed like never before. I wished for Lucien to leave instead of making us a joke in front of all.
" I have to make sure you train my girl here instead of flirting with her", he said non committedly. I gasped at his words. He wasn't hiding anymore instead making clear to everyone that he cares for me. I knew it wasn't a lie because he was a great person and he saved me a practical stranger years ago. If I was in his place I highly doubt that I would do the same.
"You heard him missy let's get this show on the road", said Amir I sighed and followed him. He didn't come behind us thankfully but his eyes never left me.
" So you want to do archery? asked Amir. I shook my head in negative. I didn't want to look like a fool. I knew my mind and hands are not in the same place. Amir looked at me questionably.
"I'm distracted now so I won't be able to perform", I said in low voice. He frowned at me and even Lucien looked concerned at my dejected expression.
" So what do you think is going to happen in the middle of a fight. These quiet places you train won't be there in the middle of a fight. You will have to face backstabbing, hunger and even friends dying. If you get distracted how will you fight?", he asked me.
"I don't know", I answered back.
" You must fight with all you have. No one is going to be out there to protect you. Life and death will be based on your choice", said Amir.
"That's enough Amir stop scaring her. It's not like she is going to the front lines. She is only here to train no need for her to become your pet soldier", said Lucien still fuming at Amir.
" She is strong Lucien but you will never see it because you only see her as your girlfriend. But I know she is a warrior and she needs to hear this more than anything", said Amir.
"I said it's enough and if you don't want to start a fight you better shut your fucking mouth", shouted Lucien.
I held a hand around Lucien to hold him back. I know that we are causing ruckus here but I didn't care. I was only blaming Lucien but it was my fault that I could not concentrate on anything but him.
" He is right. I know I can do this. Please", I said to him. He looked at my pleading face and backed away. I looked at Amir expectantly. I knew Lucien couldn't train because of his feelings towards me. I'm also trapped we could never be platonic trainers and trainees.
The lack of objectivity could ruin my training. I should train under Amir and learn my faults or I will never succeed.
"Tell me what to do?", I asked Amir. He nodded his head and moved away to take an apple and threw it to Lucien at a lightning speed I couldn't see it. I sometimes forget they are far too superior to me in terms of strength and hearing. The only way to beat them is to improve me. If I keep on letting my petty feelings before me I would bite the dirt.
" Lucien hold it above your head", he said. I let out a gasp.
"Mara I want to get that Apple held by Lucien", he said.
"I can not do it", I said. Amir sighed.
" You must do it. Training is not about overcoming physical weaknesses. You have to be strong mentally as well or your enemy will use it against you.
"I can't ask him to do it. He might not want to become an experiment", I said not convinced. Lucien threw me an air kiss and held it above his head.
" There you have your answer. Now do it. I know him he has zero patience", said Amir.
I took a deep breath and aimed my arrow. It flew as I released my breath from his hand struck by my arrow. He smiled at me my eyes were moist.
"You did it Mara", said Amir hugging me.
" The problem was that you saw your love for Lucien as a weakness. But it is a strength as well. You kill birds flying around without seeing. But you have trouble with emotions. If you don't let them out they will consume you", he said.
It already does consume me on every level. I have come here with a vow to destroy every lycans I see. While there is an Igor there is a Lucien too. There can be a hundred bad lycans but there is an Amir too. The world can never be seen as black and white. I know that now. The problem is that I just don't know what to do but I must decide right away or it will be too late.
I knew what I should but I have to be honest about it. I mustn't make excuses anymore and must do what I should and I knew who was going to help me. I know she will never say no to me. Even if she thinks I was crazy.
Lucien came my way in long strides and picked me up and hugged me. I hugged him back knowing that this must be our last hug. If my plan works then Lucien and I would be a closed chapter.
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