Chương 28: New chapter 28
Who was Lucien to me? This is a question I never could answer. If I was honest to myself, we are the same but also different. He was somebody who tries to hide the fact of how he cares for those birds. I on the other hand never chose to hide my emotions even if I should. The thing that was same for us is that both of us care a lot much more than we should. Emotions make us stupid, but how could we not? There was no difference between Lycan and human, after all. I only wished that he wasn't my mortal enemy. Then there could have a future for us. But never here, he won't stop me, no matter what happens between us.
When we returned to our place both of us were silent unwilling and uncompromising, but there was something that made room for themselves and that was nothing else but a friendship. We have begun our journey by grand gesture, but only now we understood what we are to each other. The friendship is the only thing we should settle. Even that could turned out to be bad for us. I don't care not anymore. I wanted a friendship from the man who was my soul mate,, unfortunately. I was selfish like that. I can't pretend the attraction doesn't exist but would rather turn it into something positive.
When we returned home, we were greeted by something unpleasant rather someone. It was Arya, her eyes were blazing with jealousy and hatred. When she saw us together,, she couldn't help but came charging towards me. I couldn't even gather myself for that split second,, and she was already on me. A moment later, she was dragged away from me. I now know why Lucien insisted on me learning combat moves, they were so fast you could hardly catch them with your eyes. It was aching where she attacked me. But thank God Lucien was here to save my ass. But on a second thought, I wouldn't have been on this situation if he wasn't involved with me.
I took a second then jumped on my feet, trying not to look chagrined at my poor defense. But Lucien was holding on to Arya, who was growling and has now managed to shift half the way. "Enough he", he said, growling back at her. "Calm the fuck down, or I will break your fists", said Lucien ominously. She growled harder than stopped shaking. Her face shifted back to her normal self which wasn't ugly to my disappointment. She was beautiful and if I hadn't met him who knows what would have happened.
"You can't possibly choose this cunt over me ", she said. I winced at her words. I wasn't a prude, and even dropped f bombs quite often. But being called a cunt was worse than being called a bitch. I would rather everyone call me Mara. I deserve her wrath,, I suppose. I was the one who was stealing her would be husband. The thought made me gag.
"That's enough Arya. I hate to see you like this. I told you how it will be, and you agreed", he said. "It hurts when you sleep with her every night you are here and refuse to even kiss me", she said. I could see her hurt and embarrassment to make that admission. I wanted the earth to swallow me. This was too personal to be done in front of me. I wanted to escape from here,, but I also wanted to stay here to make sure she wasn't going to seduce Lucien. I hate myself for turning to be just like her.
"It's over Arya. I want an out. I would like to wish you the best of your life", he said quietly. "Don't Lucien. I know you wanted to be with her. I was ok with that. But you wanted only her. That was our problem", she said, her eyes misted. I could see that she cares for him, that would explain her possessiveness. Her hatred for me was coming from the fear of losing him to me. But sporadically we try so hard, making us lose the very object we are dearly trying to hold on to.
"Now that it's over I have news for you", she said, her voice tight. Lucien raised his eyebrows, partly fearing her. She was like a ticking bomb. I could see it in Lucien's eyes as well as mine. "I had an offer a while ago. Now that we are over, I would like to accept", she said looking at Lucien with narrowed eyes. He sighed and answered, "I would like to be happy, Arya. Is that Devon?", he asked, not sounding too interested. She smiled, which was more like a grimace. She didn't sound too happy about the proposal but was very determined.
"No it's not Lucien, it's someone else. I'm not supposed to talk about that unless it's announced in the court", she said, hoping for a mixed signal from him. I felt pity for her. But I wasn't in a better place than her. If Lucien rejected her, she could still go and have the next best guy available. But of Lucien leaves me, there was no more option for me. I will be captured by Igor. I can't let it happen. If he so little as to touch me, I won't be alive to see the next day. He took my parents from me, he can't take my honor as well.
Arya stormed away from the room, and we were left in an awkward situation. "I'm sorry for your loss", I told him, trying to make it less awkward. "I didn't lose anything", he said, distracted. "Why did you break up with her?", I asked him. "Are you kidding me, Mara. You really don't know the answer to that question? ", he asked me. I didn't say anything, I remained where I was unsure of my next step. It has never happened to me before. I wanted to say something, but I could bring myself and stared outside. It was raining now,, but it was calmer outside than inside our hearts. He had just started a fresh chapter in his life,, and where did that leave me?
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