A face of horror somehow displayed in YaYa's face. The matter about the system is quite complicated compared to what it looks like.
All parts of it, from codes, programs, to how it operates on their own. Compared to robots which have a physical form, a system is highly sensitive to viruses, hacking and network manipulation.
Ryaa wasn't sure of how to react. Infact, even if YaYa didn't say anything about the Abyss Nightmare and Lucid Dreamer, she herself is already enough to prove the complicated social of a system. Moreover, her visible appearance that no one could see except him.
Not long after the journey, the taxi stops at the entrance of the hospital.
"We've arrived"
Ryaa paid out the fair by card. The remaining amount in his account wasn't enough to feed him by the end of the week. In addition to that, not only he himself are going to eat but also a baby parasite inside him that's been growing uncontrollably every second.
The driver swipe the card and handed back the card to Ryaa's hand.
When he was about to get out of the car, the driver spokes to him.
"Young man, if you have a little chance of what it seems to be the only way to get rid of what stuck in your heart, let it go" With a smile form within the driver's dried lips and wrinkled eyes, he continue "If only I got the chance as you do, I'll gladly let them all go and start with a new"
Ryaa didn't butter up but only looking at the driver's expression. There's sadness, guilt, regret and grief in his eyes but the only thing that Ryaa notice is that the driver's smile is a soulless one.
He doesn't know what the driver means by his words but it actually hit him hard. Not only did he not let go of his hatred but also promise himself of not wanting to be the same as the past.
Ryaa weakly smiled back and said "I don't understand what you mean Sir but even if I was given the chance, I won't let it go"
He took the card and lightly squeeze in it then continued "But it doesn't mean I can't be happy"
Finally, before closing the door, he bowed at the driver that instantly nodded back at him and wave his hand.
The taxi is already far out of his sight but the words remain in his mind.
["If only I got the chance as you do, I'll gladly let them all go and start with a new"]
Let it go, Ryaa clenched his fist, no one was there to help him when he suffered, no one was there when he needs a shoulder to cry, no one was there when the pain is unbearable, no one was there when his body started to get rotten and numb. All of this he suffered it alone in a room that seems to be a prison instead of a comfortable space. It was a hell in appearance of heaven.
Looking at the bright sky and a flourish sun, he took a step in to the hospital.
In the lobby, Ryaa already saw a long line of people queuing up in the administration and counter section. Danmei Hospital is not only known for it's name without a purpose. Not only because it is fully equipped with high-end technologies, complete facilities but also each personnel working in this establishment are all professionals that regards more about their patients without gibe. They tend to attend any of patients in or out. Even those whom only gone for a check up had been thoroughly served, politely and rightfully with respect.
Unlike any other hospitals, Danmei Hospital is also and mostly known for the beauty of each working personnel gathered in one place. From nurses, care givers, to doctors; all of them can be on par with a celebrity or even a model.
Ryaa intimidatingly sit on a vacant couch next to him. This is his first time entering such hospital. Looking around the area, it doesn't much resembles a hospital, rather, it's much more of a house that made him feel an awe. The decorations, style, even from smallest details such as wallpapers, lightnings and paintings, plants of different species and size, tables that even the chair he's been sitting on, they're all have a homey-vibe that no one would actually believe it was a hospital from the inside.
But the weirdest part in this hospital or probably the most noticable one upon entering is a large painting in the above middle below a glimmering chandelier facing the entrance that attached inside a fiber glass. The painting is oddly specific as it was big crown with a pumpkin inside and a sleeping baby on top. It's color is a vibrant orange mixed with gold as ornaments and scattered candies surrounded by for it to look even more dazzling and eye-catching.
Ryaa stares at the painting or more likely at the sleeping baby. Somehow, a very familiar sense suddenly ignited. As his eyes glued only to the baby on top, Ryaa didn't notice a man is already sitting beside him.
"Cute isn't? He was called a 'Miracle Baby' "
The man smiled but as if Ryaa didn't hear anything at all that he remain looking at the painting.
Embarrassment filled the man's face as he cleared his throat and spoke once again.
"Do you know why this painting is the only one with a special regard even though most of the paintings here are worth money?"
By this time, Ryaa turn around and instantly almost spit his own spit after knowing the person sitting beside him.
"Dr. Hindelr?"
His startled face causing Hindelr to chuckle adorably "Oh, you know me?"
"Well... It was written in your name plate"
Pointing out by his long thin, pale finger, Ryaa thought to himself [I can't say I personal know you from my past life]
"Oh.. I see"
"First time here?"
Ryaa nodded.
"I see. All first timer here usually stare at that painting. Maybe you didn't know but this hospital may seem fancy and luxury that common people are afraid to go here thinking the cost might be too much for them, but in reality, it is all just a wrap"
Hindelr didn't blink as he keep staring of the painting. His complexion is a bit down and lost.
[He seems to be in a low spirit. Is he alright?]
Before this, there was even a rumor that the hospital was designed this way solely because the family of Danmei Hospital made it as a tribute of the deceased family member.
It was said that the baby died when it was about to reach 9 months old due to a fire incident.
"This building used to be a mansion that was supposed to be a gift to that 'Miracle Child' but since that 'accident' occured 21 years ago, they decided to turn it into a hospital to cover up the grief of their loss"
Ryaa isn't the type to actually be interested in the inside story of anything. Infact, nothing seems to attract his interest in a different level. Though, he is a good listener, he is not a good adviser. He only likes to listen but never to speak out words of wisdom nor comfort, if possible he would be willingly to speak out what is on his mind.
As he was waiting for a reaction, Hindelr broke a laugh as he saw Ryaa looking at him with a dead eyes followed by a words he never expected to hear.
"What is his name?"
Hindelr was surprised with the question. No one living in this city can forget the biggest tragedy befall upon that family.
"What?"
"The baby..... What is the baby's name"
"Oh" Hesitation was written all over the Hindelr's face. The thought of voicing out the name of his beloved brother gives him uneasy feeling. But despite this, he uttered the name with a loving tone "Dýně... Danville Dýně"
"Pumpkin?"
"Yes? You speak Czech?"
"Not really but I know a thing or two"
"I see. Anyway what are you doing here?"
"Check up"
"Do you feel any discomfort?"
"Not likely but I was told to do so"
"Right"
Hindelr look at his wrist watch in disappointed "Guess my time is up. Catch you up later, still got a lot of patients waiting. Bye"
"Yes, see you soon"
Hindelr didn't know the meaning behind those words as he just trade his way until he vanished from Ryaa's sight.
An hour already had pass but Ryaa's name still wasn't called. As the clock continue to run, Ryaa somehow started to felt drowsy. He slightly closed his eyes and lean his back into the chair, crossing both his arms together, Ryaa unknowingly fall asleep.
When he open his eyes, he is now laying in a comfort bed. Though not big enough but it still fit his size.
First thing comes in his view is a full white surrounding with a curtain that covers half of the glass window.
[Where am I?]
He started to get up but was caught in the middle when the curtain flew as Hindelr step in.
"Your awake"
He pass a cup of herbal tea into Ryaa's hand and drag a chair next to him.
"I never thought that we'd meet again"
Ryaa only humm in return "Where am I?"
He looked at the cup with a little flower floating in it before sipping in.
"Obstetric Department"
Ryaa spit our the tea as well as Hindelr stood up worriedly as he gently tap Ryaa's back.
"Are you okay? Is the tea doesn't taste good?"
Coughing several times, Ryaa rise his hand and said " Yes, I'm fine. The tea is good I was only shocked for a moment"
A long sighed of relief was made before Hindelr return to his seat.
"So what brings you here? You know this department is only for pregnant women, right?"
Ryaa didn't speak nor look at Hindelr. His head remain stoop afraid to say anything.
Seeing this, Hindelr continue " I was shocked as to why your name is listed as one of my patients. At first, I thought you were with your wife but only registered your name but I remember you were only with your child so I thought I might misread it"
"A child?"
Ryaa becomes confused. He doesn't remember bringing a child along with him nor having a child living with him. And it's mostly like impossible for him to give birth in such a shortest period of time. Then who is this child?
But on the second thought, the moment he entered the hospital, Ryaa doesn't seem to noticed YaYa's presence near him as if she disappeared without a trace. Just then, he vague remembered a little girl sitting next to him. He doesn't give her a second glance since he doesn't have any interest to do so. And in the end, it was YaYa all along.
"Yes, a little girl about 3-4 years old. Is she not your child?"
There is no explanation on how he will make up a story. Ryaa isn't good at making lies nor have the habit of creating tales to deceived. But the situation is too critical to deny. He cannot simply utter a word that can trigger the system that might result to unimaginable event. Thus, without a choice, Ryaa could only swallow his guilt and embrace the accusations.
"Right, I mean, she is with me. By the way, where is she"
"I told a nurse to play with her for a bit"
"Oh, I see. Sorry for the trouble "
"How old is she?"
"Hah???....."
Hindelr hit the bomb. Ryaa was in total freeze. One white lies turn into two in only a couple of seconds and now how is he supposed to cover it up? How is he supposed to know how old a system is. A hundred? thousand? Will someone believe him if he says that child is a mutant? To come up an age where he doesn't even know how tall is she; this is like cutting a flesh with a pine leaf.
But since Hindelr already estimated her appearance maybe he could make used of it.
"3 near 4"
"What is her name? She looked like a foreign"
"Her name... Her name is YaYa and she's of a mixed blood"
The more Hindelr asked the more guilt Ryaa felt.
"No wonder. So, what brings you here? Why are you listed, where's your wife?"
The time has come, Ryaa hesitated to speak. His lips somehow unable to utter a word like it was gluey and his heart started to beat faster. Due to his unexplainable body condition, he cannot simply open it up to anybody else. His body condition is globally rare that it is impossible to happen in real life but since Hindelr is the one who takes care of him in the past, it might be a lesser burden. But the thing is, the past is past but the present is different.
Hindelr patiently waiting for an answer as pile of questions had been stuck in his head since last night. Questions of either he wanted an answer or find it out on his own.
But seeing the trembling hands of Ryaa that reminded him of his terrible dream, Hindelr didn't pursue knowing anything. He tried reaching out his hand but hesitated for a second before finally, gentle holding Ryaa's hand soothing in out by caressing it carefully.
"Don't force yourself if you don't want to, I won't asked anymore"
Even though a disappointment is placed in his handsome face, Hindelr was hoping to know a little of this man. Even the tiniest bit would be enough to know. Perhaps his age, address or anything in common, it doesn't have to be personal or open as long as it involves him. But surprisingly Hindelr received more than what he hope for.
"I... I don't have a wife.. but I... I"
Clenching his hands, Ryaa closed his eyes not ready to accept any criticism and humiliation at any time. Despite being a man and despite hiding his condition to everyone even to his parents, this is his first time opening it up by himself. Even in the past, he never have the courage to speak a word about his body that even Kian himself didn't know. It was only until Hindelr manage to pinpoint the truth when he is already conceiving a child.
"You...."
Ryaa takes his full courage in one go. This is a gamble after all. All of his efforts in saving it will finally be spoken to. At this moment, Ryaa looked straight at Hindelr's eyes with his determination at full stake, he said "Dr. Hindelr, have you ever heard anything about a condition called Double Constitution?"
Momentarily, Hindelr was all silent. The urge to know more is almost killing him from the inside. How can a man know such thing? It wasn't even reported to the news nor being a topic in public, how come? But Hindelr only calmed down his inner self and uttered "Yes...." With. Long paused, he followed " Are you?"
Ryaa cannot hide it anymore. He started it himself. He slowly nodded his head while avoiding the coming gaze. Uncertain of how to describe his situation by words that doesn't affect the judgement of the people inside.
"I... Am"
"Don't tell me..."
Ryaa didn't speak but lower his head instead. The red face shows embarrassment and awkwardness that he started to embrace himself.
"Since when?"
Hindelr is not as shocked as Ryaa thought and supposed to be but rather calm and composed. As a professional doctor he already encountered numerous kind of condition in every patients in daily basis. As a matter of fact, he already thought of things like this the moment he saw Ryaa's name in his patient's list. It's just that he isn't fully aware that he'll face this kind of situation in his lifetime.
"I.. I'm not sure"
"Okay. First let's do a pregnancy test"
He walk to his cabinet near his desk and took a kit on it. He pass it down to Ryaa "I suppose you know how to use a PT right?"
"Yes"
"Get in the toilet and do it inside"
Ryaa hesitatingly enter the toilet while looking at the PT on hand. If he were going to used it, his condition will be formally known by someone for the first time. It's not like he wished to keep it a secret forever since he never thought of creating a family with a woman rather than a man.
Minutes passed before Ryaa get out of the toilet.
"How was it"
He passed down the PT revealing a two red lines on it.
"As expected. Come I'll do another check for you"
"For what?"
"I'm trying to figure out if you can withstand the future growth of the fetus inside your body. You seem like too frail and weak"
Hindelr lead Ryaa back to the bed. He gently lay down and obediently didn't move. Hindelr's preparing the apparatus. He then slightly remove Ryaa's clothe from the stomach and smear off a gel.
The process takes about an hour and a half doing every test. Now he is sitting infront of Hindelr waiting for him to tell the final results.
"Are you sure you want this?"
"Yes" Ryaa nodded. He personally doesn't like children but it does mean he hates them, it's just that he have a bitter taste hearing their laugh, smile and cry. Moreover, the child they're talking to is not just any child but his own child. Even if he doesn't like them, he still cannot bring himself to harm an innocent being just because of his recklessness and selfish act.
Hindelr didn't pursue the case anymore. He took off his glasses, looking straight to Ryaa and speak.
"I can see that your womb is much smaller than a woman's but actually enough for the fetus to grow from the early stage. Though, you might face some complications in the future, as the baby grows you might experience constant pain and aches from your abdomen but it is only natural so just endure it. Your body will slowly adopt the changes but it doesn't mean you will be careless of yourself. Your body might expand but it also means that your skin will go thin. As the fetus grow, there will be a high risk of miscarriage specially when you're at your 1st trimester. I advise you to double your caution and carefulness. Do not eat unnecessary in-takes. I'll prescribe you vitamins for you and your child. A light exercise will do but don't over do it. You have to do a following check up every month to monitor your health and conditions. By the meantime, please inform your parents or the father of that child so than someone can take care of you better"
The last words felt like a dagger pierced though his heart, Ryaa didn't know if it is the sign mockery or insult. Two words that cannot be said in one sentence. He laugh for himself. He never once thought he could hear the word 'family' again. This word is like a cursed to him that haunt him wherever he is. Even if he flew overseas and forget those things, they never leave him be. He struggled to survive leaving the terrible state away from his family. What's more, the so-called 'father' of his child is a bastard that killed him in his past life. A bastard that only uses his body for pleasure and lust. A bastard who he thought that will give him warmth but actually only served him sufferings and pain. He doesn't have a family other than himself. He doesn't have a partner other than himself, other than the baby inside him. Maybe this child's presence is a blessing in disguise instead of a mistake that will change and accompany him throughout the life.
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