I pedalled for what seemed like an eternity. Wandering around, hoping to never to be found. Lost in thought. Away from all distraction. I was convinced to start a life of a vagabond. No attach...moving place to place with no home. As far as I was concerned I ticked majority of the boxes. I glanced at my wheelchair, and questioned it.
"What if...I wasn't disabled and didn't rely on you," I asked "What if i could run, walk, leap, jump...all those physical actions? What if I wasn't different? But, difference is good! Yeah right! Being different is a tragedy. People are unwilling to look passed difference. We live in a society riddled by insecurity caused by a lack of acceptance. To people I will always be the cripple."
For some reason I felt the need to vent. Perhaps, it was the marijuana? That would not be a viable excuse if someone were to walk in on me right now...talking....to a wheelchair. I reached psycho levels that should not be possible. I actually was more focused on whether someone heard me than the pain of being on a wheelchair. Funny how quick thoughts change. I was not lucky. In the distance I heard a feminine laugh. I did not recognise it. The voice commented on what I intended to be a monologue.
"Man...you must be totally wasted to be talking to a wheelchair" it remarked. I did not reply out of pure same. It continued "Well were all lonely inside. What to talk to somebody?"
"That would be nice" I responded politely
"Hmmm...my name's Operia and I'm having arguable the worse night ever"
"I doubt your worse nights worse than my average"
"My nights a cluster fuck"
"My days are cluster fucks...nights worse. Like the product of if Slender-man and Freddie Kruger had a baby and the baby had sex with Jason from Friday the thirtieth and that baby decided to fuck my nights up"
"That was really descriptive"
"I thought you wanted to talk"
"Fair enough...but you still haven't introduced yourself"
"Walter"
"Agh...thats a pretty basic name...easy to remember"
"Thanks...I guess"
"Yep"
We stayed stationed for majority of the rest of the night. Our conversations continued in a similar manner. We talked about nothing and everything. We talked until the party pretty much ended. I went my way and she went hers. Now that I think of it, I never knew asked why her night was horrible. Wasted opportunity...I guess.
— Chương tiếp theo sắp ra mắt — Viết đánh giá
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ĐÃ NHẬN ĐƯỢC
Chương 6: State of mind
I was greeted at the door by Cassius. He was wearing what appeared to be a vintage Versace shirt with white vans, he was also gripping onto a cup( I suspected it was filled with alcohol).
"Hey, I'm glad you guys could make it!" He address Madison and I
"I'm glad you invited us" Madison expressed. She continued "I surprised your house is this massive!"
Cassius let out a laugh "The perks of your dad being an architect who is never home and your mother a therapist"
I was intrigued by the ability of a single smile and laugh. How the could allow you to say the darkest lines and still lighten up the atmosphere. Perhaps it wasn't the ability of a smile and laugh but rather Cassius himself. A smile and laugh could not remove the coldness of his gaze, it was for a brief moment, however it could not escape my attention for the simple reason, his eyes reminded me of my own in the moment. I observed all of this in silence. Cassius noticed my silenced and called out to me.
"So...Walter...you gonna do some party tricks on your wheelchair"
"Maybe if I have enough of whats in your cup I will" I remarked
"Well...don't let your legs stop your mouth from enjoying the devil's tears! Adios amigos!" he presented before disappearing into another room.
"Imma go get drinks. You coming?" Madison asked
"Sure! A drink or two could not hurt" I said in a celebratory tone before I lost sight of Madison too.
After chugging two beers I looked at the time. I was in dismay after realising it had just hit ten. In response I decided to head outside for a breather. I chose to go out because the noise of the music paired with the disgusting taste of beer was making my head spin. Outside the mansion was relatively quiet. Apart from the chirping of the birds and the random odd couple making out near the bushes it was abandon, of course except the group of stoners. Stoners were easy to identify. Simple because the just did not seem to care. They did not care that they smelt so pungently of marijuana. They did not seem to care that the night was freezing cold and only had the flame of their joints to keep them warm. They were in their own worlds, far from everything. I was envious of such thinking. For a second I pondered as to how it would feel to be high. I gave it a minute. Being ditched by both Madison and Cassius made me think, why not?
"Hey" I saluted the group of stoners
They did respond for a brief moment before one of them said enthusiastically "It's a freshmen"
"NO WAY! He is so cute and small" added another member of the group
"DUDE! You can't say that his on a wheelchair" snapped the third member
"HOLY SHIT! Your right. I'm truly sorry my dude. Wanna a j?" he offered as an apology. I took it. I took more than one joint that night.
Marijuana is one hell of a drug. At first it does not hit...or does it? If marijuana was a state it would be ambiguousness. Simple because you do not know why your feeling what your feeling. You know it is because of the marijuana but do not know you could feel like this. You feel mighty and at the same time you do not feel anything. Your mind is blank. Your mind is also filled with thoughts. You forget everything for a second. A state of no insecurities. A state full of insecurity and weakness. You are basically a train-wreck, but it feels so amazing. You opened a new dimension to yourself. You confront everything you did not want to know about yourself. I loved this and was high on this feeling. However, my new found confidence would be problematic in the long run.
SUY NGHĨ CỦA NGƯỜI SÁNG TẠO COokiez
I am not encouraging the use of marijuana. I've used it before. It works differently for different people. I must stress again; I AM NOT ENCOURAGING THE USE OF MARIJUANA.