Chương 19: Chapter 4: And So The Walls Begin To Crumble Part 4

The Aesir was always so genuine and polite and it really threw Loki for a loop, as he had no idea how to react to this behavior. If Thor were deceitful, cold, and calculating like himself, navigating their relationship would be much easier. But Thor was none of those things. Thor was a warm light in a world that was full of glacial darkness, he was loving and caring to someone that he shouldn't care about this much. He was patient and kind to Loki who was only cold and selfish in return, and although they'd only been together for three months, Thor treated him with a love and reverence that spoke of years and years of marriage.

And Loki didn't know what to do about it.

He thought that Thor's open heart would make it easier to manipulate and use him and while this was true, the Aesir was so genuine and compassionate that for the first time in his life, Loki felt guilty for wanting to manipulate and use someone. And as much as he hated it, there was a part of him that wanted to trust Thor too and take this leap into their new life together.

There was a part of him that wanted to try to love too.

These thoughts swirled through Loki's mind on an endless loop as he faced this dilemma, and it wasn't until he felt Thor press another soft kiss against his stomach that he was finally able to look down and speak. "Why are you like this?"

Thor raised an eyebrow up at the niouvi, confused. "Like what?"

"You're nice! You care! You're happy! I-I don't understand it! I-I don't understand you!" Once Loki started he found that he couldn't stop, and he pulled himself out of Thor's hold, the thoughts in his head now flowing freely from his mouth. "You're so nice to me! A-And you're actually happy to be with me! You're not mean or rude or crass, you're patient with me, I-I-I'm baffled!"

This was the first time Thor had ever seen Loki flustered and he laughed, an amused grin on his face. "Why would I be mean to you? We're married."

"But we just got married! You barely know me!"

"That doesn't mean I get to be rude to you, Loki. The second I accepted your proposal, I began to look at you differently. I don't want to cause pain or hardship to the person that I will grow to love, and I don't want to do anything to you that will prevent you from learning to love me." He stood up and reached out to Loki, taking his hands in his. "Just because this is a marriage of convenience, it doesn't mean that we can't grow to love each other."

Loki had never been this perplexed in his life and he shook his head, pulling his hands from Thor's. "You're not supposed to be like this!"

Thor turned his head a bit, raising a curious eyebrow. "How would you like me to treat you, Loki?"

"I don't know!"

Thor was very surprised to see Loki like this and took his hand again, sitting down and pulling him to sit down in his lap. "Why does being nice scare you?"

Shaking his head again Loki frowned, trying to make sense of his outburst. "How can you trust me? You don't know me… I'm a complete stranger that you were hired to kidnap. I threw myself at you to save myself!"

Sighing softly, Thor looked into Loki's rouge eyes, his hands coming to hold the niouvi's face. "There are many things that have happened in my life that should've killed me or turned me into a bitter man. I had my reasons for marrying you, just like you had your reasons for marrying me. Regardless of this, that doesn't mean that love can't bloom. I am attracted to every single aspect of you, and each day with you puts a smile on my face that lingers throughout the day. The Norns brought us together for a reason, and although we might not know why just yet, that doesn't mean the early years of our marriage have to be filled with strife."

Loki searched Thor's gaze, wanting to trust him terribly and feeling too scared. "I don't know how to care about someone, or how to be nice, Thor."

"Then I will teach you. Marriages are meant to help two people grow together into the best versions of themselves." Thor kissed Loki gently then, relieved when that seemed to relax the niouvi. "This is a partnership. I need you just as much as you need me, to accomplish our various goals in this life. And learning to love each other along the way will make this much more enjoyable for the both of us as long as we both try."

Loki didn't want to feel this vulnerable and exhaled slowly, trying to process everything.

Could… could he really trust Thor?

Although risky, he decided to reveal a sliver of his truth, wanting to see how Thor took it. "I don't know how to trust others, Thor."

"Then begin to work on trusting me," Murmured Thor, kissing Loki gently again. "Start with me. And I can only pray that my words and actions will be enough to prove to you that you can trust me."

Making the decision to try and trust Thor was one of the scariest things Loki had ever attempted to do. He gulped nervously, looking back into Thor's deep sea-blue eyes. "... Okay… I will work on this."

This put a radiant smile back on Thor's face, and he nodded, kissing Loki again. "Thank you."

Deciding to try and trust Thor was as exhilarating as it was terrifying, and Loki could only pray that he wasn't making a rash decision that would end up screwing him over in the end.