Chương 87: Update 3 (Final)
I'm alive.
Yeah. Throw the tomatoes. Yeah, I deserve it I know. Pulling a Houdini on my most loyal readers isn't the highlight I wanted this Webnovel career of mine to be but what can I say?
Life is a bitch.
Sometimes it's a baddie.
Sometimes it's a fucked up toxic ex kinda baddie and mine is bi-fucking-polar.
Pardon my French.
Yeah, me and the nurse broke up and it wasn't pretty. Especially on my mental. I won't get into the details since I'm way past that but yeah, I'll tell you one thing. Having a broken heart over a broken body tends to break your spirit as well, unfortunately. I don't have a vibranium armor over my sanity as I hoped or thought I had.
So I hope (I know) you'd understand why writing fanfiction wouldn't be one of my priorities.
But... I'm better now.
Actually, I'm fucking fantastic. Physically and mentally.
I've never been so good in fact.
I made a full recovery. Aced my physical therapy and relearned how to walk.
That was 6 months ago. I played my first football match (first in 5 years) 3 months ago and I am so back.
Yeah, it's just that I've been working on trying to change myself for the better on all fronts. I mended my relationship with my family, tried to quit sugar, started working out at home, started praying, and just have been good.
Yeah, and that's what I've been up to. Putting my head down and working on myself as cliche as it might sound.
My life is in no way perfect or even ideal in any way. The accident has given me PTSD and the fucking relationship has given me a weird cynical look about love and companionship. There is a hole in my heart and...
Honestly, I am not trying to fill it. I don't feel like the NEED to fill it. I'm so SO over love. It's weird. I don't hate 'love' I still love sappy love movies and cry over Titanic or some like a bitch boy but I am not enthusiastic about the idea of me being in a relationship again. I don't hate women but yeah I don't love the idea of loving one either.
That's how it is.
Making matters worse is the fact that, I'm struggling to get by on a day-to-day basis but if I can bitch about it then sure as fuck I can work to change it.
I've been doing some online favors for a friend so it's been helping me for now.
How it goes in the future we will see. But I'm alive and I'm gonna fight to survive.
So, why did I come here? Idk. I just felt I had made myself proud, and I felt brave enough to face you all.
I'm sorry. That I keep disappearing but life is disappointing.
And it doesn't start sucking any less no matter how much you cry and wail up to the good lord in heaven.
I've learned that.
Anyways, so what does this mean for me as a writer?
Yeah, I'm gonna write again but I'm not going to make any promises cause someone I trusted broke a lot of em and it hurt like a bitch and half and I don't wanna do the same. I don't wanna be like her so I rather not make any promises.
But yeah, I'll try my best.
How, I don't know. I have a rough idea and it's gonna start with this fic. I'm gonna rewrite this and continue the others.
It's going to take time of course cause I don't wanna overwhelm myself and I'd rather keep writing even at a turtle's pace than not at all.
I have a priority chart (ideas) so let's see.
1. I Am Peter Parker (MU) | Rewrite
2. I Am Toji Fushiguro (Marvel x DC) | Idea
3. I Am Sung Jinwoo (Solo Leveling) | Continue/Rewrite
4. The King Of Monsters (Kaiju No. 8 x Marvel)
The last one was an idea that I wanted to see how it would go so I released it on WN here under an alias called _CINDER_
The reception was kinda meh so it dampened my spirits a bit but I think I'll continue it here.
This is all of course if you care and will give my stories a chance again. I don't deserve it but I hope the same cause I'm still a hopeful asshat.
Anyways, with the trauma dumping over. How have you guys been? Any interesting movies, songs, or shows? I watched Deadpool 3 and frankly, no issues. The first Marvel movie I watched in a while ngl. I've been so out of it lately so there's that.
Anyway, let me know your thoughts about it.
Thanks for having me back. If you will.
I'm alive.
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