Everyone has those times when they doubt their decisions until this point. It is inevitable as long as you are not a complete narcissist who thinks of yourself as always right.
Doubting is human nature, and every human has doubts at some point.
Eleanor was no different than that.
She rose up in the ranks as a Hunter, trying to improve herself for the upcoming future and for her role.
After all, without knowing the path, how could she guide?
But even then, improving as an Awakened and a hunter had never been an easy task. It was taxing, and it took a lot of things from the person itself.
The more battles one encountered, the more fights one had with monsters, the more they would realize how cruel this world was, and to fit the world, one would need to become cruel as well.
And Eleanor was no exception. Being a genius hunter, she faced countless trials and countless betrayals.