Chương 94: Authentic Friendship
[Rei's POV]
I can't say that I didn't feel a little vindicated. It is my first time chasing after a boy, a confusing feeling filled with uncertainty. I don't know if Brand accepted me because I'm beautiful because I'm sexy... or merely because he just wants to fuck me and then leave me. As the uncertainty resurfaced, I realised how stupid I was... Brand is not like that.
He is a womanizing bastard... but he is not an irresponsible bastard. When I asked Takashi-kun to talk, he immediately flared. At least I know he cares about me.
...
I took the two of us to the balcony, the moon was shining high above us, creating the perfect scenery to settle down things once and for all. Saeko's words had woken me up from a stupor. I had been so inconsiderate of him...
"What do you want to talk about?" Takashi-kun scratched his head, a little awkward. I know, it is me who has caused this bad aura between us.
I bowed down as far as I could, feeling genuine shame for my actions.
"I'm sorry for everything, Takashi-kun... I have treated you so badly in so many ways, I hope that you can forgive me!"
"W-Why all of the sudden?" He was obviously stunned, going as far as to raise me up. When I looked at him now, I looked at the boy I had spent a lot of time with, my childhood friend... a person I no longer have feelings for, but nevertheless... a person that has always been there.
"I asked you out even though I didn't like you".
"..."
"I ignored your feelings and broke up with you just because it was convenient... totally uncaring of how you would feel about it"
"..."
"*sob* I even started going out with someone else... and completely disregarded how you felt to the point I didn't even talk to you about it. Your feelings... I'm sorry Takashi-kun! That is really... the behaviour of a real b*tch! I'm so sorry!"
I cried, not out of sadness but instead out of shame. When did I become so self-centred? thinking who was a better option... Hisashi, Takashi or Brand. Who I was going to go out with to feel better about myself? was it always just about me?
The realisation disgusted me.
"It is good that you noticed"
!!!
I looked up at him, he was smiling as he always does, uncaring.
"If you felt angry, you should have yelled at me or something!" I growled at him again, that is something that I hate so much, he's so agreeable, if you don't like something, you should complain, dammit! perhaps if you had complained to me, I would have realised my behaviour sooner.
"Would that have solved anything? it wouldn't... I knew for a long time that you didn't like me. You liked Hisashi more, didn't you?"
"..." I bit my lips and nodded, not desiring to answer, but more so... not desiring to utter any more lies. I liked Hisashi more... but I choose to go out with Takashi-kun because he was closer to Brand. I thought that would make him more jealous.
Once again, the behaviour of a shameless slut... my mother would be so disappointed.
"I'm really sorry..." I really had no other words to say other than apologising, aware that there is nothing to change, everything is already done... I'm going out with Brand, Takashi-kun is by himself and Hisashi is dead.
"I was surprised that you choose me instead of him. The truth is I wanted to confess to you a long time ago, but... I could not do it".
"Idiot, you should have done it... I had been waiting" I cleaned my tears, for years I waited for a confession that never came. Perhaps... I should have just confessed myself... things would be so much different.
"Sorry" He actually apologised.
"It is me that's sorry..." I apologised again.
"..."
"..."
We both remained silent and looked at the bright moon above us that all of the sudden got covered by a dark cloud.
"I hope we can stay as friends, Takashi-kun..."
"Not a problem. I don't resent you or Brand. Actually, I need your help with something..."
"Huh?" I turned to him, curious about what he was going to ask me.
"Help me up... with... Mikoto-chan".
For a moment I was stunned before my lips took on a dubious shape, "Hoh?~"
I noticed them become quite close, even from the moment we fled the gas station, inside the car, they were quick to get acquainted.
"It is not that I like her or anything, it is just... her situation is quite rare and sometimes I don't know how to handle her without being pushy".
This is Takashi-kun. Honest, clumsy... he has several aspects that I like, but also several aspects that I hate. Just like Hisashi did, just like Brand does. I hope... I hope Mikoto-chan can enter his heart.
"Hehe~ don't worry, I will help you... just give her some time, she went through something horrible".
"H-Hmn".
"I hope it works out for you".
"You too Rei, good luck... you have a lot of competition" He smirked and leaned on the window.
"U-Uhg, don't even tell me" I did the same, irritated at the increasing number of girlfriends that my boyfriend had. The least reassuring thing was that I was the latest to get accepted, so the one that could complain the least was precisely me.
We both chatted under the muffled light of the moon that eventually turned into a drizzling rain. Like friends; as we used to do back in kindergarten and then primary school.
I will have to thank Saeko later... I didn't know apologising felt this good and liberating.
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