Chương 13: The Flaw in Madness
The cool evening air kissed the heat of Tiel's naked back, emitting a thin white mist slowly blown by a gentle breeze from the open window. The moonlight poured in, pale and fluid, spreading across the floor like a silken veil.
It was calm, almost haunting, softening the edges of the furniture and turning the space into a quiet sanctuary, where shadows played and time seemed to pause beneath its glow, isolating the increased urgency at the center of it all.
At that moment, Tiel turned from his partner and looked up at the velvet canopy drapery above him.
He let out a slow, shuddering breath, his body unwinding like a thread pulled too tight. It had been intense, but the warmth faded quickly, leaving only the dull ache of absence as if the brief pleasure had dissolved into the quiet, hollow space of afterglow.
He closed his eyes, trying to remember when it had started to take over—the hollow emptiness in his chest.
Wondering how someone like him, who was human, who was supposed to feel, could be so void of emotion.
Remembering everything that had happened to him and all that he had done, knowing well in theory he was supposed to feel sadness, disappointment, abandonment, and then guilt, shame, and disgust.
But instead, he felt nothing. And it had eaten him alive. Because among all of that, neither could he feel joy, happiness, or satisfaction—everything that was supposed to bring him meaning in life.
Tiel realized he might as well be dead.
"That was amazing," a woman's voice whispered in his ear, her arm stretched across his chest. Asti Mailin rested her head on his shoulder, her eyes starting to fall shut.
Tiel opened his mouth to speak, but the realization that his sweet words would be empty stopped him.
When had he started to become even too tired to speak?
"Tiel, what happened to you?" Asti asked, looking up at him from under the thickness of her lashes. Her beautiful purple eyes held the light of the moon.
"What do you mean?" Tiel asked, knowing well what she meant but having no answer. Asti then leaned on one elbow so that she was facing him, their faces close.
"It's just... you've been drifting away… not just from me, but from the world. It's like you've locked yourself in a box and no one can reach you," she explained, putting a hand on his face.
Tiel looked into her eyes, trying to feel the love in her voice, in her company, in her words, and all the memories they shared. But no matter how much he tried, there was only emptiness.
He was dead inside. And it was such a tragic thing because for what it's worth, Tiel had truly cared for Asti. He cared for her, and when he felt he could not control himself, he had never struck her. Not once.
"Don't worry about me. I've been… too busy," Tiel pushed himself up, then went to pour himself a golden liquid, ignoring his nakedness.
"Maybe we can go on a vacation? Somewhere you want to go?"
"I've been everywhere I wanted to go," Tiel answered with a tired tone. Even if the earth cracked open and produced a paradise, there wouldn't be any excitement inside of him.
"What about… I make you something to eat? Hmm? What would you like? I haven't made you that chicken porridge in a really long time," Asti said, her voice tempting. But it did not reach him.
"I'm not hungry."
"You have to snap out of it, baby! It's like I'm dating a wall!" Asti cried, scrambling off the bed as if he had told her horrible news. Her long, dark violet hair draped over her smooth, naked shoulders, covering the tender roundness of her chest.
There was a time when this image would awaken something in him, but now, as he looked at her, he felt nothing.
"It's that girl, isn't it?" Asti demanded, taking his attention.
"That girl?"
"That Everhart Sugar girl. What's her name?" Asti asked, looking away as she tried to recall. Tiel sighed.
"Celeste?"
"Yes! Celeste! You've been more distant than necessary ever since you got engaged to that girl! What is it? Is she so beautiful that you can't stop thinking of her?" Asti demanded. Her angry purple eyes looked adorable, and her pursed lips were inviting.
Tiel smiled. "Don't you worry about her. She's not worth your thoughts," he said, pulling her close with one arm. The image of the mute girl flashed at the back of his mind, and it caught him off guard. A cold emptiness had swallowed him, but the unexpected memory tightened his chest, a flicker of something alive and painfully real stirring in the void.
"A-are you alright?" Asti asked.
"What? Why?" He asked, setting his glass down. He needed a cig.
"You look like you've seen a ghost," Asti said, watching him as he reached into the drawer of his work desk. Tiel hated smoking—the smell and how it made his chest tight were annoying. But he enjoyed the release it offered him.
"You never smoke," Asti squeaked. Tiel didn't reply.
He threw on his bathrobe and opened the double doors of his balcony, standing under the changing sky. He had not slept a wink last night, but he felt his heart was alive.
Behind him, Asti held his phone up, shamelessly naked. "Your father is calling you."
Tiel looked back in a snap, his feet and hands moving faster than his brain.
"Hello, Father," Tiel answered his calm voice in contrast to his feelings. It was never good when Erickson called at this time of the day.
"Your bride has escaped," he said in a low tone. Tiel felt a chill run down his back. His gaze fell, as if Erickson was standing in front of him, staring intently at him.
"When?"
"Last night. I've called your brother. He will find her. You will keep her."
"Of course, Father. I won't—" The line ended. Tiel looked at the blackened screen, then looked out as the first light of dawn began to spread on the horizon. His lips tightened into a thin line. The foolish girl couldn't handle a little squeeze.
Tiel had wondered how much Celeste knew about him and his family—who they were, what they were capable of—and now he had the answer.
She knows nothing.
"What is it?" Asti asked, now with a bathrobe covering her nakedness.
Tiel shrugged. "Celeste ran away," he said.
"What?" Asti asked, her eyes widening. "Why? She was going to be the luckiest girl alive," she said, disappointed at the other girl's decision. Tiel kissed her forehead.
"You know I would never hurt you," Tiel said, reminding her how special she was. Asti was the only person he had never struck—the only reason he could still say to himself that he was not a complete monster. That when he unleashed all his darkness into the world, there was a glimmer of good that offered him hope. There was redemption. And that was her—Asti Mailin.
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