Chương 45: Chapter 45: Maybe

Mitchelle/Sunny’s POV

We watched as the nurse patched up Bree’s wounds and bruises. Then she lets her lie flat on the bed.

Bree is cocooned by the white sheets. Her head cushioned on the same white pillows.

“You need to rest. I’ll be giving you pain meds when you go home later and tell you what to do with those.” The nurse advised the student.

“One may look after her or you may go if you have class, I could write you a late pass." The nurse directed to us. "She’s going to be fine, all her injuries are external though it may leave some marks and blackening on her skin but those will disappear over time. I’ll be in my office if you need anything.” Then she exits the room after we thanked her.

The three of us stayed silent even when the nurse was gone.

Before it could turn more awkward than it should, Breana spoke. “Alex, you both should go. I’ll be fine. Thank you for saving me there.”

Then she turned to me. “Thank you for helping us, Sunny. I’ll be okay. I just need to rest.”

“Are you sure?” I look into her eyes. Pain swims in the brown seas of her glassy orbs. We know she’s not fine. Most wounds, especially deep ones are not always visible outside. Despite knowing it, I also know I’m not the one who could take that pain away. I also wonder who.

Still, she hummed back to me. She smiles slightly as if to prove her point. I slowly got closer to her and gave her hand a gentle squeeze, and a reassuring smile. “Take care, Bree. Keep in mind I’m always here to talk to if you needed someone.”

The gesture was slow enough to give Alex the time to decide if she’ll talk to me. I think even Bree is urging her to but it will be Alex’ decision.

I turned my back on Bree to exit. I walked slowly. I even purposely shorten my gait as I passed by Alex and reached the door. I held on the knob before turning it. Nothing, I slowly closed the door when I was fully out of the room. I didn’t hear a thing.

I didn’t know when did it start hurting but it does. I gave her too many chances. I could only egg her on but not force her to open up.

I leaned on the door for support as I close my eyes.

It hurts knowing that she’s not even trying to make me understand her.

It hurts that she’s avoiding me when I’m missing her.

It hurts that she doesn’t look like she wants to mend things between us.

I took a step away and another. And another. Despite every time I do, my heart tells me not to. I realize…

Maybe it hurts this much because I already love you Alex.

That every day and night I tell myself it is just weird and impossible…every time I force myself into thinking all I’m feeling for you is platonic, it just makes me think about you more in way that’s far from one would call as that.

Every time I try to question my sexuality, I also and always counter the thought with the fact that I had a relationship with a man, Jackson.

Yet, why do I feel more regret and pain in the thought of losing you than when I did lose him?

That’s why.

Maybe I DO.

I DO LOVE YOU, Alex.

The door behind me opens.

“Mitchelle.”

I stopped in my tracks.

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P.S. Im back! With a banger! Apologies, I haven't been feeling well lately.

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