Chương 27: 27
EMILY'S POV.
I stared at Katie for a while, who looked like she had a thousand things on her mind. Could she be feeling guilty about sleeping with John? Thinking about it, she had been really shocked when I caught her sleeping with John.
She looked at me with fear afterward. Had she been masking her remorse and guilt? Because she was nothing like Mandy. She was more laid back, and calm, and didn't look like she liked much trouble.
Had John forced her to sleep with him? Did he prey on her, and threaten her with something else? No, she seemed quite close with John. She and Mandy called him by his name, and John said he trusted his secretary more than he trusted me.
She looked away from the window, and accidentally spotted me staring. She blinked once, and got to her feet.
Her head lowered in a little bow, and she gracefully walked away in her black shirt, and fitted white skirt.
"What are you thinking? It doesn't change the fact that John cheated on you with her, and she sounded like she was enjoying it." I said to myself, hotly, and walked away.
Who knew how long they had been sleeping with each other? Who knew if it had continued even after John had broken my heart?
"Just stop thinking." I said to myself, and marched to John's study, where I dropped the laptop on his desk.
I looked around, and saw myself in that same study through the eye of memories. Back in his old house, John's study looked just like his current one. The books, the shelves, the paint— even though it wasn't the same house, or the same room, I could see myself and John talking late into the night, kissing, reading, writing essays, preparing for exams…
The night I officially started my fashion designing business, we celebrated with champagne, and tons of books on fashion.
I decided to leave before anyone could see me standing there, and looking around. If it was Mandy, she could think I was trying to steal something, or attempt to frame me for something else.
If it was Katie, she could think I was unable to get over John— but the space in my heart for John had already closed up, and tight. It was unlikely anyone else could creep in.
All that was left was just the hurt from the wasted years I had invested into him.
"Here." I heard, and turned sharply. Katie was standing there, extending a paper to me.
I hadn't even noticed her walking in.
"He says not to bother writing the forty thousand word count because he didn't need it. Here's your new task." She explained, placing it into my hands, and I tried my best not to curl my fingers over the paper, and squeeze it.
Instead, I bit my lip, and nodded, walking away. He hadn't needed that extreme word count, but he had still given it to me just to torture me.
I went to my little cramped office where more documents to sort had been given to me, and I groaned.
He wanted me to sort files again.
Once more, I carried the enormous documents, and files to the dining room, and began to sort them into folders.
"We can finish this." I said to myself, and evening met me in my arrangement of files. I was faster than I was the first time I had to sort files, and even though it was a lot of work, I managed to finish it.
I stared at my work proudly— A bunch of smooth documents placed in neatly arranged files.
With a sigh, I stretched my sore limbs, and placed my hand on my forehead. Signs of overworking were already telling on me.
I needed food fast. I hadn't eaten all day, and it was bad for my health.
I went to the fridge to get something to eat, and drink, but discovered it was locked.
There was a maid washing the dishes, and I turned to her.
"Did you lock this?"
"No. Miss Mandy asked us to take all we need, and locked it." She replied, looking sorry.
"Does John know?" I asked, and she gave a little sigh, looking even sorrier.
"She gave him the key." She replied, and I nodded slowly, biting my lip. My tummy clawed within. I hadn't eaten all day, and I was finally acknowledging my hunger, but it was locked?
It was way too childish of John… way too childish.
I turned away, and packed all my folders. On the wall of the dining room, there was a model in a beautiful blue satin evening dress, with an arm made of blue feathers.
There was a slit running from her hip to her toe. It was the kind of dress I had always wished to design. Drawing designs had always made me happy. Whenever I drew, all my worries flew away. I looked at my hands, which were occupied with folders, the height of which were shielding my nose and lips, and wondered if they still recalled how to draw.
It had been so long since I drew, and it made me feel choked up. I had no time for myself, no time to do the things I wished to do. I was always… I was always stuck with John's jobs.
Thinking of the money I had saved up for years, wasted on a laptop John could have bought with ease, felt even more unfair; I couldn't deny it hurt to let that money go.
"I'm fine." I said, closing my eyes. "Very soon, I'll draw again." I told myself. "I'm fine. The darkest hour is just before dawn. Just three years… three years, and we'll be done."
My arms and back ached sore, and it felt like I'd just fall, and be unable to rise.
"Ma'am." A maid called, and I turned.
"Alpha John says you have five minutes left to finish up." She said, apologetically, and held her fingers.
I fished out a bright smile, and gave it to her.
"I'm done already." I replied, and made my way away from the dining.
"Where's he?" I asked.
"In the study in the living room." She replied, and I went down the three-step staircase, into the wide living room with its plush cream sofas, and center table.
I went further towards the door leading to the hallway.
In front of it was a room with half glass walls, making almost everything inside visible.
John was sitting on a chair inside.
"Ma'am." A maid called, and I turned to see her on the last stair leading to the dining room.
She was holding a folder.
I turned back immediately, walking swiftly to meet her. She handed me the folder, and I carefully placed it on top of the other folders.
I began to walk back the way I had come with a smile on my face, trying to bring the perfectly undisturbed face to John.
Unfortunately, I happened to raise the rug at the center of the room, with my foot, and tripped on it.
My eyes widened, and a scream got stuck in my throat, as the folders flew into the air, opening wide, and papers and documents burst out free.
They had been too much, too tall for me to handle, and had fallen helplessly.
I landed hard on the floor, and let out a sharp gasp of pain, as it felt like my wrist was going to twist.
Papers fell around me like snow, and I watched my work of a day scattered on the ground, reaching out in far distances.
The maids all rushed to me to try to pack it up, but it was useless. My work had been wasted. All the effort!
It felt like a volcano about to erupt in me, something hard and strong came from the pit of my stomach, rising to my throat quickly.
It was hot and painful, and this time, when my eyes burned hot, I knew I couldn't control it. No, I'd be unable to hold it back.
My eyebrows crinkled, and I tried to close my mouth, but I couldn't help it, it was impossible.
I shuddered violently, staring at the maids, and their hands as they tried hastily to help me pick up the papers.
My face squeezed up, and my eyes watered up hotly, blurring my vision.
Everything seemed to sink in, and weigh down on me. It felt like I was being compressed by something heavy. Then I realized I had not known how pained I was by everything.
John cheating, me having to stop loving him unexpectedly when loving him was all I wanted, him treating me like trash, him sleeping with other people…
Him giving me so much work, him saying he never felt anything special when he was with me.
Everything seemed to form one big ball that got stuck in my throat and chest.
Then the tears rolled down, followed by cries tearing out of my lips.
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