Chương 285: 41
Chapter 41: before it has begun, we've already wonNotes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"Are you sure you have everything?" Kushina asks for the umpteenth time, levelling Naruto with a serious frown. "You didn't forget to pack extra underwear this time, right? What about your toothbrush? Did you remember to take a pair of socks just in case? Amegakure is colder than Land of Fire, you know. Wouldn't want you to fall sick just because you forgot socks."
From the genkan, Sasuke snorts and poorly smothers his snickers behind a cough. Sakura elbows him harshly, but her lips are twitching too.
Naruto groans and struggles into his sandals double time. The faster he gets ready to leave, the sooner the embarrassment will end. "I have everything, mom," he assures, scowling as he yanks at the sandal harshly. "I'm not a baby anymore."
Kushina sighs, hand at her cheek as she watches him run a final check of his belongings. "No, I suppose you aren't," she agrees softly, stepping up to gently swipe some leftover crumbs off his cheek and straighten out the collar of his haori. "When did you get so big, hmm?" she asks, grinning as she pinches his cheek.
"Mom," Naruto whines, going limp when Kushina manhandles him into a bone-crushing hug. "We're gonna be late."
"Oh, alright, alright." With a final kiss to the cheek, she reluctantly releases him from her clutches and turns to address the pair of genin waiting at her door. "Now, you kids be good and look after each other, alright? Don't let any of the other genin push you around. Ace these exams and show them who's boss!"
"We will, Kushina-san," Sakura promises, beaming.
Sasuke nods his own agreement, eyes gleaming in anticipation.
Naruto grins, hopping off the genkan and bouncing to the door, hitai-ate secured to his forehead and backpack thumping against his back. "That goes without saying. Team 7 is the best after all!" He adds a final wave over his shoulder, already halfway out the door. "We'll be off now!"
"Good luck!"
Sakura giggles as soon as the door closes behind them, clasping her hands behind her back. "Your mom seems cheerful as ever, Naruto," she notes.
"She said she'd make ramen when I get back," Naruto informs smugly, all but skipping down the road.
"Kushina-san's ramen is really good," Sakura says thoughtfully. "My dad said he'd treat me to katsudon if we pass."
"Which we obviously will," Sasuke states, sniffing imperiously.
Nodding enthusiastically, Naruto agrees, "Obviously! We trained our butts off for this. When we come back, we're totally gonna be chuunin!"
"Yeah!" Sakura pumps her fist in the air. "I can't wait till we get our vests."
"I can't wait till we don't have to do D-ranks anymore," Sasuke mutters, shuddering at just the mention.
Naruto makes a face and fights off a shiver off his own. "I still can't believe Kakashi-nii had us set that stupid record."
It is a particularly sore spot for the three genin and their mood takes a predictable dip at the mention, a shroud of grimness settling over them that is unusual for most twelve-year-olds. To be fair, those other twelve-year-olds probably never got tricked by their jounin sensei into breaking the village record for most D-ranks completed by a genin cell.
Incidentally, Kakashi himself had been the holder of the previous record, though it doesn't seem like his students appreciate his passing down of this particular torch.
"Sensei really is a demon," Sakura grimaces, green eyes shadowed.
"Maybe we should try luring him to the big shrine for an exorcism again," Sasuke suggests. "The priest told me he sensed weird spiritual energy from Kakashi-sensei last time."
Naruto whistles. "I've always known Kakashi-nii is kind of weird, but to think it might be something supernatural."
"Well, boys, I think we know the first mission we'll take as chuunin," Sakura announces grandly.
Exchanging devious smiles, Team 7 marches onward.
"Stop sending your damn brother to my village," Yondaime Raikage A says as soon as the Kage of all the gathered shinobi villages have been escorted to a more private setting, crossing his arms and looking openly disgruntled. "He's a bad influence on B."
The only people who look bewildered are the various Kage escorts and guards. The Kage themselves only look vaguely amused or sympathetic. After all, they have all come in contact with Raijin at some point or the other since Minato's brother took up an ambassador position for Konoha.
Minato, for his part, is unbothered as he sips at his tea. "Is that so?"
A scowls. "Send someone else if you have to."
Shrugging, Minato makes a noncommittal sound. "Raijin is the best person for the job." No one else has quite as much talent for bullying powerful and stubborn shinobi into maintaining peaceful relations. Besides, Raijin was personally involved in negotiating a lot of their village's newest peace treaties—his knowledge on the village leaders' temperament, strengths and weaknesses is pretty indispensable in knowing how to appeal to them.
"Oh my, Namikaze," Yondaime Mizukage Karatachi Yagura grins, "is this nepotism at play?"
"Of course," Minato drawls dryly. "In fact, I intend on making my twelve-year-old son the Hokage as soon as we get back to Konohagakure."
Kazekage Rasa, who has met Naruto, snorts and closely avoids choking on a laugh. "Shall I retire and let Gaara take the mantle as well? They'd have a peer at the Summit at least."
"Not like not having a peer has stopped some people," Yagura comments, glancing narrowly at Tsuchikage Onoki—the only village leader here who belongs to the previous generation of Kage—before aiming a disingenuous smile at the old man who glares at him immediately. "Is retirement just not a concept you have ever been introduced to, Onoki-san?"
Onoki huffs and looks about five seconds away from blowing his fuse. "Just you wait, boy!" he snaps. "I'm going to outlive you and be at your funeral, and then we will see who's laughing."
"My mother always did say that weeds are tougher to kill," Yagura muses thoughtfully, unbothered and unrepentant. "Even the Pure Lands don't want you."
Onoki lets out a wordless screech that clearly fascinates the Mizukage because Yagura only doubles down on needling the elder shinobi even further.
At Minato's side, Obito looks openly baffled. "Is it always like this?" he asks, leaning over to whisper to Minato.
Kakashi is a lot less subtle as he surveys the squabble with distaste apparent in his body language. "They're worse than Academy brats."
Minato chuckles, shrugging helplessly at Obito. "The Yondaime Mizukage has a…unique temperament."
"He's a sadistic bastard," Rasa supplies calmly, having overheard the interaction from his seat beside Minato's. "Thankfully, there's no one else quite like him."
Although judging from the open intrigue on the face of the redhead kunoichi who is rumoured to be Yagura's apprentice and successor, there is still time for Yagura to raise someone into following his footsteps as a menace to society.
"Well, you have to learn to deal with all sorts of people if you want the job," Minato says diplomatically. "Think of this as a precursor."
Obito does not look particularly reassured though he leans back to resume his position at Minato's back.
Before anything else can be said or a proper fight can break out, the doors to the lounge open once more to admit Hanzo of the Salamander and the three young leaders of the Akatsuki.
"The first round of the exam has begun," Konan informs. "We'll announce the second round after and then break for lunch."
"What have you chosen to do for the second round?" A inquires, peering over at the leaders of Amegakure.
"Ordinarily, we'd reveal it to you ahead of time, but," Nagato glances at Rasa and Minato, "considering certain participants this year, you'll just have to wait and see."
Looking distinctly unsatisfied with this, A crosses his massive arms and frowns. "I don't see why all of us must be kept in the dark just because the Kazekage and Hokage's children are involved this year," he grumbles.
"Because then the rest of you would throw a fit about us being unfair and it'd be a headache to deal with all of that," Yahiko supplies plainly, rolling his eyes. Konan plants her elbow in his ribs and effectively knocks the breath out of her teammate without batting an eye while Nagato poorly disguises his snort behind a cough.
Yagura pouts. "Their kids might not even make it to the second round of the exams, and then we will have waited for nothing."
Rasa furrows his brows. "They will make it," he states.
Considering that all three of the man's children have entered as one team, it's no surprise for him to claim as much. Minato can relate if only because he doesn't want to think about how Team 7 might let out their steam after failing. Naruto and his friends are a delightful little band of absolute terrors. Minato had been right when he'd feared the birth of the current generation of genin all those years ago; as much as he likes all the kids and their endless potential, they absolutely are a thorn in his side.
"It's only a few more hours until we find out anyways," the Hokage offers, braving a placating smile. Truly, every gathering of the Kage is a trying of his patience unlike any other. "I'm sure we can all find something to occupy ourselves with until then."
On principle, A scowls. "You are suggesting we waste time?"
"Do you have any other ideas?" Minato asks patiently.
The Raikage scowls harder but remains silent. Minato smiles back sweetly. Onoki hides a snort behind a sip of his tea.
Yagura drums his fingers on the table and inclines his head, pink eyes drifting over to fix themselves on Minato, who absolutely does not still in the hopes that the man will look away and not bother him. Now that the Kage have met up and worked together enough to discard formalities in private, Minato has learned that a bored Yagura is a dangerous one.
"Say, Namikaze-san," Yagura begins, mouth twitching up into a mischievous smile, "if A-san can't appreciate your brother's services, Kiri is always happy to host him, you know."
Minato blinks slowly. "I, uh, see. Thank you for the offer."
Yagura quirks his head. "Of course," he says brightly. "I'm just looking out for my subordinates. Utakata-kun really seems to miss Raijin-san."
Standing behind the Mizukage, Terumi Mei snorts hard and claps a hand over her face to smother the laugh.
"What the fuck?" Obito whispers into the ensuing silence.
The sentiment resonates hard with Minato who stares at Yagura almost helplessly. "I'll…keep that in mind when it's time for Raijin's next assignment."
"You do that."
At least A finally looks like he isn't completely miserable as he peers between the two young Kage.
Kakashi, similarly, is distantly amused as he says, "It's like a dark comedy of some sort."
"It's not funny," Obito hisses back at his husband.
"I mean, it's kind of funny," Kakashi argues.
Completely unprompted, Hanzo inserts himself into the conversation to declare, "Raijin is a fine shinobi. He has lived up well to the title I bestowed upon him."
Onoki's eyes narrow. "That was you?"
"Indeed. I'd like to spar with him again."
Obito whispers, horrified, "Oh my god."
Minato, bravely, does not cry. His brother created this mess; he can be the one to deal with it when he shows up.
"We're going to be in so much trouble," Ino groans, leaning back in one of the hard chairs the police herded them into.
Shikamaru squints at his teammate. "This was your idea."
Sinking into the seat, Ino grumbles, "Well, I didn't think we'd actually get caught."
Chouji sighs and kicks his feet. "At least the house wasn't actually haunted."
Sakura scoffs and crosses her arms. "That just makes it worse," she declares. "That means we did all this for nothing."
"Not nothing," Sasuke points out logically. "Apparently we did successfully aid and abet a robbery."
"And we did it in another country while we were with the Hokage's son," Shikamaru adds dryly.
Naruto gasps, horrified. "Stop saying it that way," he demands. "My mom's going to kill me if she finds out I caused another international incident."
Chouji's eyebrows rise as he peers over at the blond. "Another international incident."
Groaning, Naruto covers his face with his hands and shakes his head. "Don't ask."
"It was in Suna," Sasuke supplies helpfully. "We've been banned from the Kazekage tower for the next twenty-five years."
Ino frowns. "Wait, Naruto, how are you going to be Hokage if you're banned from visiting the Kazekage's head office?"
"It's only twenty-five years," Naruto grumbles, pouting. "Obito-nii's going to get the hat before me anyways. The ban will be lifted by then."
"Provided you don't make it worse until that happens," Shikamaru says reasonably.
"I won't!" Naruto insists, whining.
"Guys!" Sakura snaps, bringing them to attention. "Can we focus on the part where we're still stuck in an interrogation room in another country because, apparently, we accidentally helped a bunch of thieves get away from the house they broke into and robbed."
Sasuke quietly adds, "A house that we also technically forced entry into."
Ino huffs. "The lock on the door was literally open."
"Because the thieves picked the lock." Chouji blinks. "The thieves whose cart we helped load stolen goods into."
With a quiet thump, Naruto drops his head onto the table they're all piled behind. "They're never going to let us become chuunin after this."
"We didn't know they were thieves," Sakura consoles, patting his back. "We thought we were helping the owners move."
Shikamaru hums. "No, I knew they were thieves."
Chouji lifts an eyebrow at his friend. "Then why didn't you say anything?"
With a shrug, the reply comes, "I couldn't be bothered. Besides, I wanted to see how things would go."
Waving a hand impatiently, Ino says, "Well, we already knew Shikamaru is morally bankrupt. The question is what are we going to do now?"
"The age of majority is fifteen in Amegakure," Sasuke says. "They'll ask us to bring in a guardian even though we're genin and technically adults in the eyes of Konoha's law."
"I'm going to have to tell my dad?" Naruto gapes. "I'm totally fucked! He can't hide anything from my mom."
Sasuke tilts his head. "Well, if they treated us like adults, they'd probably keep us in lockup until they found evidence to prove our innocence."
"Yeah, but then my mom wouldn't find out and whoop my ass to kingdom come."
Sakura inserts, "But we'd miss the second round and then I'd whoop your ass to kingdom come."
Naruto yelps, "This wasn't even my idea!"
"Exactly," Ino chimes in with feeling. "It's Kiba's fault for convincing us to convince you guys and then ditching like the cowardly loser he is."
Chouji leans over to whisper to Shikamaru, "Didn't Neji catch Kiba trying to sneak out and threaten to tell Tsume-dono?"
Shikamaru nods. "Even Kiba has enough self-preservation to avoid that."
"Who are we going to call to come get us?" Sasuke interrupts calmly. "None of our parents are here except Naruto's and Chouji's fathers."
The group exchange troubled glances.
"Our sensei should count," Shikamaru points out.
Naruto huffs and shakes his head. "It can't be Kakashi-nii. He's a snitch. Plus he gets really weird about favours for some reason."
"Asuma-sensei would tell Kurenai-sensei and she'd tell Anko," Ino puts forward, looking perturbed.
Chouji nods in solemn understanding. "Anko-san would tell everyone. She'd find it funny."
"What about your dad then, Chouji?" Sakura asks, biting her lip anxiously. "He's pretty nice."
Shikamaru snorts. "Yeah, but he'd tell our old men and if my mom finds out, she'd put me to sleep permanently."
Ino makes a noise of frustration and drops her head against the back of her chair. "This is impossible."
For a moment, it seems as though all hope is lost for the group of genin.
And then, Naruto is perking up, face brightening. "I know who we could call!"
"—and then he was like, 'Wait, but why are your hands purple?' and obviously I couldn't tell him because I'd lied earlier to get out of having to take his grandma to the clinic. Now normally, I'd agree to that kind of thing because I'm a nice guy, you know, and I have nothing against old people, but like, when I tell you that old lady is evil incarnate and should just hurry up and—"
Raijin doesn't seem to realise or care that he has lost his audience somewhere in the past ten minutes of his nonstop recounting of his trip from the Land of Iron to Ame, but the police officers are both gaping and looking kind of close to tearing their own hair out at this point.
Naruto, who had gambled on this very outcome, leans back in his chair smugly. Sakura is looking similarly victorious while Team 10 looks vaguely impressed by Naruto's uncle's sheer capacity to keep speaking regardless of whether anyone is listening or not. At least Sasuke seems to be actually invested in whatever story Raijin is telling judging by the focused look on his face.
"You know what," one of the police officers interrupts, wearing an air of defeat, "you can have them. Just—just take them and go. Please."
"Oh." Raijin blinks. "Of course. Thank you very much for your cooperation." He turns to the genin and grins, winking. "Ready to go, kids?"
Springing out of his chair, Naruto flings his arms around his uncle's neck and presses a kiss to his cheek, cheering, "Rai-ji-chan, you're the absolute best!"
"Thank you for coming to get us, Raijin-san," Sakura chirps, bouncing on her toes.
"We owe you one," Shikamaru drawls, lazily stretching until his back clicks.
Raijin hums, scrubbing a hand through Naruto's hair fondly before turning to address Shikamaru. "Run interference for me next time your dad tries to con me into a game of shogi and we'll call it even."
Hiding a smile, Shikamaru nods. "Deal."
"We'd be happy to offer you a free meal at one of my family's restaurants," Chouji offers shyly.
Hooking an arm around the Akimichi's shoulders, Ino leans forwards and adds, "And a complimentary flower arrangement done by yours truly!"
Eyebrows rising, Raijin regards all of them with amusement as he rises to his feet, easily picking Naruto up as he goes, patiently standing still while the boy scampers onto his back. "Well, I sure seem to have amassed a bunch of favours unexpectedly," he comments. "People are going to think I'm soliciting free things from a bunch of genin. My reputation will be ruined at this rate."
"We'll just have to make chuunin so it doesn't become a problem," Sasuke says simply, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
Raijin looks impressed. "Very cool of you, Sasuke-kun," he says, kindly refraining from laughing when Sasuke visibly flushes at the praise. "You're right though. For my sake, you're all going to have to pass the exam now."
Shikamaru scoffs and looks away, mumbling, "What a pain." He promptly gets whacked by Ino for it.
Sakura, on the other hand, nods sincerely, face screwed up with determination. "You can count on us, Raijin-san!"
Smiling fondly, Raijin pats her head. "I know I can, Sakura-chan."
From the way Sakura perks up at that, one would think Raijin promised her his entire life savings instead.
Naruto observes this curiously as he props his chin on Raijin's shoulders and wraps his arms around his uncle's shoulders. "It's like you're everyone's uncle and not just mine," he notes.
Raijin hums, letting the other genin scamper out ahead of them as they troop out of the police station and out into the open night air. "Does that bother you?" he asks.
"No," Naruto says after a moment of thought. "It's nice that they all like you so much. Weird; but nice."
When Raijin laughs, his chakra goes fuzzy around the edges even as it starts to swirl in lazy circles around Naruto's. "Well, I've been around most of them since they were babies. You might not remember, but I was running a pretty successful unofficial babysitting service for a while there."
Naruto huffs out a laugh and leans his cheek against Raijin's shoulder. The man's hair is almost shoulder length now and it tickles Naruto's face where it is loosely tied back in a half-updo. "Are you going to be back in the village after the exam?"
"Why—did you miss me?"
"Yes," Naruto replies immediately, unashamed.
Raijin looks back to smile at him, nudging him with chakra streaked though with sunny affection. "I'm going to be around for a few months this time," he says, turning back ahead just in time to watch Chouji almost send Sasuke flying into a tree on accident with a pat on the back. "I'll help with some of Obito's training so nii-chan can take a little off his plate too."
"You can help with Hokage training?"
"I'm a man of many talents."
Shrugging, Naruto accepts this. "Fair enough, I guess," he mumbles.
Gently jostling him, Raijin asks, "How was the test today? Sorry I missed the start. I wanted to wish you luck before it began but I was running late."
"It was good," Naruto says around a yawn. "I thought I was going to fail because I only knew like a quarter of the questions, but they just wanted to test how willing we are to work together, and Team 7 always aces that part. No sweat."
Laughing, Raijin says, "Well, I'm glad it went well then. Are you nervous for the second round?"
Naruto hesitates. "A little," he admits softly after a moment, because this is Raijin and he has never had anything to fear when it comes to his uncle who seems to know Naruto better than he knows himself. "I don't want to fail and let anyone down."
"Oh?" Raijin prods.
Naruto shrugs, going boneless against the older shinobi. "Sakura and Sasuke are counting on me," he says. "Mom and dad too. So is everyone else in the village, I guess. Everyone in our family is so strong; I can't fall behind, you know."
For a long moment, Raijin is quiet. Then, "I didn't know you were worrying about that stuff."
"I'm not worried," Naruto protests. "I'm just—aware. Isn't that normal?"
"It is," his uncle agrees, gently patting his calf reassuringly. "Listen up though: you don't have to worry about anything anyone else might think or say."
Naruto huffs, unconvinced. "That's easy for you to say," he grumbles. "Dad says you're just as strong as he is. That's Kage level."
"I'm also a full-grown adult with over twenty years of shinobi experience under my belt," Raijin points out dryly. "There's no point in comparing yourself to me, Naruto. Or to anyone else for that matter. Other people's opinions and expectations are useless to your progress. Just focus on becoming better than the person you were the day before, and strength will follow naturally."
"You make it sound so simple," Naruto laments.
His uncle chuckles. "It is that simple. In theory anyways. Hard work is never that easy after all, but it's pretty achievable if you think about it, right? If you take it one day at a time, it's not so bad."
Pouting, the preteen challenges, "What if I fail?"
Raijin shrugs. "You can just try again later. It wouldn't be the end of the world."
Naruto slumps. "I don't want other people to think I'm not good though," he admits. "I want to be like you and mom and dad."
"Then it's a good thing we all have our own fair share of failures under our belts," Raijin says. "None of us ever succeeded on anything 100% of the time. We had to try again and take the long way around things sometimes too. It's normal. That's just how you grow." Snidely, he adds, "And if anyone tries to insinuate that you're not good enough just because you're growing up like any normal kid your age should, then you tell them they can take it up with me and we'll see if I can't set them straight. The last thing we need is some asshole filling your head with self-deprecatory nonsense."
Despite himself, Naruto giggles. "It's not nonsense," he argues half-heartedly.
"Yes, it is," Raijin insists stubbornly. "We didn't fight all these wars and work so hard to lay down the foundations of peace just for someone to want our children to grow up into soldiers so young just like we had to. Your parents and I worked every day to become this strong so we could make the world a good enough place for you to grow up in. So that you could take your time and take all the detours you wanted on your way to growing up. And then, one day, when you are all grown up and strong and ready, we'll step back and the world will be yours to do with as you see fit, and I know you're going to do a great job because you're a good kid who's trying his best to grow into a good adult. That's all that matters. What anyone else thinks is pointless."
Naruto blinks. "Oh," he says, suddenly feeling very small, like all of him has been compressed into the space his heart takes up.
"There's no need to hurry, Naruto," Raijin says kindly. "The world's not going anywhere. Just take things slow and grow up well. When the time comes, you'll figure it out."
Leaning against the man, Naruto mumbles, "Okay."
And before them, the future stretches on endlessly.
Notes:
And that's a wrap. I hope you got a feel for how things kind of ended up being in this universe with Raijin's influence bleeding into everything.
Come out of the ashes has been an absolute delight to write and I'm so honoured that I got to see this journey through with all of you. I am grateful for every single one of you who has read and bookmarked and commented. I couldn't have done it without you.
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