Chương 47: Volume 2: Tell Me Something True
Shi burst into tears and Yan started blubbering loudly.
"We didn't know not to tell her!" Shi cried out to Shan Hui miserably.
"Father and you never said!" Yan said, his face filled with righteous indignation.
Yan and Shi felt really wronged. They'd always been good boys! They'd never made their Mother cry like that, but their Father and Shan Hui liked to bicker and hide things which obviously made her angry. Now look how it'd turned out? They'd gotten lumped in with the two idiots of the family!
Shan Hui knew he'd messed up, so he didn't bother defending himself. He was aware that the one miscarriage his Mother knew about, had really upset her. Dragging down his Old Man had ended up with his name dragged in the mud too. He'd been stupid and he knew it.
"Ye," Shan Hui turned the little fairy. "Go to the Old Man. Tell him what happened."
"Why don't you?!" Ye glared at him furiously, hopping between the twins trying to comfort them as they wailed. "I'll apologize for my own part in this, but I'm not helping you two. Go fix your own problems, and maybe learn from them while you're at it!"
Shan Hui's face went black at Ye's disobedience. Seeing the young man's threatening aura, Ye gave a short laugh.
"That Old Man of yours could never boss me around, so don't think you can either. Go lower your head and admit to Jin you made a mistake. Then you two figure out how to make things right. Or do you love your pride more than your own Mother?"
This accusation hit Shan Hui hard, for it was accurate. He absolutely did not want to admit anything to his Old Man. And now he couldn't send one of the servant fairies, or even his nanny fairies, to go get his Father. It would be proof that his pride was bigger than his love for his Mother. And that, ironically, was something his pride couldn't tolerate.
After walking in a tight circle thinking about it, he finally gave an angry snort and left. In one giant leap he was out of the Palace. In another leap, he was with the caravan, searching for his Father.
The Old Man was with a Merchant who had neatly stacked exotic animals in small cages tied to his back. Oblivious to the the drama brewing at home, the Old Man was laughing and having a good time. Shan Hui was tempted to punch him.
Unfortunately, his fighting intent tipped Jin off, for he spun around and jumped backwards in alarm. This startled the Merchants, who couldn't sense anything was off.
"Old Ma— Father!" Shan Hui corrected himself. This wasn't the time for the usual antagonism.
Jin was somewhere between suspicious and alarmed. He couldn't remember the last time Shan Hui had referred to him as anything but "Old Man".
Running over, he pulled his Father a distance from the Merchants. The last thing he needed was them eavesdropping!
"Listen, Mother—"
"What happened to Mei!?" Jin immediately reached out for her in fear. Sensing her unharmed, he relaxed.
Seeing the Old Man tense and then relax, he knew Mother's location had been found already.
"She's… she's very, very, very upset with you right now. And maybe me."
Jin blinked. How could she get mad at him when he wasn't even home?!
"What did you say…?" He asked, rightfully suspicious at his eldest' behavior.
Shan Hui looked down and didn't meet Jin's eyes. This actually scared Jin a bit. This son of his was always outrageously bold and would stare down anyone at any time without any sense or propriety. Seeing him this meek was unsettling.
"…you… what did you say…?" He asked again.
Without looking up, Shan Hui mumbled out the entire thing. When he was finished, Jin could only sigh and pat his bratty son on the shoulder.
"…aren't you angry?" Shan Hui asked a bit puzzled by the paternal show of affection.
"This is a problem between your parents. You…" He sighed. "…you were just a child caught up in your Father's foolishness."
Shan Hui eyes became as round as the moon.
"What? This old man of yours isn't as stupid or immature as you seem to think. I will go talk to your Mother and make things right. Wait for us to return home." Saying that, he ruffled his eldest son's hair and left in a single leap.
Shan Hui stood there, a strange feeling rising in his chest. It took him a few minutes to figure out what it was…
Ah yes…
Respect.
———
Mei Hua was in the devastated Blue Flower Village, sitting near the fountain with the mostly intact deer statue. The fountain came from a natural spring underneath, which still gently bubbled up water. A small stream now flowed out of it and through the destroyed Village.
She'd sobbed for a long time, for how long she wasn't sure. Her face was slightly sticky from the salt left over and she knew she must look awful. No one had come for her, for which she was thankful. It wasn't pleasant to be found looking and feeling that ugly.
It'd been a long time since she'd been that angry. At first she'd thought to find Jin and beat him, but as she'd been heading in that direction to do just that, her temper had time to cool. As it did, her heart wavered. Rather than angry, she was left feeling terribly and deeply disappointed. That was far worse than being angry and the shame she felt toward her own husband made her not want to even look at him. In the end she'd detoured to the Village to give herself a chance to vent and clear her mind.
This wasn't the first time she'd come to the Village by herself. Ever since her children had found it and shown her how to get to it, she'd come many times on her own. Something about this place felt strangely nostalgic. She could almost remember the faces of her long deceased family when she visited: loving grandparents, cheerful mother, a strict but kind father…
She couldn't explain why it had that effect on her, it's not like she'd been born on the mountain. Yet it did anyway. And being amongst the ruins gave her an odd kind of comfort. Even just sitting in the place all by herself right then helped calm her.
Her heart settled as the tears stopped and she could think clearly again. She used the fountain water to wash the worst of the mess off her face and sat back down heavily.
A rustle behind her told her that she was not alone. She could instantly tell by the steps it was Jin and didn't bother to turn around. His shadow fell across her but she didn't move an inch.
"What do you want?" Her voice was very small and exhausted rather than upset.
He sat down next to her and reached out to touch her. When she flinched, he hastily removed his hand.
"I'm sorry."
"Are you?"
"I am."
She snorted and then choked out, "How many?"
"Pardon?"
"How many of my babies died?"
There was a long silence before he spoke again.
"There were many, Mei. I stopped counting a long time ago."
Something inside her felt like it was breaking, she covered her face as the tears rushed out in a torrent anew. Her whole body shook from her weeping. There were no words, because she didn't know what to say or how to say it.
Jin was restless next to her, wanting to embrace and comfort but knowing she'd reject his touch if he tried. She could see his hand reach out and pull back, but she didn't care and she still wouldn't look at him.
"I'm sorry Mei. I thought… I knew… you would be upset… I was… I was only trying to protect you—"
"I don't need that kind of protection!" She strangled out between sobs. "I don't need… I don't need to be protected from reality! I'm not a… a… child!"
"Mei, I'm sorry, I.. I won't keep that from you anymore. Please Mei, I'm sorry. What can I do? What can I do..?"
She was so angry, so angry at him, but at the same time she desperately wanted comfort from him too. After a while, the tears lessened and her shakes turned to small uncontrollable chills.
"Tell me something true."
"Something true?"
"How many lies have you told me, for my own good or for your own comfort? You think I don't notice? That I'm stupid? I lived with Ye most of my life, how could I not know a sly lie when I hear it? I knew.. or I thought I knew... but I… I thought they were silly lies or lies because the Emperor restricted you. I didn't think.. I didn't think it was like this. So tell me something true, something real. Tell me something that will make me believe in you again."
Her hand shakily reached out and grabbed his sleeve.
"Please, don't lie, Jin. If you love me, please don't lie to me."
Since she was still looking down, she couldn't see his expression. But he gently took the hand holding his sleeve and cupped it in his own. His thumb gently ran across the top of her finger knuckles and then he squeezed her hand before letting it go.
SUY NGHĨ CỦA NGƯỜI SÁNG TẠO 
QueenoftheFuzzyBug
QueenoftheFuzzyBug My readers may be young, and not understand what Mei Hua is feeling. I have friends who've had miscarriages. It's not some piddly thing that you just get over, especially when you wanted that child, when you love every child you've ever had. It's a huge crushing thing to discover your children were dying and it was kept from you. (╯︵╰,)
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