Chương 45: Broken
Hasrem's POV:
"Ughhhhh"
I slowly opened my eyes only to be welcomed by the blinding light we call the sun.
"So bright!"
I covered my eyes while getting out of my mess of a bed and rushed to the curtains of the window to close them. With the light gone, I was able to see again. I could now take notice of the other things happening in my body. My mouth was extremely dry, and I went silly at the thought of drinking water. I had a headache that pounded like a hammer on a nail. My body felt like falling back into bed, but I couldn't even do that if I wanted to. And to top it all off, the room was spinning.
"Ugh, I'm so hungover."
To try and combat this aftereffect of a night spent drinking, that was probably conjured up by Hades, I decided to take a shower. Although it was still there, it was lessened somewhat. It made me thankful for my constant nagging for Convir to add private showers into the teachers' living areas instead of having to use a public shower house. After I dried myself off and finished with my bathroom routine, I put on my teacher's uniform. Today was another day where I had to teach some brats. Although, that was every day.
Unfortunately for me, the teachers' living arrangements were made inside the very building where they teach, so I couldn't even enjoy a good ten minutes of walking before I had to begin the day. It's not like I dislike my job, I chose it after all, but I would still like to have some of my life out of it. And the only time I can find that is well... when I drink.
I opened up the doors leading to my classroom and walked over to my desk. I sat down and began to shuffle around papers, trying to figure out what I was going to be teaching today. For a while now it's just been history, but now it was different. Today and for a while longer we'll be going over how to make environments inside of their Duranians. I hope they're excited for some carpentry and landscaping.
Soon enough students began to pour inside of the classroom and take their seats. I took notice of the same people I usually did. First of course was Iusus, she was a real piece of work, that was for sure. But hey, she was still learning about life and she did have some things going for her, so I'll just wait for her to grow more. Next to come in was Capcis coupled with the same timid atmosphere following after her. She would sit down and squarm around a bit, looking every couple of seconds at the door to see if Quis had entered the room yet. It was routine for her. The reason she made me so interested was because of how on and off her personality was. I notice that sometimes she's able to rally the entire class to do something, but others she would rather sink into the ground and never return. It made me think that if she really tried, she could be just as commanding as Quis.
Then there was Spiravit, he was an interesting one. He was definitely a cocky, impudent, "no one is better than me" type of person. But at the same time, I had to admit he had a pool of Talent behind that overconfident shell. And another good point that could be made was how he did have the ability to learn. That was proven by how his temperament toward me changed after I scared him shitless at the beginning of school. Then there was also his big change after Pulchra died. If I had to guess, I would say that the death of Pulchra made him aware of his own mortality and that caused him to become more serious about life. I was worried about him for a bit, but yesterday he proved that the thought hadn't taken over his life. He did become friends with Quis after all. I'm excited to see who he becomes in the future.
And while I'm thinking about that, I was also very interested in how Quis would turn out. There were many things I could say about Quis. He was a deep thinker, never making a choice for no reason. His spirit is made of refined steel, not crumbling because of a little disturbance. And he's willing to fight dirty to get what he needs to get stronger. But despite all of that, he is still considerate of others. He is what I would call a perfect leader. Willing to be a devil to his enemies, but an angel to his allies. Once he gets stronger, he'll absolutely take over this sect.
For some reason though... he wasn't here today. It was strange. He always makes sure to show up for school, not skipping it even if he didn't sleep a wink the night before. But, if he wasn't here so be it. I'll just figure that out later. For now, I have to start teaching. I gathered the attention of the class and began to pace around while giving the preamble of today's lesson.
"So we all know what architecture is, right? Well, let me tell you all, that is an important part of cultivating your Duranian. Before we get into specifics though, let me tell you all about the difference between Magic Path and Technology Path when it comes to constructing your Duranian. A Technology Path Fruit Cultivator like Telferr or Quis will construct buildings such as an Archery Range or a Blacksmithy. A Magic Path Fruit Cultivator will instead do something more similar to terraforming, like creating a large tree or a volcano. Creating these things in your Duranian is very, VERY, important. It not only gives you multiple boosts like a longer lifetime on your Fruits or a boost in your Fruits' power, depending on the created object's function, but it will also determine what path your Duranian will evolve in once you ascend to Stone Class. So when deciding what to create, keep that in mind. Now there are many ways to create these objects, but I'll teach you this way..."
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"Alright you all, that's all for class today. Remember, if you ever need extra information you can always ask me or go to the library to get your answers. Tomorrow we'll focus more on each of you individually for what you need, so try to get a good idea of what you want to create. Make sure you get plenty of food in for Martial Arts Class!"
After I watched everyone leave and the door shut, I turned around and dusted my hands off, "Another day, another class done. Now I just have to work on... class for tomorrow. Ugh, as much as I love to see the end product of students, this process makes it seem much less lively-"
My monologing was put to a stop as I felt my sleeve being tugged. I turned around to see who it was and was thankful when I saw Capcis' meek figure. This means she wouldn't go gossiping around about me talking to myself, because well, Capcis didn't really have anyone to do that to. Though, I do wonder why she's here.
"What's going on Capcis? Are you alright?"
She let go of my shirt and kept her eyes glued to the ground as she replied to my question, "Um, Ms...Ms. Attu? Is it alright if I, um, I ask for your... advice on something?"
My advice huh? That was something I hadn't ever heard before. Normally if someone wants advice on something they would ask the old man, he always acts super wise in front of the students, so that makes sense. But now someone wanted my advice? Even if it was the only person in the class who was too afraid to ask for the old man's opinion on anything, I would take it! It feels good for your words to matter to someone else.
I gave a sweet smile to Capcis like she was a scared rabbit I was trying to comfort and said softly, "That's quite alright Capcis. Go ahead and tell me what troubles you. I'll give you the best answer I can."
Capcis seemed to be a little less troubled once I said this and began to calm down a little. After breathing in and out a couple of times, Capcis looked at me in the eyes, a rarity for her, and pleaded to me, "Ms. Attu, I am extremely conflicted. I think that I... I think that I like Quis. Like, really like Quis."
Huh? Well, that was an unexpected turn of events? No, definitely expected actually. All she seems to live for at this point is to keep herself attached to Quis. And as for her question... I think I could guess.
"But I know that it's wrong. So I've kept it at bay, trying to just be content with talking to him at all. But after he didn't show up to class, even just this once, I feel so... so bad. I can't get it out of my thoughts. And this has made me realize that I'll go crazy if I suppress my feelings any longer. But I feel awful just for thinking of trying to forward our relationship because of that entire thing with Pulchra. I feel awful without being closer to him and I feel awful for trying to be closer to him. I just... I just don't know what to do."
I could hear a drop of water fall to the ground beneath the both of us. She was crying. This was something that meant a lot to her, I could tell. She must be in a really bad position now that I think about it. Her best friend died, causing her to only be able to relate to one other person, the guy her late friend loved. Now she's beginning to grow feelings for him, but she still holds the feelings of being Pulchra's friend, so she feels extremely bad for it. But she also feels extremely bad because she wants nothing more than to be closer to Quis. It was the definition of being between a rock and a hard place. I guess... let's do things like this.
I walked over to my desk and sat down to scrummage through the paper that lay on it while saying to Capcis, "I see your predicament. Let me ask you something Capcis. Have you heard the story of the sloth who wanted to run?"
I found a black piece of paper and turned just in time to see the confused girl shake her head, "Well it goes like this. There was once a sloth who was like all other sloths. He spent a lot of his life sloth-like. Eating food, sleeping, talking to his sloth friends, and most importantly, being slow. He was fine with being slow, it was how everyone else was, so was it so bad? That was until one day he saw a cheetah run past him. He was left speechless and wanted nothing more than to run like the Cheeta. But then he remembered that he was a sloth. He wasn't meant to run like a cheetah. The next day though, the cheetah ran by him again. This happened again and again. He was struggling between his desire to go as fast as the cheetah and his identity as a sloth. He continued in this misery for the rest of his life, until he died."
I gave my finished origami and coloring of a sloth I made out of the blank piece of paper and said, "Don't be like the sloth and let indecisiveness take over your life and turn it into pain. Make a decision and live with it, otherwise you'll never be able to grow as a person. Alright?"
Capcis grabbed the paper sloth from my hands and looked at it while wiping her tears out of her eyes, "Yea... maybe your right. I think... I think I'm done being so timid and pathetic. I'll think this all over, and then make my decision! Thank you, Ms. Attu!"
She bowed before leaving the classroom with the advice I gave her. I smiled to myself, "I hope she can decide to follow her heart. It's not my place to decide whether it's wrong or not for her to make moves on her dead friend's love. But I do know that usually, following what your heart says ends for the best."
Though... I do wish I thought the same back then.
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Capcis' POV:
I looked up at the big moon in the sky while lying down on the top of a tree that I flattened with a Fruit. The bright stars twinkled around the moon as the breezeless sky moved. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the sloth that Ms. Attu gave to me. I looked at the sloth with my lifeless eyes.
It has been a month since I decided to share my feelings to Quis. One whole month. Yet I haven't had the chance to say anything. He's been missing for an entire month. I've already moved passed the stage of holding hope for his return. It was the same thing that happened with Pulchra. He's gone. And he's not coming back. I covered up the moon with the small paper sloth in my hands and ripped it in half. The two pieces of paper fell down from the tree, just like my final strands of hope. Hope in anything. After the sloth was no more, I returned my attention to the sparkling night sky.
The night sky is such a beautiful sight. But within it is hidden the dangers that night can bring. The same can be said for hope. Hope is a good thing at first glance. Hope is the one thing in the world that will make you continue to move forward. You have hope that the hell you're in will end. You have hope that you can become successful in the future. You have hope that all of the effort, and all of the difficulty will end in greatness. But hope is a double-edged sword. Everything is fine and marry when you have hope. No matter how hard you fall, hope will always be there to get you back up. But what happens once that hope breaks? What happens when the hope you hold so dear, is shattered by the cold truth of reality?
You end up not having any more motivation to do the things you once could. You don't look at the prospects of all of your hard work, instead understanding that the work will never end well. You can't bring yourself up anymore because you know you'll just fall harder the next time. You think, "What is the point of continuing the pain and suffering when there is no good resolution?"
You end up like me.
Broken.
SUY NGHĨ CỦA NGƯỜI SÁNG TẠO 
MrChill
MrChill Alright, so this is happening now. I have a pretty cool idea for exploring how things changed with Quis' disapearence, and it starts with following Capcis' POV. So, yup, this is how things will be going for the next group of chapters. Then we'll be back with Quis for making ends on his deal with Medisma. And then after that, well, you'll just have to wait. So enjoy!
PS: Confucious One once said, "To be able under all circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are giving powerstones, giving powerstones, giving powerstones, giving powerstones, and also giving a review."
Thank you
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