/ Fantasy / Delllleted
Delllleted
4.75 (11 số lượng người đọc)
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Deleted for revision
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4.75
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Viết đánh giá
Interesting premise, with perhaps an inadequate setting. *Writing Quality: The English usage is quite advanced, likely native almost unblemished, only the delivery needs some improvement. *Stability of Updates: Can't judge yet, hence, I'll leave it at four stars. *Story Development: So far there are few chapters to judge, however, I'd say that the story is heading towards a rough start, if the system is about a T-Rex, I don't see many opportunities to create an amazing plot in a modern setting in a common way, for example: In a fantasy world, you could have a T-Rex fighting several other creatures, but in a modern city, unless you insert them and create a background, there are not many opportunities in which a T-Rex which human intellect can be a 'T-Rex' unless you have him fighting with the military for X reason, be careful with where the story is heading. Character Design: So far, I can't really say characters are well portrayed or not, need further reading to ensure, but I'll give you 5 stars just for what's read so far. World Background: As I previously mentioned, you need to be careful with the plot you're going to the device to keep the story engaging, what would you can come up with that would make a creature like a T-Rex relevant in a modern urban setting (a competition between concealed species, he's trapped and experimented on and becomes a fugitive etc...) otherwise I'd fully recommend transitioning this to a more fantastic setting like either eastern cultivation or a full-blown world filled with monsters and hierarchies, your call. I like the premise a lot, personally desired to write a story similar to the protagonist being a t-rex hence why I like it, hopefully, you can bring it to shine with your ideas. Best Regard.
Lets start with the positives. For one, I ain't seen another novel about were-dinos so that gets a +1 from me. The story was funny and there weren't many grammatical errors that made me wanna pull my hair out. As for the negatives, the delivery is kinda off. Like when I was reading it, I found both the narration and the character interaction kinda awkward and jarring. Like it didn't flow well. Several times I was like, woah, that kinda came out of nowhere. It felt like i was actively having to fight the story to understand it, instead of the story just letting me understand it. It was a fun read overall. This has a lot of potential to be something great. Hope you keep getting better and keep up the good work!
My Were-Rex System is a breath of fresh air in an overdone genre. The writing style is great and the flow of the story is well managed, such that it makes you keep wanting to read more. I'd definitely recommend you give it a try!
My initial feeling off this was Percy Jackson kind of style. Ancient monsters/mythologies in an urban setting, and in the case of your novel, this features a young boy blessed with a "system", although we don't know its origins. In terms of language, your way of writing dialogue, I feel that there's no issues. What does lack is kind of the emptiness of some scenes. For example, the mc killing his own parents and so many people, his reaction seems lacklustre. Like he doesn't really care that much and has no trauma. Perhaps it's part of his character as a were-rex, but I just feel myself hard to build a connection with this MC. Another lack of reaction was Layla calling out the teacher regaridng abuse, yet it feels like no one really cared all that much and the fuss seems rather quiet. Another thing is the setting established feels sort of empty as well. Aside from myself imagining a big city like New York perhaps, I don't really feel that this established setting paints any vivid imagery in my head. Jimmy also seems rather one-dimensional. Aside from an old man, I can't find myself connecting with the character either. So to improve, I'd suggest working on giving more "life" to your characters. Make them more "human" emotionally, even if they're not actual humans. This allows readers to connect more with them, and the same suggestion to your setting to make the readers understand more than just an unidimensional image.
Here are my honest thoughts about this novel, I think The main character for me is quite okay for me right now. He is not too bratty and whine to almost everything. I also like he also quite brave to stand up against his bully. However, there are issues regarding Alexander Characterization and here is the list that can be improve: - I think you can give him more build up or information before he receiving the system -You also can maybe showing more interaction between his parent before they die. Maybe you can give more flashback or an interaction before they finally died. Oka let's move on to the world building, for me the world building is quite decent maybe. Yes it set to the modern world which I already have a clear picture of it, but there are certain area that can be improved: - The Author maybe can give a little bit hint or more description of the surroundings. - The author can also at least mention of how the people see and react to this certain things such as the system or some mystical monster that suddenly appeared. As for the pace, I do have a problem, especially with Chapter 1 and Chapter 2. Sorry to say this, it felt that the chapter belong to the middle part of the story or should I say the origin of how the character got that power. Therefore my only suggestion is slowing down the pace...I guess like properly introduce the main Character either interacting with his parents before they died. Another suggestion is maybe the author can give a chapter about flashbacks before the incident especially for the continuation of the book. It could flesh out the Main Character even more and their parents too. However, there are some good things in this novel too: - The side character is mostly decent and have their own traits - The writing is mostly very smooth, clean, and precise in my opinion. Overall that's all I have to say about this novel that have a great potential. Thus good luck and keep up the good work
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The author does a spectacular job in this novel. He is able to quickly give the reader information without during it into a info dump. He quickly establishes early on in the novel what the main conflict will be (No I won't tell you) and is able to create a well-fleshed out main character. Overall I will continue to read this novel and will on the look out for updates.
cool concept on the story, its a fresh air breather, nice plot good development, i hope this noval didnt get drop or pause, i like to read it and keep the update comming
shameless author review here. So guys, I'm the author, and im here to answer any questions you may have. Please, I encourage you to voice your opinions and ask questions if you have them! most importantly, we're here to have fan, so I hope you enjoy the book.
The writing quality could be a tiny bit better with more detail or dialogue but overall it was a good read and I am excited for more, keep it up but just try to make thing a little bit clearer in the future!
The writing quality is good, but I need a thorough representation of the rex-gene. The new genetic formation is linked through a system, but how does it work? Will the story take place in a modern world or an interstellar world? And at first, I thought the character was young, maybe in his teens, so I was bothered by the intimate relationship in the latest chapter. All in all, the story is eye-catching and exciting to read.