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70.68% Critical Hit: The World’s Clumsiest Sword Saint / Chapter 82: Chapter 82 - A New Journey

Chương 82: Chapter 82 - A New Journey

"Woah woah woah. You're having him sit with us while you're spilling this info?!" Termi asks, thrusting a finger at Yorun. "That Stringmaster dude could be watching right now!"

Yorun shakes his head rapidly. "Don't worry. I can tell when he's connecting. It's like a bolt of lightning striking the back of my neck, and my eyes and ears get hazy for a second."

The tiny woman slams her palms on the table, causing poor Lynsel beside her to jolt. "And why should we even trust you?"

Eniyala raises her hand. "Long story short? I'm the Party Leader, and we're doing this. We might get a bit more information from this guy, too."

Termi huffs, crossing her arms. "Whatever. I better be seeing that amazing growth you guys have soon."

Lynsel timidly raises his hand. "Where are we going, by tha way? And how do ya know where this guy is?"

Yorun sighs. "Well… About that…"

As Yorun describes the Puppet who was sent to target the escapee, everyone's face grows into one of horror. Except for me, who currently has the thought of endless EXP cha-chinging in my eyes. "And where is this?"

"Near the border between Puria and Rockend. It's almost 3 days of travel. The Puppet will be there in the same amount of time, roughly speaking."

"Shit. We need to leave now, then. We still have to stop by Galeise first," Eniyala states, standing. "I'll go pick up my equipment, and we'll meet at the eastern gate in ten minutes. See you guys then."

We all split to check our gear or otherwise get ready for the trip, steeling ourselves for the walking to come.

- - -

Surprisingly, I am the first one to get to the gate again. In my past life, I had more than a few cases of being late to work or school due to my clumsiness, but now, I was already ready to head out. Even with 20 Dexterity, I still had plenty of clumsy moments — I had fallen down not one, but two flights of stairs getting here — but my body felt new, vitalized and on a completely new level than in my past life. My awareness was extremely high, I felt mostly in control of my body, and—

"First arrival again?" Termi asks, strolling up to me and breaking me free of my thoughts. I nod. "Guess so. Didn't have too much I needed to pack, so."

"Cool," she responds, turning around to lean back against the wall. It had only been a couple of days, but she was already seeming less strict. Still just as spunky, though.

She isn't opposed to sitting silently apparently, which I appreciate, and I pull up my Statscreen, scrolling to the map section. Thanks to walking around the town several times, the majority of that part of the map is filled in. Five different colored dots shine on the map in different locations — the purple and orange one sit next to the eastern gate, a blue one is approaching them, about a block or so north, a white one with a black outline following a block behind it. Finally, a sea green one dashes from the center of town towards the gate. At the speed he's moving, though, he'll likely still be the last to arrive.

"I should use this more often," I mutter, inspecting the map before swiping it away.

"What are you mumbling about? Are you talking to me?" Termi asks, pushing off the wall using her back.

"Oh, don't worry about it," I say dismissively, still scrolling through other features of my Statscreen. She butts her head closer, her face coming through the floating screen.

"Gah!" Her sudden appearance in my view startles me, and I leap back. The screen follows loyally, and I swipe it away. "Don't scare me like that!"

She tilts her head in confusion. "Scare you? Your Statbook should be transparent…?"

I stare for a second before coughing. "I-I mean, you're just scary in general…"

She looks like she wants to say more, clearly not believing the lie, but she is cut off by Eniyala's arrival. The young woman has her new set of armor on, loosely fitted with bands around the waist, wrists, and ankles, just like her Spell, but black in color. The armor is similar to mine, with the substitution of strips upon her back, one to carry her magic rod, rather than a simple plate. A blue scarf-like material runs over the strips, running gently down her back.

"Well, you guys sure are early."

Relieved, I turn to face her. "Or maybe you're late."

She rolls her eyes. "Oh yeah, I'm five minutes late when I said ten minutes seven minutes ago. That checks out."

"Stop mathing, it hurts my brain."

"Maybe when you stop making up words."

"Well maybe you—"

"Are you guys always like this?" The short lady cuts me off, staring at us. We shrug. "Pretty much," we say in unison, before glaring at the other. Termi laughs, startling us both as it's her first time doing so. "Y'all make a great duo."

"You say that like we'd ever become a couple or something," I point out, receiving a smack on the shoulder from Eni and an "are you dumb?" look from Termi. "Okay, sorry for pointing out the obvious. Not wrong, though."

Eniyala nods in agreement, and we are soon joined by Yorun, who is still wearing the normal clothes he had on earlier, and a few minutes later, Lynsel arrives. He had bought new clothes on our shopping trip not too long ago, but the largest they had was still at least a size too small for the large man. Still, he looked like he wasn't suffocating, so that was a plus.

"Sorry… I got us… extra food for our new members!"

"Don't worry about it, buddy. We all ready?" I ask, turning to the group. Everyone nods, and once Lynsel has caught his breath, we begin the four day journey ahead of us. The first stop would be back to Galeise, as we were the only group of Adventurers in well enough condition to travel. We would submit a report there, and then head to get some answers from a stringless Puppet.

* * *

A couple of days earlier…

"Heeeelp! Somebody stop him! He has my child!"

"Ha! Stupid bitch. Doesn't she realize that with the repairs to the city and the damage the Adventurers in this town took, no one is around to stop easy crime? I'll be rich selling this kid to slavery! Like stealing candy from a baby." To accentuate the kidnapper's point, he snatches a lollipop from the child's hand, cackling as it begins to cry. "Hey, did you cry so hard you shit yourself? That won't fly in slavery, kid!"

Meanwhile, on an adjacent street, a kid with bright white hair reflecting softly in the sunlight wanders, deep in thought as he stares at his Crested Roller in his hands. A deep rumbling escapes the stomach of the pet.

"If you're anything like armadillos from Earth, you'd eat… Shit, what do armadillos even eat?!"

As he (attempts to) brainstorm foods for Panko to eat, a familiar message pops up in front of him. "Oh, f—"

[Cooldown complete!]

[Activating Klum's Reincarnation…]

[DEX reduced to 1.]

Instantly, the boy's legs cross over one another, sending him surging forward around the corner of a building. His arms flail out, sending Panko flying up into the air.

At the same time, a kidnapper runs past the corner of the building, confident in his escape and dreaming of money.

WHAP!

The out of control arm of the young man slams brutally into the uglier man's throat, clotheslining him so hard the baby flies directly in the air. From a distance, the mother sees her child flying up in the air, stained white bottom so full that the weight slowly seems to drag her back down to plummet to the pavement. Powerless, she can only shriek in terror.

Klum lands face first on the pavement, followed by a heavy thump! as Panko lands on his back, knocking the air out of him. The final piece is the baby, who's fall is cushioned by a full diaper that lands directly on his head. As if that wasn't enough, the baby, nauseous from all the throwing around it went through, promptly vomits in his hair.

The mother rushes up, snagging her baby. "You're my hero! Sacrificing your own body to save my baby. I won't forget this!" And with that, she rushes off, muttering something like "But he could have changed the diaper too, while he was at it… Oh well! Who's ready for a big change??"

"Mmmmrf," is all Klum squeezes out, still face down in the ground. Panko crawls up to his shoulder, licking at his undirtied ear consolingly. He catches a whiff of his owner's hair, wrinkling his nose and back off. "Grrriff!"

'I just showered, too,' is all Klum thinks, before he gets up and walks off, Panko pitter-pattering along happily behind.


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