Chương 27: Too late to go back
When I've finished to dry myself, I walk to the bed and lie down, not paying any attention to the Duke. He notices my complicated mood, and he sighs beaten.
He strolls to the bed and reaches out to me.
I turn to the side, not even glancing at him.
«Is my Duchess really intending to sleep this early?» he whispers, too close to be ignored.
I clench my fists but don't move. I have to stay true to my intentions if I want to succeed! In a few weeks, the Duke will stop controlling my every move, and he will let me choose my own servants. I just have to wait some more, and the Duke will give up.
When his warm hand caresses my hip, I wince surprised. His breath hits my ear when he whispers something naughty.
I freeze in place, stopping from breathing all of a sudden while excited thrills run through my spine.
Why is my body reacting like this? Why does the Duke already know how to touch me and where?
His hand moves on my stomach, and I understand that I will eventually concede.
«I will erase my Duchess's worries,» he continues, and then he kisses my shoulder. Fortunately, I thought about this thoroughly, and I chose a nightgown with long sleeves. If his lips were to directly caress my skin, it would be over for me.
All of a sudden, I feel so impotent. I'm already alone in a place far from home, and now I can't even stand my ground against this man...
I bite my lower lip, not to let the Duke notice my thoughts.
«You said you wouldn't reject me,» he reminds me.
I know, right? I've thought about this for a while as well. A duchess isn't a queen: she doesn't have to keep her promises. Yet, I can't force myself to walk back on my word.
I've found the right way, but I'm afraid that this insistent Duke won't follow the script.
I turn on my back and open my arms wide. I look to the side, focused on a distant point.
«Just do what you want,» I utter.
There's no way he will accept my offer like this, right? Still, this can't work if he doesn't think that I'm totally uninterested in his answer. I don't move a muscle until the Duke lies back on his side of the bed.
I turn to the side with a triumphant smirk, but then I hear the Duke's voice.
«Sorry,» he sighs.
Sorry? This isn't the first time he apologises, and he's always done it for the wrong deed. If only he could ask forgiveness for destroying my city... Yet, he's so convinced that he didn't do anything wrong.
Maybe, he didn't. But he could still apologise to his wife or tell her that he pities her destiny, instead of showing me that proud expression. As if he saved me instead of ruining my whole existence, and everyone around me.
«Can you give me back my life?» I inquire. I don't really expect a reply, but the Duke surprises me once more.
«I can't. It's too late for that,» Alexander says. «But I can do my best to grant you happiness here.»
In the darkness of the room, I don't dare to move. I'd like to be angry, right now, but the only feeling that fills my heart is a desperate sadness. I'm trying to hide the fact that I'm crying, but a sob alerts the Duke.
«You don't need to run from me,» he exclaims. «I can go back to my chamber.»
He sits on the bed and moves the cover, but he can't get up because I stop him.
«Don't go!» I plead. I don't care how he will interpret this, but I can't let the court see the Duke leaving my room this early. Even if it means conceding him his victory.
«Duchess, you're being quite troublesome this evening.»
«I'll let you do what you want, just don't go!»
He caresses my arms that are surrounding his waist. He grabs one and brings it to his lips.
«Duchess, can you try talking with me, from time to time? I can help you better if you tell me what is on your mind.»
No, I can't do that. I can't talk freely in here, not act the way I'd like. I'm even forced to dress in those awful corsets, in dresses with hundreds of layers. I can't dismiss the help when I'd like to stay alone, and I can't skip meals in peace.
How do you think I can talk my mind to you?
«I know that you're playing with me,» he continues, «and I don't really care. As long as you're healthy and safe, you can do to me what you want. I will pay back my debt to you, eventually. You just have to be patient, Theodora.»
«If you leave me here, I will be alone for the rest of my life!» I explain, and he nods.
Of course, he already knew what my aim was.
«Fine,» he accepts, in the end. «I can sleep on the sofa.»
«It's cold,» I note. I can't let the Duke catch a cold, no matter how much I hate him. If he dies, I will be even more miserable than now.
And I know very well how awful it is to fall asleep out of bed.
«I'll find a cover, you don't have to worry,» he comments, grinning content.
«I was referring to me,» I point out, erasing that bright smirk from his face. How can he think that I worry for him?
«Is my Duchess feeling cold?»
«I'm all right, but it's better with a source of warmth by my side.»
«Is that so?»
«That precisely is what I was referring to.»
«Then I have no choice but to stay here,» he decides after half a second of consideration. «Shall I warm your bed tomorrow as well?»
«No need.»
What would people think if he comes too often? This Duchess is like a flower. Maybe poisonous, but still a pure flower. He can't let people believe that I'm an evil temptress that ate her husband's heart.
There is no reason to overdo it. Seeing each other once a week is already making people talk, but I can't back away now.
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