Chương 7: Three’s a Crowd
"Ayanokouji-kun, I'm quite curious," Horikita Suzune said with a sharp gaze. "Why did you give a self-introduction? You don't seem like the type who would want to integrate into the class."
Hikigaya, too, was intrigued by Horikita's question.
However, he didn't want to ask directly, as he probably wouldn't get an honest answer.
As expected, Ayanokouji Kiyotaka responded nonchalantly:
"My approach is to avoid trouble. Naturally, I don't wish to cause any issues. But Horikita-san, why do you seem so uninterested in self-introductions? Not only does it help build relationships with classmates, but it's also a chance to make friends. With someone as cute as you, you might become popular instantly."
Hmm, the reasoning is flawless.
However, Hikigaya didn't believe that Ayanokouji was truly averse to trouble; real avoidance of trouble is more like how he himself operates, avoiding any display of special traits.
Ayanokouji's self-introduction had been a complete failure.
"Hmph, what a boring approach," Horikita Suzune said dismissively. "Even if you give a self-introduction, there's no guarantee you'll make friends. In fact, it might even lead to some disputes. If you don't do anything from the start, there won't be any problems, right?"
"But statistically, doing a self-introduction should increase the chances of improving relationships, don't you think?"
"Based on what statistics?" Horikita Suzune strongly countered Ayanokouji's claim. "If we're talking about probability to determine friendship, do you think you have any chance of becoming friends with anyone in the class?"
"Uh…"
Ayanokouji seemed unable to respond, apparently left speechless by Horikita's argument.
Seeing Ayanokouji at a loss, Hikigaya felt a bit pleased. After all, he was usually the one on the receiving end of Horikita's sharp tongue.
Now, you're in the same boat as me!
It's true that happiness often comes from witnessing others' misfortunes.
"By the way, I wasn't planning to make friends in the first place. Therefore, I had no need to give a self-introduction, nor did I need to listen to others' self-introductions."
Horikita Suzune expressed her genuine thoughts with calm words.
"Eh, but you seem quite close to Hikigaya-kun."
"It's just that the atmosphere happened to align."
Horikita Suzune unceremoniously denied any connection with Hikigaya, leaving Hikigaya feeling oddly complicated.
After a brief exchange, Hikigaya, Horikita Suzune, and Ayanokouji Kiyotaka made their way to the opening ceremony, where they encountered nearly all the first-year students.
If the previous Class D had seemed like a chaotic mess to Hikigaya, the entire first-year class now appeared to him like a parade of monsters.
Where did all these strange individuals come from?!
How could there be so many bizarre characters among Japanese students?
Not to mention the magenta-haired youth from Class C, who looked like a gang leader and seemed capable of delivering a punch strong enough to knock someone out.
Furthermore, behind this magenta -haired youth stood a massive black man whose size was almost surreal, like a slave who had escaped from some illegal farm—he looked rather intimidating. [T/N: Bro 💀]
Class A was even more extraordinary. At the forefront were a white-haired loli with a cane, looking frail, and a muscular bald man who seemed even healthier than Saitama.
Though the white-haired loli seemed cute at first glance, Hikigaya felt an inexplicable aura of a demon about her—a type he'd prefer never to encounter.
The only relatively normal class was Class B, where most students looked quite average, and the pink-haired girl at the front appeared very gentle and adorable.
Compared to the other classes' monsters, she seemed like an angel!
"Next, we have the student council president's address."
While Hikigaya observed the students with a detached gaze, a tall and solidly built youth stepped onto the stage.
"I am the student council president, Horikita Manabu," the president began, his sharp gaze causing the temperature to drop several degrees. "On behalf of the current students, I warmly welcome all of you to our school this year."
Under the gaze of all the students, Horikita Manabu spoke in a serious, deep voice. "Our school is renowned for its combination of academic and martial excellence, as well as high rates of advancement and employment. As you know, these achievements are the result of the hard work of our graduates and current students. It is our pride, and I hope all of you will uphold this fine tradition…"
Hikigaya listened intently to the president's speech, finding his pacing perfect and devoid of the usual tediousness that accompanies such addresses.
One could say he was truly suited to be the student council president—perhaps he could even run for president of the United States in the future.
"Hmm…"
While Hikigaya was engrossed in the speech, he suddenly noticed that Horikita Suzune had developed a strange expression, with visible beads of sweat on her forehead.
What's going on?
Is she unable to tear her eyes away from the handsome student council president?
Hikigaya instinctively had this thought, but he felt it seemed a bit off... Wait a minute, did the student council president just refer to himself as Horikita Manabu? Horikita Suzune and Horikita Manabu—could they be...
An unsettling thought began to form in Hikigaya's mind.
"Lastly, I want to inform everyone that this school operates on a strict meritocracy. Only the most exceptional students will stand out!"
With those final words, Horikita Manabu turned and walked away.
The entrance ceremony came to an end.
...
The end of the entrance ceremony marked the official start of campus life. About eighty percent of the students headed straight to the dorms to unwind after a long day.
The rest had already been assigned to groups, with some heading to cafes and others to karaoke.
In no time, the initial buzz had vanished.
Hikigaya was undoubtedly among those who wanted to join the group heading to the dorms, aiming to become a laid-back member of the "homecoming" club.
However, as he left the gym, he found himself unexpectedly accompanied by two familiar faces who, quite evidently, would bring trouble.
"Why are you two going this way?"
Hikigaya looked at Horikita Suzune on his left and Ayanokouji Kiyotaka on his right, utterly baffled by the situation.
"I'm just heading to the convenience store," Horikita Suzune said with a cold, dismissive expression that seemed to say, "Don't think too much of it; you're really repulsive."
This made Hikigaya mentally picture her as a tsundere, trying to hold himself together despite the discomfort.
"I'm going to the convenience store as well," Ayanokouji Kiyotaka said with a relatively neutral expression, though his demeanour was, to be honest, equally hard for Hikigaya to handle.
He was almost convinced these two were either prison guards or figures guiding him towards some dire fate...
Is this what people mean by the youthful spirit of campus life?
Indeed, youth is full of lies!
"By the way, did you two hear what the student council president said?" Unable to tolerate the awkward atmosphere any longer, Hikigaya decided to break the silence. "He said this school is a meritocracy... Heh, that statement is really puzzling. Does this mean the school follows a survival-of-the-fittest approach and will eliminate the students at the bottom?"
...
The silence grew even more pronounced.
What's going on?
Did I say something wrong?
Others always use humour to ease the tension!
Damn it, it must be because I'm not handsome, right!? I also want to be that charming Ikebukuro boy who can get by with just his looks in TV dramas!!!
As Hikigaya wallowed in self-pity, Ayanokouji Kiyotaka spoke without changing his expression, "Meritocracy might not refer to physical prowess but rather to mental strength. The school probably wants us to focus on our personal growth, ignoring external influences."
"I agree with that view."
Horikita Suzune nodded in agreement.
And then... nothing more happened.
The atmosphere fell into another near three-minute silence.
Hikigaya found himself daydreaming about scenarios involving dropped beautiful girls as they walked.
After all, if this were a novel, such illogical twists would be the author's favourite, potentially helping him escape this torturous ordeal.
Or perhaps this is a form of self-discipline, akin to the legendary principles followed by the universal heroes of Tongliao: the first law, the more capable, the more hardship; and the second law, the more hardship, the more gains?
Hikigaya's mind wandered through various wild speculations.
Unfortunately, nothing of note occurred on their way. They arrived at the convenience store without incident and then went their separate ways like three completely unrelated strangers.
Finally, relief came...
The moment Hikigaya rushed into the women's clothing section, desperately trying to avoid the other two, he genuinely felt a sense of liberation, entirely oblivious to his mistake of entering the wrong section.
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